ANGST

REMEMBERING 2003 – 2004
(which I seem to have lost to depression, stress, travel, fun, stress (again)…)

I’ve renewed my gusto to blog. All because of the fact that I already know how to insert pix. Haha!

It took me almost a month to collect memories & pictures from the past 2 years…

Since, my blog hasn’t been updated since 2003, let me review & document the events of the past 2 years (gosh, 2 years!):

July 2003: Bucky’s Bar review, jobhunting, AIU

Got interviewed and accepted at American International Underwriters. AIU is AIG’s non-life insurance group. The AIU office here in Manila is not actually the frontline. Manila RTC (Regional Technology Center) is the IT group supporting all AIU production/sales offices in Asia. Development for applications needed & mandated by AIG head office happens here. I was thoroughly pleased by the monetary offer. However, they told me that AIU cannot hire me directly, hence, my assignment in an agency, IPI. I was disappointed because being assigned to an agency is like working as a consultant. Meaning, neither AIU nor IPI, pays for my SSS, Philhealth, Pag-Ibig, etc. But then, did I really care? Not at that time. I just wanted a job that was core-IT and I got it. Besides, I didn’t have deductions. So I didn’t really complain. Well…

Bucky was reviewing for the bar at this time. I was his yaya, kusinera, masahista, nanay, student driver - to name a few. It was a hard time for me. Though I had so much free time, and I could do whatever I want and have to wake up at 6am to prepare for work, I was constantly depressed because I was so insecure with myself while jobhunting. I felt that I didn’t have the skills, or the experience, for jobs I was aiming for. I was always writing in my journal, looking out the balcony of Bucky’s pad at the Bel-Air Apartments in Burgos. Constantly wondering and regretting the bad decisions I made in that past (working for CCI, turning down an interview with Accenture the 1st time, rotting in CCI for 3 yrs, discovering that an MSCS isn’t what I need to jumpstart my non-existent career) that ultimately led me to my present reality and leading me towards a foggy future. I even considered being a caregiver. Yes, I was that desperate. But I trudged on, searching for jobs in the internet, going to jobfairs, constantly revising my resume. I even accepted a position in a call center as a Technical rep. I attended the graveyard trainings, to Bucky’s dismay. It was such a hassle for both of us. I felt that it was an act of desperation, the pay wasn’t really good and the work conditions suck (imagine having to be awake from 9pm-5am while everybody is asleep; and sleeping with the sun on your face. Not again.). This was also the time when my family and I found out that my father, (yes, my very strict and unbendable-as-a-rod father) is having a freakin' affair, that my mother is breaking down, and we had to pretend everything was OK for the sake of my youngest brother. Everything was in a disarray. Pinagkuluban ako ng mundo. Natutulog ba ang Diyos?

Then the offer from AIU came, surprisingly. In my state then, I was very grateful for having received such an offer, even if it wasn’t thoroughly satisfactory. I took the job. The pay was good and I was already assigned to a project for Hongkong. I was psyched. I was blind. I just wanted to have a job.

Before I started working in AIU, I had to be in 2 weddings: First was Aunty Neneng’s. They had it in Kidapawan. And since, it was Aunty Neneng’s wedding, it was such a big deal, especially to all those who know her. Which was practically everybody in Kidapawan. She’s been single for the longest time after she and Tito Eric broke up because he knocked up a girl silly. My first encounter of men’s weakness. So it was such chaos, with everybody dabbling their fingers in the wedding preparations. “My Big Fat Pinoy Wedding” ito. I didn’t really help with the actual preparations. I just made sure that the small kids were not in the way. Unfortunately, I was the maid of honor and my dress was too tight. And I had to assist in the actual wedding ceremonies like hold the mic while they were reading their vows of 2 pages long, which 1 was missing. Good thing the priest’s copy was complete. It was tiring but fun.

