NOT-SO-VITAL STATISTICS

I have gained soooooooo much weight. I'm bursting out of my jeans, shirts, undies, and what-have-you. And i refuse to shop for new clothes as it will not motivate me to force myself to fit into my now-tight wardrobe. I need the motivation. I need to lose weight. FAST.

So, starting this week, I tried a modified South Beach-Oprah diet: less carbs/starches and more lean meat, fish, and veggies. I'm mortified to be without fruits, so I still eat fruits daily. My current favorite is half-pineapple sprinkled with a little salt.

Also starting this week, I did at least 30-minute cardio exercises everyday. I only rested last Thursday. But I walked from the office all the way home, which is a 30-minute walk, so I guess that counted.

I've also made a promise to myself that my measurements would go down. So here's the baseline (never mind that the whole cyberworld will be privy to such private details. Nonetheless, like I said, I need the motivation. This shall keep me in line:

Left Right
Upper Arm 11 " 11" ----------> problem area!!!
Lower Arm 9.5" 9.5"
Upper Thighs 21" 21.5" ---------> problem area!!!
Lower Thighs 17.5" 17.5"
Calves 13.4" 13"

Waist 27"
Navel 30"
Lower Abdomen 33.2" -----------> problem area!!!!
Hips/Ass 35.5"

Weight 120 lbs ---------> problem area!!!


Inches were added to practically every part of my body. Except my frigging boobs. Oh well, they're God's gifts, so might as well be happy.

Will be checking next week if there is any progress. If none, I'll be forced to resort to appetite-reducing-metabolism-accelerator pills. I swear.

I am a woman with a mission.

Disappointments

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Just half into the year, and it is already riddled with disappointments:

A friend has deeply hurt me. And I have deeply hurt her.
My trip to SG was cancelled.
I did not get the post I felt I deserved to get.

There are some things I was in control. Others, most, I did not. And so I sulk here. Feeling the pain and loss. Hoping that in letting myself go through this, things will pass. Just like everything else.

im trying to live with disappointments and the thought and guilt that i've hurt some people i love. some things are hard to forget. some things are forever lost.

But i try to see what i still have and be happy.

I've still got Bucky and his love,
my family,
my friends and their support in believing that I didn't deserve to be hurt.

I still have my life and a chance to prove myself.