I got this from a friend who's been to the US and back, thrice. It took him 3 times to realize where he's really happy.
Sana ako din, ma-realize na kung ano talaga ang gusto sa buhay...
"here is my thing: this is my 3rd stay here in the US. the first time i came, i was unhappy and came home after 6 months. the second time, i stayed for 3 months and missed pinas so bad. i thought i miss the modeling career i left and i thought i made a big mistake for leaving when i was on my peak...but it wasnt the modeling that i missed. i missed home. i missed my friends. i missed my dogs. i miss my loved ones. che wong , my family and elaine lim. so i came home. i worked again in manila as a model and even did 3 guest appearances in 3 abs cbn shows and 1 for gma. was i happy? nope so i thought that the US was the way to go again....so i went back.
it is 2 years now. made money. learned my 3rd language. met new friends. 2 levels from becoming a professional volleyball player here in the US. learned to be a bartender. learned so many things. got a scooter. bought a car. learned how to get around sunny tampa. with car or without. live in a cool place with model looking neighbors. travelled a lot. got immune to cats (been allergic for many years). starting to become known in the night life scene. starting to feel like manila...but am i happy? definitely not.
people say that my lovelife is just zero...but it is not. people say that it's due to weight gain...but it is not. never been happier weighing 200 pounds. why worry when i will no longer model. people say that it's due to my skin that has aged 10 years due to stress and allergies...but it is not.
i just miss something and i definitely miss davao. davao is my home. it is where i belong. a lot of people like me there and more hate me...but i dnt give a fuck. i miss our house in ecoland. i miss being able to take the jeep by just doing a 3 minute walk from our house to the kanto where claveria jeepneys pass by. i miss cheap massages. i miss SM davao even when i can only count how many times did i get to go to the place. but besides these shallow things, i miss my family so bad. i miss my youngest sister who is so funny and never seperated from me for many years til i moved here. i miss us driving late at night to grab a snack at dimsun diner or wherever our hearts desire. i miss making fun of myself in public places that drives her crazy she begs that i stop or else she'll pee in her pants. i miss my ate pia who never fails to be a bigger bitch than i am. i miss her cooking. i even miss her tantrums. i miss my mom who definitely is the best mom in the world. i miss my dad who makes me laugh because he is just so mayabang...and what's annoying is the fact that what he brags about is really impressive and TRUE. hate him! heheheh. i miss my best friend elaine who is always by my side no matter what. she never ditched me when i was in deep shit. i miss my ex-gf che who never failed as a partner even once. she is definitely the best woman any man can have. che made sure that my spirts were high and well even when hers were down. where else can you find a person who would put your happiness first before hers? i wish her and jorel the best.
i miss my life in davao.
i may make the biggest mistake in my life for letting go of the american dream but 3 tries are more then enough for me to know that this country is not for me.
i will be back in davao. i dnt know what's in store for me. i dnt know what field will i pursue this time. i dnt know if i will make new friends. i dnt know if life will be better...but one thing is for sure....
davao is home and davao will make me feel happy again.
and i wish that i find that something i have been looking for for many years now.
life is not life if you are unhappy."
How TRUE.