Then it was Momi Indz’s wedding in Bulacan. It was also chaos. Bucky agreed to go & drive my family to Pandi. The whole Delima family was divided between Manay’s & Mama Del’s house. It was my official introduction of Bucky to the family. He was OK. They all knew that he was taking the law studies and was gonna be a lawyer. So, they have nothing else to say. I was supposed to be the maid of honor. But Tita Daylet was able to go home for the wedding so I was demoted to being a bridesmaid. Thank God. The reception was held at the gymnasium of the school, which was quite big and airy so I had no complaints. The food was also great. We had our pictures taken and it was past midnight when we crashed on the carpet of Manay’s TV room. There was no other place to sleep in the house because all the rooms were full. Good thing the carpet was thick and there was still extra blankets. Bucky was very cool about the whole thing.

The older people in the family also talked to Mom & Dad regarding their problem. Another experience of men’s weakness. [Just how may times do women have to deal with this???] Dad lied about his intention of breaking up with his mistress. Mom didn’t trust him. And I got passionately pissed off at both of them, I practically shouted. At that moment, it was all in vain. I just wanted them to be apart than experience the pain of it all. Honestly, I didn’t want to be part of their problem. Too much baggage. They went home the day after the wedding. Og and Onchie stayed for 2 more days, I think. We went to Greenhills to buy PS2 games. I had fun going around with them.

Aug 2003: start of my AIU experience

I officially started Aug 4, I think. The office was nice. AIU just moved in PBCom so everything was new, from the carpets, to the paneling, tables and chairs. And it had the best view. Imagine seeing the burning sky during sunset over Manila bay everyday. It was one of the perks I enjoyed most. I met a lot of new people, even one who was an MIS grad and batch lower in ADMU. Imagine. Everybody was nice there. People were very friendly and helpful. Especially the guys. For the 1st time in my whole life, I was able to get what I need from people just by portraying Nikoleta Pototski (haha! Sorry na lang ang can’t relate). Guys, do love it. Though I had to share a cube with another person, I didn’t really mind coz he was nice and funny. All my cubemates were dandy people. I had fun with them. I was also assigned to a very nice boss, got help from a teammate who was more than willing to share his load of work and was willing to show me the ropes. When the work came in, it was a baptism of fire. My teammate just got from China to do business gathering for AIU China branch. The scope of the project was so big, that my boss had to chop it into 2 and gave one part to me. Still, it was a big part and the application involved in the project was very new to me (like everything else! Insurance, claims, akkk!). Hence, I had to do OT for weeks because I was still learning and I had to deliver outputs. Good thing that my boss was very considerate and never hesitated to help me when things were unclear or confusing. And he was always with us (and fed us) when we had to do OT.

It was also Pia & Manuel's wedding. Bucky & I went to Cebu both for the wedding & bisita iglesia. We visited at least 3 churches to offer prayers for Bucky's bar exams.

Sep-Oct 2003: Hongkong (!) project

After my short stint with the China project, I was formally assigned to the Hongkong project. Not as a lead BA, though, but as a shadow BA. Since there was a more experienced BA who was free and I was just learning the ropes anyway. It didn’t really bother me. The lead BA was nice and helpful. And I was going to Hongkong. For FREE!

I just had to live with the fact that Bucky wasn’t very happy with my good fortune. Because he’d lose his yaya, kusinera, masahista, nanay, student driver. And of course, he didn’t want to be bothered by these things while reviewing for the bar. It took weeks to ease him into the idea of my departure and him being all alone while reviewing & taking the bar exams. I left for HK before his 3rd day of the exam, when I crashed the car into a jeep, got stuck in the streets of Manila because the engine overheated. Good thing that Dino Siason was just a phone call away. He helped me through that 1st car crash. Bucky never let me drive his car alone again.

