BANTAYAN Island (Cebu, Nov 2006)

Bantayan is an island at the northwest part of Cebu. It is supposedly the “egg basket” of the Philippines, as such, the island was given dispensation or exemption by the Vatican from fasting during the Holy Week. The center of the Holy Week celebration in Bantayan is the centuries-old church built in 1580. It is also home to the more delicious variety of danggit and other salted dried fish.

As for me, Bantayan is an island of great beaches, sunrise & sunset. Among a million other great things. View my Bantayan photos View my other Cebu photos: Camotes and Malapascua

For more information on resorts in the island, click on http://www.bantayan.net/ or http://xoops.bantayan.net/modules/xyp4all/topten.php?hit=1

Disclaimer: Prices, activities, schedules, telnums, etc. were valid when we were there. This info may have changed as of reading.

Summary of activities & expenses:

Kota Beach Resort – P770/room/day

There are other bigger & newer cottages. Prices range from P1,500- 3,000/cottage. Good for 4-6 pax/cottage. See telnum below

Day 1
Jeep from Maya pier to Don Pedro – P25/pax (see my Malapascual blog)
Tricycle from Don Pedro to Hagnaya – P50/trip
Boat from Hagnaya to Sta. Fe – P140/pax (see telnum below)
Tricycle from Sta. Fe pier to Kota Beach resort – P50/trip
Lunch/Dinner at Kota beach resort – P150-200/meal/pax

Day 2
Breakfast in Kota beach resort - P120-150/meal/pax
Tricycle to Sta. Fe beach club – P20/trip
Tricycle to St. Bernard beach resort – P40/trip
Lunch at St. Bernard - P150-200/meal/pax
Dinner at Marisquiera – P170-200/meal/pax

Day 3
Breakfast in Kota beach resort - P120-150/meal/pax
Trisikad from Kota to Ogtong Beach resort – P20/pax
Entrance fee at Ogtong – P100/pax
Lunch at Ogtong - P150-200/meal/pax
Trisikad from Ogtong Beach to Kota beach resort – P20/pax
Round-trip tricycle fare from Kota to Bantayan town market – P300/trip
Danggit – P80/250grams
Dinner at Marisquiera – P170-200/meal/pax

Day 4
Breakfast in Kota beach resort - P120-150/meal/pax
Trisikad from Kota beach resort to pier – P20/trip
Boat from Sta. Fe to Hagnaya – P140/pax
Bus from Hagnaya to Cebu City – P85/pax

How we got there:

> From Malapascua island, we started our way south going to Bantayan Island. When we arrived in Maya (see my previous blog about Malapascua), there weren’t any busses going south to Cebu, so we boarded a jeep for Bogo. It would take us a little over 1 hour to get to ‘skina (“eskina”, which means “road”, I think) Don Pedro, get down, and ride a tricycle to Hagnaya port. Jeep P50/pax. Tricycle P50/trip.

If you’re coming from Cebu city, there are busses in the Cebu North Terminal with signs “Hagnaya”. There are also “public” vans/v-hires and cars for hire for a more comfortable trip.

> It was just 30 minutes before departure when we arrived in the Hagnaya port. It felt like the Amazing Race. Good thing that the boat (Super Shuttle) wasn’t full and we were still able to get tickets. I was surprised to see that there were 2 other lines operating between Hagnaya and Sta. Fe. The boat trip took about 1 hour. As expected, the trip was uneventful. There were noisy Korean kids running around, and a B-movie was playing in the TV. I started shooting the profile of the island when didn’t appear too small in the camera screen, and I could see the white shoreline.

Boats from HAGNAYA (Cebu) to STA. FE (Bantayan Island)

1) Super Shuttle (032-2323150) 1 hour, P140/pax
Hagnaya To Sta. Fe - 7:00 Am / 10:30 Am / 12:30 Pm
Sta.Fe To Hagnaya - 8:30 Am / 12:30 Pm / 4:00 Pm

2) Aznar Fast Craft (032-4352065) 30mins only, P168/pax
Hagnaya To Sta. Fe - 8:30 Am / 11:00 Am / 3:30 Pm
Sta.Fe To Hagnaya - 10:15 Am / 1:30 Pm / 4:30 Pm

3) Island Shipping (032-4352078) P168/pax
Hagnaya To Sta. Fe - 6:30 Am / 9:30 Ma / 12:30 Pm / 1:30 Pm / 5:30 Pm
Sta.Fe To Hagnaya - 5 Am / 7:30am / 9:30 Am / 11:30 Am / 3 Pm

Day 1:

> It was around 12 noon when we arrived at Hagnaya port. Unlike other ports I’ve been to, the water around the port was actually clean & clear. From the Port, facing the island, we saw Sta Fe beach at the right side of the port & Kota beach at the left in all their “white” glory. I was ecstatic. If we didn’t have our luggage, I would have jumped into the water immediately. Haha! Exaj.

> From the pier, a lot of tricycle drivers, habal-habal (scooter) drivers, vendors and jeep barkers were trying to get us to hire them. We took a tricycle and were at the resort in less than 5 minutes. Tricycle P50/trip.

> Check-in and lunch at the Kota Beach Resort (32-2542726/2545661). We dropped off our bags in our room, which was dismally old & crummy, but nonetheless clean, and went straight to the beach. The brightness of the sun reflecting on the white beach took my breath away. Parang kumikinang ang sand. The beach was beautiful. And there weren’t any people loitering around, which made it feel exclusive. While waiting for our lunch to be served, Bucky & I took a gazillion pictures along the shore.

The bottled water was so expensive! A liter, that costs P20 in the grocery, costs P60 in the resort. Crazy! We only knew the day after that a small market about 200 meters from the resort sold cheap bottled water, and was open 24 hours. Lunch P150-200/meal/pax. Room P770/night.

