11 Nov 2004
12:43pm
My meeting just finished about 10 minutes ago. Sobrang gutom na ako when it was done. Having to actually work is a nice change from pretending to work and not fall asleep.
Honestly lang, I feel a little odd when I’m with XY or XX-maarte. Parang they go in the same group, while I don’t. Parang they’re the sosy people, and of course, I’m not. I think they’re nice but I just don’t feel that they welcome me. Parang ung feeling ko sa CCI. Which brings me to my experience in AIU. Doon naman kahit consultant ako, I had a group na feeling ko, belong ako. It was a nice feeling. Dito kasi, feeling ko, I don’t belong. Of course I can’t rush things. I’m still new here and my presence might have unwittingly threatened some people. God knows I don’t have any intention of encroaching into anybody’s business. I’m here to work and help. Well, hunch lang naman un. I don’t plan to accuse other people of thinking ill of me.
Uncle Adel and his wife are getting married in the church. Finally. Uncle adel has been dispensed from priesthood, so puede na silang magpakasal. After 3 beautiful kids, finally. Dad and mom are coming over on dec3. Dec 4 ang wedding at Pampanga. I hope bucky is free to take us there.
I really miss my work in AIU. The feeling na marami kang alam. Na hindi ka na nangangapa. Unlike here, syempre, learning curve na naman. Getting to know people… I haven’t emailed my AIU officemates. Wala pa akong email e. for the longest time… Elaine already resigned na rin. Buti na lang. Kaya lang ang gaga, parang nagba-backout after syang na-offer-an ng philam. Ewan ko ba dun. But she has a point. One of her apprehensions is the thought na wala na ba daw syang ibang choice. What if there are other better offers? Oo nga naman, what if? I began asking myself that question also. What if there are better things out there. Especially abroad, like HK or Singapore. The only thing that’s really stopping me from looking for work abroad is Bucky. Ayaw nya kasi e. He asks why I want to work abroad, and I tell him that I just want to experience it. It’s not the money. I just want to feel completely independent and focus on work. Three years abroad would be OK. Lets see the developments here after a year. If I’m still not satisfied, I’ll start looking somewhere else. Anyway, it’s too soon to tell.
I also miss my AIU barkada...