I was so glad of my Hongkong assignment. It was very good training for me. Also, I was lucky to have Connie & Erwin as companions. We got along very well. Connie was very helpful and patient with me, always answering my questions, always explaining the business. We had so many bloopers when we arrived in HK. We got lost going to the hotel from the airport, also got lost going to the office from the hotel. It was fun though. We shared a lot of laughs. We had separate rooms, thankfully. We met users of the old insurance system in AIA HK. It was hard work. After FGDs & walkthroughs the whole day, we would stay at night to document the requirements. If we had more energy, we’d go around and try the different restaurants. It was fun eating at restos that don’t have English menus. We had to eat the peanuts they served because they were mandatory. You had to pay whether the peanuts were eaten or not. Might as well eat them. When Cnnie got too tired of work, I would go walking around the city by myself. It was nice.

I also invited Og to go to HK for a weekend. He came Friday and went back to Manila Sunday or Monday. He stayed in my room. He got to the city all by himself. Good thing Dad gave him some extra HK$. We went around the city: Ocean Park, the harbor, malls, Mongkok (where we saw lotsa cool cars! And ate genuine HK streetfood), Lamma island, Stanley Market & Victoria Peak. I had fun going around with Og, getting lost & talking to people who can hardly speak English. Fun. I spent almost P7K worth of money for the trips & the shopping for pasalubong.

I went home after weeks in HK because of passport expiry. We didn’t have visa that will allow us to stay for a whole month. So we went home. Thankfully. I didn’t tell Bucky that I was going home. He was surprised to see me home. Then I was back to HK after the weekend. Same work, getting harassed by the users and Winnie. We spent every weekend shopping and going around. We went to Lantau Island to see the biggest Buddha in the world. We also met with Bing (Connie’s friend living & working there) and cooked in her house. When we went back to HK, we were required to stay for another 3 weeks, I think. So we had to exit HK either to Shenzhen or Macau. We scrapped Macau because Pinoys were not very welcome there. So we opted for Shenzhen. Connie & I had no idea what to do there, but it was the cheapest & closest to HK we can exit to. The office applied for our visa and we were off to Shenzhen during a weekend. It was a very long train ride. There was a mall just beside the border. We decided to go around & shop there. After 4 hours of being harassed by uber kulit Chinese tinderas, we headed for HK. We shopped around Mongkok again before crashing in the hotel. On the week we were going back to Manila, we had lunch at one of the expensive restos in HK. Connie & I did our last shopping hurrah in the different malls & tiangges in HK. I remember buying so much on-sale Giordano items. Funny too, coz the sales people in almost all Giordano outlets knew how to say “Suki! Suki! Bili na! Mura, mura!” It was surreal… I was excited to go home and bring all the pasalubong. By the time I went back home to Manila, the bar exams were over so Bucky fetched me in the airport. When we got home, boy, was he happy with his pasalubong. I felt I bought him so much pasalubong to make up for my absence during the 2nd half of his bar exams.

Nov 2003

When we got back to Manila, the never-ending work started. We had to finish the BRD, test the prototype and do that all in less than 2 weeks. Good thing that Connie’s trip back to HK to present the actual prototype for the HKCL project was postponed to January. After the BRD & the prototype was done, we were practically doing nothing. I was assigned back to China CL. During that time, there was so much uncertainty with the project. It was taken over by Gilbert, who luckily had good faith in me. If he hadn’t, I would’ve been sacked like Eric. He didn’t like Eric. Too bad for him. The plan of getting the services of Headstrong for the China project was unveiled to the newly-formed team. It stunned us. I felt like… a liability actually. I mean, after HS comes in to take all the projects, what will happen to us? To those who were still working at projects that HS was going to take over? And the bad thing was, it wasn’t communicated to the organization well. Damn. Talk about bad management. I was also having a rough time with John. He was assigned to the China project before it was temporarily assigned to me. I think he took it badly. The only consolation I had back then was the friendship I shared with my new found barkada in AIU. Though I didn’t really go with during meriendas (because of work), they always considered me when they had plans for lunch outs or outings. They were a nice bunch.

During this time, Bucky also starts working. I remember him being always tied in the office and after office. He & his officemates would always go drinking after office. Even during weekdays.