> Swimming, exploring, siesta-by-the-beach, playing cards. Our vacation in Bantayan Island officially started. We checked out the west side of the island, which was to the right of Kota beach. Mejo mahaba pala ung beach so we only walked as far as the last resort we could see. There were Budyong & Yoonek beach resorts in this stretch. The sand wasn’t as fine & as white as Boracay, but it was clean, and it had the “proven?al” appeal. And also unlike Boracay, there weren’t any flashy resorts, malls or stores, no pesky masahista and vendors. The locals, especially the children, were friendly, and most of the time, curious. I guess they were more curious of our camera and tripod than of us. The Budyong-Yooneek shoreline, was peppered with old and beaten wooden outrigger bangkas. When we were strolling, children were helping their father and/or eldest brother untangle the fishing nets. It really felt like the probinsya: simple, quiet though friendly, and humble.

> After taking our first sunset pictures in Bantayan, we had a blah-dinner at the resort, showered, and retired for the night. It was a very tiring day. I also felt the first pangs of sunburn on my shoulders that day.

Day 2:

> Catching the 1st sunrise in Bantayan. The resort was more beautiful during sunrise than it is most of the day. Even though it was a little cloudy, the sun rose out slowly, radiating the whole blue sky with hues of orange and yellow. The tide was high, the water unusually warm, and the whole place was … still.

> Exploring Sta. Fe. After breakfast, which was the only redeeming meal in the resort, we decided to explore the island further. We hired a tricycle for a trip to the east side of the island, where Sta. Fe Beach & St. Bernard resorts were. Sta. Fe Beach resort was disappointing. The pictures from the internet were very impressive, but when we got there, the resort was small, though the beach was nice, considering that it was very near the pier. We just took some pictures of the “watawats” (as Bucky puts it) and the beach, then decided to go to St. Bernard at Barangay Ocoy. We took a tricycle again, which the driver charged us P40. Little did we know that St. Bernard resort was just a short walk away. St. Bernard resort was a narrow lot with about 10 circular concrete huts. The resort was kinda disappointing also, though I expected it to be not really nice because the huts were inexpensive. We walked further east from St. Bernard and came across a quaint beach house, a deserted-looking hut, and a shady empty lot with vines & little purple flowers. By this time, it was very hot and windless, so we took a dip. Like Kota, the beach in Sta. Fe had a long, grassless shore, that during low tide, you’d have to walk far before the water reaches your chin. Total tricycle fare = P60 (2 trips: Kota to Sta. Fe, Sta-Fe to St. Bernard in Ocoy).

> Lunch at St. Bernard resort. We went back to St. Bernard Resort for lunch. I had the sizzling lapu-lapu, while Bucky had pork snitchzel. The food was OK, way better than Kota Beach resort. The serving per meal was for 2 people, but we finished both our meals. Why do we get so hungry at the beach? P150 – 200/meal/pax.

> Walk back from St. Bernard to Kota Beach resort. We were so full after lunch that we decided to walk back to the resort, even though the sun was freaking hot. Figured that it was also a good way to explore the Sta. Fe beach, and get rid of all the calories we downed from lunch. There were a lot of houses, bangkas & mothers screaming for their children to quit swimming and have lunch. We passed by a barangay, crossed the pier, and reached the Kota-side of the shoreline. The tide was so low that we could see thousands of mini-crablets (yes, they were smaller than crablets, hence mini na, crablet pa), crawling frantically back into their holes when they felt us approaching. Initially, I thought they were dirt, or pieces of wood washed ashore. And then they moved & disappeared in the sand. When we reached the beach by the lagoon, we couldn’t help but take a dip. It was just so inviting! The water was clear and the shore was grassless, besides, the sun was up, it was so hot and we were sweating like pigs because of the long walk. By the time we got back to Kota Beach resort, we were hungry again. After merienda, siesta, more swimming & picture-taking, it was sunset again and time for dinner.

> We had to go out in search for dinner because the food in the resort wasn’t good. Most of the trisikad drivers recommended a Portugese resto near the mercado or market. So not knowing where else to go, and not wanting to eat in the resort, we ended up hiring a trisikad for Marisquiera. It was a big, open-air resto, with native/local furniture & design mixed with European, not just Portugese, flags, shirts, and what-have-you. It was a rather eclectic mix. Even the cuisine, the customers, and the owners were … mixed. The food was way better & more “exotic” than the food in Kota and St. Bernard. We wanted to try so many foreign-sounding dishes but we could only order 2 different meals. Bucky had a beef meal with fries, while I had the red curry chicken. Both meals were very spicy, we ended up downing beers and 2 pinipig crunch ice cream bars. I didn’t care about my dieta anymore. I was praying that I’d lose all the calories from swimming & walking around the island. Feeling guilty for eating so much food, we just walked home back to the resort. We played a round of chiki-cha by the beach while waiting to get drowsy. While we were at the beach, we could hear a group of people in one of the cottages playing poker. Bucky couldn’t help but be inggit coz he knew that VC and his friends were playing poker in Manila during that time. We didn’t have poker chips so couldn’t play on our own. After 3 rounds of chicki-cha, we got sleepy and went back to our room to retire for the night. Dinner = P170-200/meal/pax.

Day 3:

> We saw the best sunrise on our 3rd day in Bantayan. We also met a cute kid named Valerie, and her mom Rosette. After breakfast we decided to go to Ogtong Cave & resort.

> Ogtong Cave & Resort was farther up in the island. We took a trisikad & were there in around 15mins. The resort was on a low cliff that extended to a beach. The resort was clean, nice and well-kept. It was owned also by the owner of Sta. Fe Beach Club. Ogtong cave was actually just a little hole in the ground/rocks that had a fresh-water pool. The resort made a staircase down to the underground pool, and attached lights on the overhead rocks so that people can swim towards the farther end of the pool. It felt creepy when we first came in because the pool was kinda dark and full of shadows. Good thing people were already there when we came in. The water was cool and surprisingly very clear. And there were small fish! It was hard to gauge the depth of the water because it was dark, we ended up banging our knees and legs against the rocks on the shallow parts. There were also parts in the pool that became suddenly deep and slippery. I wouldn’t recommend it for unattended small kids who don’t know how to swim.

We had lunch after our refreshing dip in the cave. I had the best chopseuy in years. Bucky also raved about his grilled beef tips. After lunch we went around the resort, took some pictures, and went down the beach. Like everywhere else in the island, the beach in Ogtong had a long grassless shore of pristine white sand. It was also low tide when we were there, but that didn’t stop us from wading in the cool, shallow waters and taking some more pictures.

