HELLO, WORLD!

after almost 4 months of not 'blogging', im here again.

well, life is not too good, but nonetheless okay.

my vacation (since holy week until the 3rd week of may) made me face life-issues:
*marriage and family issues
*parents and wishing that they'll grow up and act their age
*love and in/fidelity
*profession and what it is for?
*facing and rising above disappointments
*going to law school. why? because i have nothing else to do? because i want a concrete label for what i could be? because i want to help other people and somehow make a difference in their lives. how?
*what have i become? what do i want to be?
*life. what is it? how should it be lived? what makes us go on?

I faced these questions nung holy week. but it didn't really sink in. after bucky's graduation, when i was left with nothing else to do but hunt for jobs, they slowly settled into me. the past 2 weeks have been hard. i was always depressed. i always feel a foreboding sense that the future holds nothing for me. I always fear that in the end i'll realize that i wasted my youth and my life. but then again, being paralyzed by that fear now will eventually make the fear come true. so i guess, i'll just have to face whatever life will bring, one at a time. i'll face them when they come. i don't want to make goals for myself anymore. i'm tired of planning my life...