Dec 2003

The AIU friends spent Sir Roe’s bday party at an Italian resto in Manila. Then we had some drinks & laughs at Ratsky. It was fun. I had a crush to an officemate then. Bad thing was, I think he got scared o me. I might have come on to strong. Again. It was also the time of the AIU basketball league. I turned down an insipid invitation to be team muse. No fuckin’ way…

I didn’t go to IPI’s Christmas party. I felt going there wasn’t worth it.

I went home to Davao for the holidays, of course. I don’t really remember what happened with the family. I think we said a long rosary during Christmas eve, offering prayers of peace for the family. I also remember talking to mom about stuff, about her dealing with the past & her “mistakes” as a wife & mother. The whole affair thing really rocked her world. Her very prim & proper feathers were ruffled. Well, who wouldn’t be. Damn WEAK men. Damn them to hell. It was very tiring talking to mom. It’s tiring remembering this…

Jan – Mar 2004

I spent my 25th bday in Samal with AA, Og. Onchie, Erwin, Jocelyn, Jaja, Mike, Ellen, Gen2 & Khan. Spent the whole day getting burned by the sun, sand & surf.

When I went back to Manila, it was confirmed that Armi was going to be the lead BA for the China CL project. I felt both relieved and depressed. Relieved, to know that there was someone more experienced than me in the team; depressed, to know that management doesn’t trust me. Hay. I took it like a bullet. As if I had the choice.

The China CL project officially started Feb. The team from AIU & HS met. There was a lot of animosity from AIU’s side. I was torn. I wanted the project to go without a hitch. But Armi & Jos’s attitude toward HS was not very good. It was a project doomed from the start. Armi & Audry (the HS BA) went to China for a requirements validation exercise. They were there for a month. I was left in Manila, much to my dismay. All the while I thought I was going with them. I had more knowledge than Audry, I could help Armi more. But, no, I was left in Manila to do stuff for them here. And to think that Audry wasn’t very happy about leaving. Buwisit. Ako na lang sana. Well, again, I took that blow like a bullet. No choice but to swallow my pride & my disappointment. When they came back, I was kinda relieved that I wasn’t with them. Too much pressure. Buti nga sa kanila. Har! Har!.

I spent the Valentine’s Day with Bucky & my friends (Jaja, Rica, Mike, Nina, Rap, Mark) in Boracay. The beach was clean & cold, but the sand & sun were great. We spent the days lounging in the beach, swimming, drinking shake & enjoying the sunset. It was great. If I were to go to Boracay again, it would be Feb or March. Low season, not too crowded and the beach & sun are great.

Bucky & I spent our 6th year anniversary at Antonio’s in Tagaytay. The best steak I’ve ever tasted. Actually, everything there was great: the place, the food, the ambiance. Everything.

April was Bucky’s month. He passed the bar, signed a lawyer’s logbook in the Supreme Court, his parents came over for his birthday and his oath-taking. He was officially a lawyer. His dad was so happy. After many years of hard work.

May – Oct 2004

Nothing much happened during these months. I was tied to the office almost always every weekend. The deluge of work arrived when Armi & Audry came back from China. Bucky was having a rough time with my schedule. The only extravagant date I remember having during these months was another trip to Antonio’s and staying overnight in Tagaytay. I also went to Bora again with Bucky for Wong’s wedding. The beach was frantic! The waves almost swept my bikini away… Other than that, it was work, work, work… Sept-Oct was very stressful for me. There were time when I would go home at 10pm (at the earliest!) to 3am, then go back to the office at 930am. It took a toll on my body. I lost weight & inches.

I also had my braces on the 1st week of May. I never thought eating could be such a displeasure...