Bucky & I were so amazed by the underground pool at the cave that we decided to stay there for another hour. Swimming in the fresh-water pool was a refreshing break from the salty beach.

> Trip to Bantayan town, market, & Bantayan church. We went back to Kota beach resort, showered and prepared for our trip to Bantayan town proper. We hired a tricycle who agreed to take us there and back for P300. The trip to the town took about 30 minutes. We passed by barangays, the island cemetery (which was very crowded with visitors and vendors), old houses, and stores. Bantayan town is a small and quiet town, with a plaza, church & market all within walking distance from one another. Our first stop in the town was the market. We bought danggit and other varieties of salted dried fish, for which the town was famous for. After we bought our danggit, we went to Bantayan Church. Besides being famous for its age (it was constructed 1580, I think), it’s also famous for its Lenten activities. The whole Bantayan was given dispensation or exemption from fasting by Vatican. I guess that’s one of the reasons why the island is especially busy during Lent. It was so quiet in the church when we got in that I couldn’t help but whisper. I even felt hiya about taking pictures for a moment. I said a little prayer, also asking permission to take photos. It was amazing to see how old the church was: the walls were made of blocks of coral stone, the big church doors looked heavy and old, and the design in the glass windows looked very aged too, though I don’t believe that they were installed since 1580. After taking photos, we went out to light candles and offer prayers. After all, it was All Soul’s Day.

> Catching the last sunset in Bantayan. It was just before sunset when we arrived at Kota from our trip to Bantayan town. The last sunset turned out to be the best in our 3-day stay in the island. We swam and took pictures by Budyong beach until it the sun was totally gone.

> Dinner at Marisquera again. Since we weren’t able to taste the other exotic-sounding dishes the night before, we decided to eat at the Portuguese restaurant again. We had pork Bitoque, pinakbet, and beer.

> I wanted to go night-swimming but Bucky & I were so tinatamad to change and shower again. So we decided to pack our bags because we had to leave early the next day.

Day 4:

> Breakfast at the resort & taking pictures of the last sunrise. We woke up at 5am again to catch the sunrise by Budyong beach. Took great pictures.

> Back to Cebu city. We had to catch the 830am boat to Hagnaya (see schedule above), and catch the earliest available bus to Cebu City so we would have enough time to unpack, change bags/clothes, and buy food & medicine for our trip to Camotes Islands. We were able to buy tickets for the 830am trip. Trisikad = P20/trip. Boat = P140/pax.

Thank God, the next bus for Cebu city was airconditioned. The trip was better compared to the one we took with the non-aircon bus to Maya. There was a stop-over in one town where passengers were given time to pee, stretch, and buy some lunch. We had 3 hotdogs and 4 puso for lunch. And we ate it on the bus because there wasn’t enough time for a sit-down lunch at the karinderya. Bus Ticket = P85/pax.

> After around 4 hours, we arrived in the city, got into a cab (which was stopped by a police because we loaded the taxi at a no-loading area. Buti na lang, lawyer si Bucky at nasindak ang police), went to his house, dropped off dirty clothes and other unnecessary stuff, had lunch, bought groceries and medicine for my allergies (I think I ate too much eggs), and left for Cebu Pier 1 to catch our 530pm trip to Poro Port.

Total Expenses: P8,406.00 (for 2 pax)

I had such a great time at Bantayan that I plan to take my family there for a vacation when I have the money. The place isn’t too expensive and not too far either.

Next stop: Camotes!

MALAPASCUA ISLAND (Cebu, Nov 2006)


Here is a chronicle of our adventure in Malapascua. The entry below contains activities, prices, and other details that might be useful.

Just an aside, we used my Olympus SW720 water+shockproof “caseless” camera. I cannot ask for anything more from a camera. We had so much fun using it during the whole trip! Imagine, a camera that you can take anywhere, without worrying that it’ll get wet or banged around. Even strangers would look surprised when they see us taking the camera into the water, or throwing it around. Amazing! View my Malapascua photos. View my other Cebu photos: Bantayan and Camotes

Disclaimer: All info in the entry below was valid & accurate during our stay there. Prices, routes, schedules, etc. may have changed as of reading.

We start at the farthest/northernmost island in Cebu, Malapascua. It's more famous for its dive spots and sightings of thresher sharks. I'm no diver, but I'm still very glad that I visited this tiny island. The water was clean, the beach was quiet, you could sleep under the shade without a care and there aren't too many pesky peddlers around.

For more details on the island, go to http://www.malapascua.de/

How we got there:
> Went to Cebu City North Bus Terminal

> Got in CERES (or any) bus with sign "Maya via Bagay". This took us to the Maya pier where bangkas going to the island are waiting. Aircon at 8am (P85), non-aircon every 30mins (P70).

> It's was low tide at the Maya pier when we arrived, so the big bangkas going to the island are too far from the shore. We were transported by mini-outriggerless-bangkas or "taxis" to the big bangkas. The water is only about knee deep high, but we'd have to walk very far and risk our stuff getting wet, so we opted for the water taxis. People being ferried by the water taxis stay still for about 5mins, otherwise the taxi could turn over. P10/pax.

> The big bangkas wait for at least 10 people before leaving. The fare was paid at a booth in the pier. P40/pax.

Day 1:

> Check in at Palm Place. It's about 250 mtrs away from Bounty Beach. Not beach front, but not too far naman. We didn't mind the distance so long as the room and CR/shower were clean. The staff was very helpful too. There was no electricity when we arrived because the generators are only turned on from 4pm-6am (of the following day). P500/day/rm.

[For information on other resorts, click the link above.]

> Lunch at Blue Water Resort. The food took so long to be served! Around P150-P200/meal/pax.

> Picture-taking, beach-bumming, swimming . Though not as fine as Boracay, the sand in Bounty Beach is so clean & white. There’s lots of sea grass along the beach though. I guess that's part of its appeal. There are large grassless areas in the water where Bucky & I swim. I'm scared of swimming by the grassy areas Imagine not knowing if there are creepy crawling creatures that you can't see in the grass. Yikes!

> Dinner at La Dolce Vita. This is a restaurant owned by an Italian couple who fell in love with the island and decided to make it their home for 6 months every year. The restaurant is in a beach opposite of Bounty Beach. It's like being transported to a GB3 resto with a beach for a view. The food was great, too. We had a meaty pizza, chili-garlic spaghetti, and red wine. Around P200-300/meal/pax.

