Quiet Desperation 2

Another piece from my work-angsty-BF:

"Aspice, officio fungeris sine spe honoris amplioris"

It means -- Face it, you're stuck in a dead end job.

A lot of Generation X' ers can fully grasp the meaning of this statement. Its as though you were hit by a rock or you urinated after holding it for a few hours. The sudden physical impact causes a jolt of existential awarness, so to speak. The sudden pain or pleasure makes you realize that you are still alive! Unfortunately, however, realizing that you exit, you start to ask yourself . . . What am I doing here? Squeezing the depths of your awarness, you find no answer. It is as though the answer does not come in one sitting but in stages. It may be a process. Who knows?

For now, I find solace in the fact that sometimes (not all the time) in my vocation, I become an instrument of God's justice, in man's feeble attempt to emulate with god-like precision,by casting upon his fellow man the rewards for doing what's right and the burden for doing what's wrong.

Quiet Desperation

Bucky has been working for almost 2 years now. Like most of us, the 2nd year of working in the corporate world really takes a toll on one's psyche. On my second year, I remember feeling trapped, feeling scared to quit my job to look for a new one, feeling insecure & so unsure of my skills and even myself. It was on the 2nd year when I began to seriously think of finding a new job. It was delayed for a year, until finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I guess this is true for most of my batchmates. Either they stayed on with same company but moved to a different position or group, or really moved to another company, another industry, another country. Very few of us were lucky to succeed in the field of our passion. I'm not one of them.

Anyway, here is what Bucky has to say:

"Living the life of quiet desperation, amidst the monotony and drudgery of daily existence, man in his search for meaning can only hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel and the rains will come though the sun is scorching. And so, as I, more appropriately as we, the citizens of the this earth, go about our usual grind, we should always remember that every thought, word or action can change our world forever. Unfortunately, however, we have to change ourselves first.

Remember that biatch!"