It was also during that time that I thought of my future with AIU. I started fixing my resume & jobhunting. I tried applying in SMART via their website. A day after, they called for an interview! I was shocked. It was that fast. I took a test and had an interview. I was very optimistic at that time. I was glad of having been exposed to the whole SDLC process in AIU. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have made it to SMART. Shortly after, I was scheduled for another interview with my would-be manager. I got the job. They wanted me to start ASAP but I wanted to have a break so I lied to both AIU and Smart. Worked out OK coz I was able to take a 2 week vacation. Haha! Anyway, when I told AIU about my resignation ASAP, they were shocked. They thought that I was gonna stay because of my performance (I was able to pull off the OGIS testing., which was the clincher of the whole project). Jos offered slyly offered me a regular position. But she wasn’t going to recommend me for regularization if I wasn’t going to take the offer. It left a bad feeling in the stomach, and I went with my gut. I didn’t accept her offer. Another manager also talked to me about my reasons for resigning. He almost offered me a regular position. But I didn’t let it come to that point. I was ready to leave. Besides, I thought that Smart was an good employer. I quit my job after 2 weeks and went home to Davao. Freedom!

I went home just in time for Dad’s bday parties. Yes, we had 2 parties. One for the family, one for the BLD group. It was tiring. But mom & we went through it to make Dad feel important & special. Hay, what you had to do for parents with lotsa issues. I hope I don’t be like them. Everybody was commenting on my weight loss. I must’ve been really thin then. It was also the first time that people saw my braces.

When I came back to Manila, I got my AIU & IPI clearance & started working at Smart on Oct 25.

It felt great, though I was disappointed with the office. AIU had a great office & view. But everybody was friendly, especially my teammates. Except Pam. She was friendly but aloof. The sosi, maarte kind.

Nov – Dec 2004

Didn’t really have some real projects so I just surfed the net & emailed. We (the newbies) had to prepare a presentation for the IT Xmas party. We organized, brainstormed, & practiced a funny dance. Despite being busy (except me), we were able to practice & shoot our dance. Haha! That was fun.

I went to CDO with Bucky for Gino & Maan's wedding. Everything was wonderful. The food was great & the reception was spectacular. It was at a hilltop, in a home owned by the Araneta's, overlooking the CDO bay. Beautiful.

Before the wedding, we went white water rafting & the canopy walk. Tiring but fun. It was also the time when we confirmed that Peachy & Chito broke up. They have a weird arrangement since the breakup. Well, they're two consenting adults. Let's leave it at that...

Mass Drinking! We held it at Tia's in Katipunan. Yes, it's back. Though, not exactly like the one we grew up with.

We had our own S&P Xmas Party. It was also fun, though I felt that there were cliques in our own team.

Then we had the SMART Xmas party where MVP announced that we were going to have 4 months more worth of bonus. Hurrah!!!!! OK lang kahit pro-rated. Money is money. =)

Before going home to Davao, I was assigned to a project that was going to be launched by the start of the next year. I spent OT for 2 weeks to finish testing.

Christmas at home was eventful. Lola was there, as well as the whole clan. It was a Christmas reunion at Tito Lito’s house. It was chaos. It was fun. I met all the new kids & had so much gifts. All the dad’s siblings stayed at the house, together with the wives, husbands, kids. Tiring but fun.

Jan – Mar 2005

I had to spend my bday at home preparing for my departure back to manila. I celebrated my bday during Jan 1. I had to be at the office on Jan 3.

Very uneventful months. Though I had a rough time in the office during the 1st week of the new year. Because of some freakin’ stupid, unplanned project. Kainis. The only highlight was the Valentine’s Day. Bucky surprised me with a long-stemmed red rose. I was so happy. And kilig. We had dinner at Caffe Maestro which was so not worth the money. Antonio’s was better. We ended up wasting our hard-earned P1600 each.

March was our anniversary month. We celebrated it by having dinner at Saisaki.

We also got Red Corner membership: yes, we moved from Clark Hatch (Dusit Hotel) to Red Corner (Intercon). Bucky, Jaja, Niña, Tonio (???), Jake Antig, and I hitched with my previous grym group in AIU.

That’s it. 1-2 years of my life. Summarized in 8 pages & 18,234 characters (without spaces).

Wow, it was one hell of a ride. Thankfully, I’m still alive & still living. Not a perfect life, but nonetheless, happy.

ANGST

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Monday, May 09, 2005