> Massage at the cottage. After dinner, the aleng masahista came by. After an hour under the magic hands of the masahista, the whole day felt perfect: beach, good food, and a relaxed body before going to sleep. What else could I ask for? P250/hr/pax.

Day 2:

> First sunrise in Malapascua. We got up at around 530am to catch the sunrise. It wasn’t such an effort because we slept at around 9pm the previous night. Who wouldn’t, after the very relaxing masahe?

> Breakfast at GingGing’s Eatery. To get to this place from the beach, we looked for the “Sunsplash” sign/arrow. A narrow road leads to Sunsplash Resort & Resto and to the houses farther into the island. We reached a clearing and dirt road and La Isla Bonita Restaurant, turned left at the dirt road, walked a little farther and saw the sign. The food in this place was cheaper and as good as, if not better, than the most of restos at the beach front. A lot of people eat in this place, especially during breakfast and lunch. Yummy mango pancakes! P100-150/meal/pax. We also had our distilled water-bottles refilled here for only P10/liter. A new 1-liter bottle bought in the beach front costs around P35-50. Bucky & I drink at least 3-4 liters of bottle a day, so we saved quite a lot, enough, I think for a merienda.

> Snorkeling around the island. A lot of “canvassers” approached us during Day1, asking if we wanted to go snorkeling. The prices were usually P600 for a half day trip, no matter how many you are. The max num per trip will depend on the size of the boat. We agreed to the price when a lone Italian tourist, named Silvio, agreed to share the expense with us. So P600 was divided into 2, for which Silvio will pay P300, and we pay the other P300. Mask rental was P100/day/pax. We started snorkeling at the Coral garden. There were lots of corals, but some, if not most are dead. Well, at least they looked dead to me, comparing the corals to those in Pandan Island. There were only a few, small fishies. The next stop was the Blue Coral garden. Madaming blue corals dun, not too many fish, and super strong currents. Bucky was getting mad at me because I wouldn’t leave his side. The dead corals looked scary! I couldn’t help thinking that a sea monster might suddenly appear and eat me. Hahaha! The next stop was the supposedly sunken Japanese ship. It didn’t look like a ship, but the skeletons of a boat (I guess) were there. Dami na ring corals na nakadikit. It looked scary. The last stop was at the islets (I forgot the names) seen from Bounty beach. It was already lunch time so the tide was low. We hadn’t anticipated the depth of the water so when we jumped from the bangka, we hit the stones & corals. I was wearing my booties when I hit the water & stones. Sharp rocks cut Bucky’s right foot. Good thing that sea water is a natural anti-septic, so we didn’t worry about infection. Those cuts made me worry, not so much because of infection, but because it might ruin the day for Bucky. Thankfully, he got over the pain quickly. The corals were more alive in the islets, and there were more fish than the 3 previous sites. Total expense for the snorkeling was P250/pax.

> Lunch at Cocobana Restaurant. After a very tiring morning, both of us ate full meals, plus mango milkshakes. The Thai chili-basil chicken and weird-sounding-sausage meals were great. That, or sobrang gutom lang kami. Goodbye, half-rice/low-carb diet. P150-200/meal/pax.

> Picture-taking, beach-bumming, swimming, siesta-by-the-beach. After snorkeling and a filling lunch, plus the cool sea breeze, we couldn’t help but be drowsy. With just our sarong & a spot under the shade of the coconut trees, we had our siesta. We woke up after about an hour, then further explored the east-side of the island. There were more resorts: Sunset, Exotic. There was a large clearing/ grassless beach were we swam & took pictures the whole afternoon. Thank God for the great weather.

> Dinner at La Dolce Vita. We wanted to try the other dishes we couldn’t order the night before. We had the platter of assorted cold cuts, spaghetti pomodoro, and a pork-in-tomato sauce meal. Everything was superb.

> Happy hour at Blue Water resort. We finished dinner at around 730pm so we had more than enough time para masulit ang happy hour. Actually, the only available drinks are gin-sprite and rhum-coke. Hahha! But 3 orders (of buy 1 take one) were enough to make us tipsy. We had drinks by the beach, with only a lampara and drinks on our table. Bucky & I just talked the night away until we got tipsy and sleepy. P80/order (2 glasses/order).

Day 3:

> Breakfast at GingGing’s Eatery. We woke up at 630am for an early breakfast. We still had to prepare & pack our stuff before leaving.

> It was time to leave the island. The first bangka to leave Malapascua for Maya leaves at 8am. The “terminal” is at a booth along Blue Water resort. It was also low tide when we arrived in Maya, so we had to take the water taxis again to get to the pier. Big bangka P40/pax. Water taxi P10/pax.

Well, some good things have to end. I hope to see you again, Malapascua!

Next stop: Bantayan island!

Updates, updates, updates...

So what's been happening lately?

- Hooked with the high school drama series One Tree Hill. I never knew that American high school students had so much ... angst. I wonder if what the series show really portray real life. If it does, well, it's very disturbing. But I think I can relate to Haley... the disturbed part, not the teen part ...










- Season 3 of Club 650 Volley has started. I'm still with Fusion, Season 2 champion team. Naks! The organizers changed the rules this season: instead of game wins as basis for the standing, they made a point system such that each won set scores 2 points, and each lost set scores 1 point. Each game will only have 3 sets. At the end of the eliminations, the points are added up and the teams are ranked. Then the top 6 teams will go the semis, i think. Anyway, the rules & standings are in this link www.club650.com
















- Spanish Film Fest last Oct 3-15. As much as I wanted to watch all the movies, I wasn't able to because of work, we were late and the tickets was sold out, conflict of schedule, i didn't get any invitation to a Barcelona (a Pinoy film set in Barcelona). Oh well, too bad. There's still next year. That is if I'm still here. haha! The only film we were able to see was No Sos Vos, Soy Yo. It was about a man in his midlife, struggling to find happiness and himself after being dumped by his new wife. Bucky liked the movie. It was funny, realistic and not sappy.

- Poker! I finally played my first round of poker last Saturday. Anthony & Niña sponsored the game. VC & his friends came to play too. After a while, Tatot & Dino came. After losing 1 round, Dino played again and won. Bucky & I both lost. Well, it was our first poker night. Practice, practice! Another round of poker this friday. Let's see if there's improvement.

- Losing weight. I didn't drastically lose weight, but my slacks aren't too tight anymore. Hurrah! I must've done something right. Have been trying to stay away from "white" food, like rice, bread, pasta, ice cream, crackers, chips & softdrinks. Will try very hard to keep this diet. Pero I've been daydreaming about buffet. Spirals in Westin to be exact.

- Jaja's baby is 2-months old already and she went back to work na. The baby looks like his dad. Undeniable.

- I haven't seen Paula in months, except for that post game 2-hour dinner with her & Jaja at Libis.

- Mac is incommunicado, at least to me. I wonder what he's doing in UK. envy. envy.

A Pleaseant Suprise ...

A little while after I joined Smart almost 2 years ago, I realized that I got the short end of the stick, having negotiated my pay to fall below my expectations. But since at that time, I just wanted to get away from AIU, I took the bait, open-eyed, even if I knew it would kill me.

So I traded less money for less stress. Which did I prefer? I thought I wanted money, rationalizing that I still had my energy and my youth, that I could take the beating in AIU. I didn't want to go back to AIU but at the same time depressed that I wasn't earning as much as I wanted. So I felt powerless again.

The funny thing is AIU and/or Headstrong wanted me back. But my pysche and my body took such a beating that just thinking of working in AIU again gave me migraine. I didn't seriously think about returning to AIU when they were calling me just months after I joined Smart. When there was an opening again around Feb this year, I went through a series of interviews, first with HR, then with a project manager, then with the VP for Dev. I think everything went fine until HR wanted to have a copy of my payslip before they make the final offer. How offending could that be?

At that time, my pay had already been restructured (thank God!) to reflect the acceptable market rate for my experience & skills (acc to HR) so I got a considerable increase. I also increased my asking rate, knowing that they don't pay OT and the workhours are very long and the workload demanding. Maybe they didn't believe me. But I got so turned off that I kept ignoring my nice ex-PM's effort to talk to me. Ayaw ko ng mapasubo.

Sooooo, I was stuck with Smart. Why did I even contemplate leaving? I felt unappreciated by my own group head, that the interfacing manager was picking on me, that I was less of a person because I do not understand SAP the way a developer understands it, that what I do is just the "bullshit" part. Even with all the snags, I tried appreciating the world I was in. There were snags along the way, but hey, that's life. It's not perfect, and it's often not fair. But it's the only one I've got. So taking things as they come, I felt more at peace with myself. Maybe I was expecting too much of myself.

And then I was informed early this September, that I was being upgraded to "Sr. Software Devt Analyst". The title doesn't really matter to me. But the validation of the hard work & the crap & bullshit I had to take made feel better. Being the realistic & pragmatic person that I am, I wasn't exactly thrilled about the upgrade. Things at work will be the same. I'm guessing now that it might get more demanding because people are expecting more from me. But what the heck...

I can't say the same is true for the way I feel about my salary. I can't wait to see my new payslip! Fervently crossing my fingers that the increase will be substantial. (Yelp!) When I see my new pay, I will start thinking again about leaving for Singapore. So far there are 3 things that will affect my decision:
1) the pay there is twice my pay here
2) I want to experience living in a different country for once & be independent from anybody, including Bucky
-i have to do this before getting married, which will be in the next 3 years max. so if i plan to live abroad for 2 yrs, I need leave next year)
3) the risk of losing Bucky

So far, I'm still torn between what I want and what I fear will happen if I leave. Bucky said himself that I shouldn't live in fear of things that are yet to happen. I shouldn't live in fear of losing him.

I have 6 more months to think about these. And so we shall see.

PUTIPOT Island!

I was finally able to go to Putipot Island last Aug21. It was a long weekend in honor of Ninoy's Death. Bucky, Eric, Melissa, and I decided to celebrate it in Putipot. As if.

The only bad thing was the weather. It was rainy & gloomy. But even that didn't stop us. Eric wanted to get out of the city also (but that's another story).

We left Manila at 11pm and arrived at Candelaria, Zambales at around 3am. We checked in at Dawal Beach Resort (0919-5730952. For other resorts, click Zambales resorts), slept till 8am and headed for the island around 9am.

Putipot is a very small island. You can walk the whole shoreline in less than 30 minutes. We took it for more than 30 minutes, stopping to photograph anything: fallen tree trunks, coconut trees, rocks, flowers, bugs, what-have-you using my new water+ shockproof Olympus SW720. The trip to Putipot was its debut. I could only pray that it was indeed waterproof. Thank God, it was.

Our lunch was cold & greasy grilled liempo, chicken adobo, eggs, softdrinks, and beer. Da best. Kahit ma-sebo. The rain kept interrupting our meal. We had to stop when it rains kasi nagkakasabaw ang pagkain. However, the rain did not stop us from enjoying the greasy meal. Si Melissa ang pinaka-huling natapos. Buuurp.

At about 3pm, the bangkero arrived to pick us up. Our visit was short, and a little uneventful, but I had a great time. "Uneventful" in a beach was what i needed.

If i could just go to Putipot every weekend...






At Dawal Beach resort in Candelaria

Blogging

I finally figured how to expand the text width of this frigging blog. It took me so long, thanks to my web page writing illiteracy. Am vowing to start learning HTLM-reading/writing. There's a cheap reference book worth P395 only.

On to some other things...

I'm finally out of the cold-flu zone for this year. Was bedridden for 2 weekends, 2 workdays, and went to office wheezing & sneezing and feeling down right rotten. I couldn't take the day off because I don't want colleagues to think that I always succumb to minor illnesses. Heck, if I can just tell them all to fuck off. While I'm out of the zone, others are just getting into it: Paula, Collie, Bucky (just got well mid-week). I sympathize.

After almost a month after I bought my scanner, I''m almost done scanning all of my college pictures. Here are some samples:

Freshman CERSA Open House














Subic

Puerto

I posted all my college pix at http://admu2000.multiply.com

How I miss the carefree days of college. When the only complications in life included the lack of allowance, where to watch a movie or have a drink or rather drinksss without worrying about the hangover until your head is pounding the next day, the next paper to be submitted, the finals you haven't quite studied for yet miraculously passed, the 730AM classes, your crush, and all those other stuff you took for granted.

If I could go back to college, I would.

*sigh*

My new baby!



It finally got delivered last night. Thanks to Daddyo who was very patient with me. He was with me all thru out the "labor pains". Hahha.

Here as some of its some sweeeet features:

> shock proof (up to 1.5 m) - perfect for accidental bumps in the bangka, the table, bag, etc
> water proof (up to 3 m) - perfect for the beach, rainy days, wet fingers, snorkelling!
> 7.1 megapix (!)
> large LCD
> close up w/o blurring
> high speed sequential shooting

I LOVE IT!

If it's bought here, the unit costs P30,000.

But in Singapore, it only costs SGD700, which is about P23,300.00. And to top that, Daddyo got me a great deal! The SGD700 includes a 1GB XD card, XD card reader, and a leather case, and a generic extra battery, which totals to about P5-6,000.00.

Isn't that a great deal.

Reminiscing...



I bought a scanner for, what else, scanning all hardcopy images that I have collected over the years. Ever since I left college (which was 6 yrs + 5 months ago), I've wanted to organize my photos into a nice album. I only went halfway, because I found it too tiring.

Now, circa 2006, with all the advances in technology (which eventually led to prices of electronic stuff going down), I've decided to scan them instead and post it in my Multiply site.

Why? Because I want to share the photos. To everybody. Let the pictures be in the internet. One of these days, people that I've been with, new friends, old friends, lost friends, family, will see these pictures and remember that we've once been together, no matter how fleeting or ordinary. And then hopefully, they'll want to remember other friends they haven't seen or talked to in a while.

Then you get a warm feeling knowing that you've had friends, that you've lost them, that you can get in touch again.

All my college pix are in http://admu2000.multiply.com
All my post-college pix are in http://januskbm.multiply.com

Welcome, Baby Alan Rafael!



Another baby is introduced to the world. And one that came from someone I actually know. It's overwhelming. It made me face a reality that I can actually be pregnant and give life to another human being.

Another human being. Yaiks.

We bought baby clothes. What fun. I guess I can handle being pregnant if I can go shopping every time I get depressed, pre- or post-partum. Hahaha.

LETTING GO

The fist step to letting go is accepting the mistake. Whether the other party or one's own, it has to be acknowledged.

My mistake has been being too short-sighted. And selfish.

I was too intent on my pain that I refused to think about what the other person was feeling. For all I knew, the other person's pain was far greater than mine.

And so I have to forgive myself and let go. We make mistakes. But life goes on. We carry on. Hopefully becoming better persons because of our mistakes.

Hopefully.

NOT-SO-VITAL STATISTICS

I have gained soooooooo much weight. I'm bursting out of my jeans, shirts, undies, and what-have-you. And i refuse to shop for new clothes as it will not motivate me to force myself to fit into my now-tight wardrobe. I need the motivation. I need to lose weight. FAST.

So, starting this week, I tried a modified South Beach-Oprah diet: less carbs/starches and more lean meat, fish, and veggies. I'm mortified to be without fruits, so I still eat fruits daily. My current favorite is half-pineapple sprinkled with a little salt.

Also starting this week, I did at least 30-minute cardio exercises everyday. I only rested last Thursday. But I walked from the office all the way home, which is a 30-minute walk, so I guess that counted.

I've also made a promise to myself that my measurements would go down. So here's the baseline (never mind that the whole cyberworld will be privy to such private details. Nonetheless, like I said, I need the motivation. This shall keep me in line:

Left Right
Upper Arm 11 " 11" ----------> problem area!!!
Lower Arm 9.5" 9.5"
Upper Thighs 21" 21.5" ---------> problem area!!!
Lower Thighs 17.5" 17.5"
Calves 13.4" 13"

Waist 27"
Navel 30"
Lower Abdomen 33.2" -----------> problem area!!!!
Hips/Ass 35.5"

Weight 120 lbs ---------> problem area!!!


Inches were added to practically every part of my body. Except my frigging boobs. Oh well, they're God's gifts, so might as well be happy.

Will be checking next week if there is any progress. If none, I'll be forced to resort to appetite-reducing-metabolism-accelerator pills. I swear.

I am a woman with a mission.

Disappointments

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Just half into the year, and it is already riddled with disappointments:

A friend has deeply hurt me. And I have deeply hurt her.
My trip to SG was cancelled.
I did not get the post I felt I deserved to get.

There are some things I was in control. Others, most, I did not. And so I sulk here. Feeling the pain and loss. Hoping that in letting myself go through this, things will pass. Just like everything else.

im trying to live with disappointments and the thought and guilt that i've hurt some people i love. some things are hard to forget. some things are forever lost.

But i try to see what i still have and be happy.

I've still got Bucky and his love,
my family,
my friends and their support in believing that I didn't deserve to be hurt.

I still have my life and a chance to prove myself.

Atenista! *BLAG* (plagiarized -and some- from Mac’s blog)

This brought a wave of nostagia.

When we were young and carefree, OK lang mag-cut, masaya kahit walang pera o kotse o kahit nasa OM lang or nasa pool dahil sobrang init sa dorm, maglalasingan kahit di na makatayo or may pasok o paper due kinabukasan at umuwi sa dorm sa kalagitnaan ng madaling araw, manilip sa cervini for that certain cute guy using binoculars, maligo sa ulan, maligo sa covered courts kasi walang tubig sa dorm, makakuha ang 10/100 sa Math11, manligaw, maligawan, magmahal, masaktan, tumawa, malito, umiyak at matumba pero ok lang, find true friends, bumangon, mag-graduate na luhuan sa tuwa at sa lungkot...

the best 4 years of my life.

As an Atenenean (pronounced by the soe-sy ones and mocking ones as Arnean), I:

(X) eat at Manang’s - Pork chop! + magic suka (still mysterious up to this day) + patis = yum, nothing like it. Soup of the day – Munggo! I crave for these even after 6 years of officially saying goodbye

(X) learn the alma mater song - We stand on a hill…. Mary for your white & blue…Win or lose, it’s the school we choose!

( ) get on the dean’s list - Almost. 0.03 shy from that coveted academic distinction. If not for Caballa’s C+ (I think). Grrr..

( ) lie down and sleep on a bench along EDSA walk - why sleep on the bench when my bed and the lulling sound of the archaic electric fan are beckoning me from the dorm????

( ) be a TNT! - Never been a TNT for the college ACP, but was a CERSA-Orientation-Manila-Tour Guide.

(X) jog around the campus in the evening - and get swallowed up by the thick fog/smog surrounding the campus sometime February 1997

( ) visit the art gallery - we had one? Joke. Never been there. Too creepy for me.

(X) know at least one xerox lady, manong, or technician by name - shux, I forgot their names. But I called all the xerox ladies by “Ate”. Ehehe.

( ) get a Jesuit for a teacher - nope… too bad

( ) itch from higad bites - thank God, I didn’t make “tambay” in the quad!

(X) have gotten an F in something - Math 11 with Capistrano. It was a very humbling & terrible experience. But it taught me a lot.

(X) have taken a crap in school - In the dorm, which in the school grounds…

(x) watch a La Salle vs. Ateneo UAAP game - Of course. Win or lose!

(X) give a powerpoint presentation--never-ending…

( ) study in the Caf Upstairs - too noisy

(X) watch a T.A. play - Usually for philo papers…

(X) sit on the SEC ledge and watch the stars - And the sacred heart hill (which is no more), and the Bel field, and the football field, and the Eagle’s point (?)

(X) eat in Full House, Martha’s Kitchen, and Ken Afford - crispy pata, sylvannas, chopseuy, and the ever loyal Manong (who was still there even after I graduated. I think these 3 restos are not in Katipunan, or anywhere for that matter, anymore. How sad.

(X) sleep in the lib – oh yes, libreng aircon and peace and quiet. Libre din ang backpains

(x) visit Mr. San Andres---hhhmmmm…

(X) go to the chapel - constantly praying for strength & determination, so that I don’t get burned out or have a nervous breakdown, at least not before I graduate; thanking God for the great opportunity He has given me.

(X) have gotten a pebble stuck in your shoe/slippers in the middle of the quad - syempre, uso pa ang Birks and cute socks then. Pebbles tend to be attracted to those…

(X) cut class with your block to watch a movie -- Cut class. Period.

(X) sign up for those institutional (i.e. difficult but brilliant) teachers: Ferriols, Dacanay, David, Manacsa, Ang, Escaler, Arcilla, Totanes, and many others - Totanes was the best History prof I ever had. He had to crunch in 2 classes in one time slot. Imagine us, close to 50 in a classroom with sliding walls. Fun!
(X) go to CERSA night - But of course.

(X) have eaten siomai rice - rice, rice, rice, rice…

(X) learn how to smoke - when I was about to have a nervous breakdown (which was often as the skill of cramming was perfected during college), I would puff (more like hit-hit-buga) while staring blankly OM. but never became a serious smoker, thank God.

(XXX) fall in love - With the greatest love(r) of my life.

(X) actually read the book you keep borrowing from the lib -but I can’t remember the title.

( ) play cards during your free timeI slept. - My bed was only a few buildings away. --- Amen!!!

(X) dress in business attirefor all those business/case/defense presentations. - Looking great but feeling like a zombie due to lack of sleep and overdose in caffeine

(X) learn to stay awake for more than 24 hours straight - DEFENSE.

( ) have gotten side comments from ASSOC - I didn’t care. I pretended they didn’t exist.
(X) take (and enjoy) Saturday classes - and 730 am at that!!!! Cruelty.

(x) go to your immersion - Urban poor. My pillow was getting drenched because of the leak in the roof, and I couldn’t move because I was sharing the bed with another immersee. Depressing.

(X) eat Food for Thought sandwiches - Ham and egg (as in sunny-side up) + P12 bottomless iced tea

(X) get a boyfriend/girlfriend

(X) take time to read the vandalism in the CR doors - Oh yes, esp the lib CR ones.... quite entertaining hehehehehe. --- I 2nd the motion.

(x) watch “Minsan Lang Sila Bata” and “Macho Dancer” for class - “Minsan lang sila bata”

(X) ate at a food fair - just to eat something different from the usual caf food

(X) do a last minute paperlike I said, skills in cramming and procrastination are perfect during college.

( ) have spent a lot for 1x1 ID pictures - Not really. More like grad pix.

(X) get exempted from final exams - History, philo, film theory

(X) attend a college mass - as if we could avoid it…

(X) promise to quit smoking

(X) play hide-and-seek in the mini-forest - and the whole campus as well. College people are scared of the school after dark. We, dormers, always wonder why…

(X) know where the best restrooms are on campus - During the years ending in 2000, those were the Lib, SS and SEC. --- true, true.

(X) join an org - CERSA, MISA, ACP Log Comm, ACMG

(X) allow yourself to make mistakes

(X) take summer classes - required. Either I take summer classes or extend 1 sem. Spanish at 2pm. Murder.

(X) admire the sacred heart statue in the evening - with the shadows of Jesus, melding into shadows that form the face of Mary. Some people find it creepy. I find it comforting.

(X) make a video for a project - video + some major ME elective. Bad idea. Good thing, we still passed, through sheer force and will power, I think…

( ) have a crush on a teacher - nope. But I’ve seen a lot of teachers (both male and female) get crushes on their students. Much to the chagrin for the rest of us normal beings.

( ) attend a Jesuit retreat (a must for everyone) - my 4 whole years in Ateneo was a very long retreat. Standing on the hill, and all that…

( ) have gotten a parking ticket - first, the car. Which was non-existent.

(X) come to school in your crappiest yet most comfy clothes - like everyday?

(X) learn how to use the Bayantel pay phones - just so I can call home and tell my folks that I’m still breathing despite being neck-deep with deadlines

(X) participate in school activities - Rallies, NAMFREL, blue roast, etc…

(x) catch the Blue Babble Battalion tryouts - that's Entertainment.

(X) date an Atenean - and his whole box-out team

(X) ride a tricycle on campus - Comm to Bel at 3pm during El Niño summer, are you kidding me???????

(X) find a tambayan (Soc Sci 4-eva, pubroom, Comm Dep) - the dorm was the best tambayan. I can be in my undies and just-woken up hair and nobody notices. Heaven.

(X) admire the marikina valley at night - Every night. So many couples have come together and said goodbye in this spot.

(X) go drinking along Katipunan - every Friday and Saturday. Like clockwork. Drink to the brink at Tias, pre & post grad gulps at Gills? Kung wala pa ang allowance, sa MJD.

(X) learn how to beg for a higher grade - Never.

(X) use your cuts wisely - Just cut. Period.

( ) volunteer to be class beadle - NO, I will not be a slave and teacher’s pet.

(X) had the worst lottery schedule for reg - Thus, I got Mariano for Philo, which turned to be a blessing; got Capistrano AGAIN for an ME elective, which turned out OK because my Math 11 grade turned out OK.

(X) admire the trees on campus - Everyday. Yep, everyday. Even during summer, with all the fiery red blossoms.

(X) have forgotten about your free cut and gone to that class - at least malapit lang ang dorm.

(X) eat in the ISO canteen - para lang di ako kumain sa Cervini Caf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( ) be active in your org - I was neck-deep with CERSA, that I just existed as a member (in paper) in my other college orgs.

( ) have signed up on an ACP class just because the girl or guy u like signed up for it - Nope…

(X) get as many app forms as you can during the job fair - Like it helped.

(X) learn how to cram - Inevitable.

(X) sell tickets (or watch) an org-sponsored movie premiere - OO NAMAN. LECHENG CABLE GUY. --- Korek!

(X) save money to Xerox all of your seatmate’s notes - I think I made my own notes. Helped me memorize all that had to be memorized.

( ) have accidentally seen a make-out session - damn, I missed out on this… pero I’ve heard. And not accidentally. Thanks to the very masugid Blue Guards.

(X) check out the Meron Lagoon and Lambingan Bridge - Site of many an Eliazoan's debut, etc. etc.

(X) have dozed off in class in Bel right after a class in CTC/SOM/Comm. Bldg or vice-versa - Spanish class. Summer. 2pm. I slept right through my C+.

(X) learn how to work with groupmates from hell - Group mates???? What groupmates?????

( ) perfect the art of parking on campus - Park what?

( ) had a bad encounter with one of the guards on campus - They’re usually nice to girls, so I wouldn’t know.

(X) develop a love for sisig - I never new this kind of artery-clogging dish existed before I came to ADMU…

(x) learn how to pronounce “AEGIS” properly

( ) have used typing rooms at the library - Typing rooms?

(X) have reserved a classroom, AVR, etc. for a class or org function

( ) have asked the library for an endorsement to research in other libraries

(X) have lost a perfectly functioning umbrella

(X) have used consultation hours properly - for Philo, ME/CS electives

(X) Looked forward to lab breakage refund, in case you didn’t break any equipment - Oh yes! Lab breakage fee & dorm breakage fee. Of course, Mom and Dad didn’t know about this.

(X) visit the Guidance Officerequired and for processing of a horrendous “slashing accident” of a friend.

(X) and Infirmary - I constantly had psycho-somatic bowel disorders, so…

(X) learn to swear in different dialects - LINTE!

(X) ran in the rain (even storm) without a care in the world.

OLYMPUS 720SW: My new Obsession



"obsession" - ob·ses·sion; Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety. A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.

in my case, obsession because I still don't have the damn thing. I'm so in love with this camera. It's shock & water proof. Perfect for someone like me who loves the outdoors and the sea.

If I could just convince myself that it's worth buying. NOW NA...

To buy:
1) It's a damn sweet camera!
2) Personal reward for all the hardwork, for swallowing corporate bullshit for the past 6 years . I haven't actually bought something "big" for myself, except for my new cellphone now (which was subsidized, so it doesn't count. hehe.) and shoes. Travels are exempted. "Big" means more than P15K.
3) I can actually spare some dough for this cam.
4) I just want to have it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not to buy:
1) I don't really need it. Besides, I can borrow VC's camera according to Bucky
2) I can use the money to invest in property.
3) I can share the money with my loved ones (esp Onchie and Bucky)
4) I use the money for travelling
5) I can use the money to save up for a car or a laptop or something else "bigger" that I don't really need.

So I guess, I'm buying it. =D

It's just a matter of When - Around end of June or early July
Where - Singapore c/o Daddyo. If I were to buy it in SG, it's P6K cheaper and the freebies are awesome (extra battery, card reader, extra XD card) worth around P3-5K.

[I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it. I'm buying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.
bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored. bored.

When things don't work out...

Smile.
Breathe.
Get a facial and a one-hour full-body massage.
Eat 1 pint of Hagen Dazz Strawberry Cheesecake icecream.
Shop in Divisoria!!!!
Buy faux snake skin hot shorts.
Shop some more.
Get a sexy tanline.
Get a new, funky hairstyle.
Get a new petty, cuttie crush.
Giggle.
Cuddle.
Laugh.
Go to the gym and sweat it out.
Shed pounds.
Laugh some more.
Think: "God's love is greater than my disappointments, and His plans better than my dreams"
Then GET BACK ON TRACK.

T E A M F U S I O N !!!!!



After 10 years, I got to experience how it was to be in a team and game playing a championship match. Loved every moment of it. I think our best game was semi-finals against UP. 5 sets at kami ang naghahabol. During the 5th set, UP was always up by one point. The score slid twice at 14 and 15. We finally got one good offense and 1 block that sealed our victory. Grabe, ang saya.

Pictures here were taken from our championship game against CSB (Benilde). 4 sets lang, panalo na kami. Mejo anti-climactic, but nonetheless a good game.

We won P4K worth of Mizuno products. Can't wait for the next season. Defending Champs!

YM status: "emotional rollercoaster ride..."

1) going to singapore - di ko sure kung may mahahanap nga akong work dun, so parang depressed ako kasi, di natupad ung gusto ko
2) if i find work there, iiwanan ko si Bucky. it's going to be hard for both of us and i have to handle that. i know na he will resent me for going and i have to accept it
3) pay adjustment-it seems that things are better for the meantime. pero how long will this last???
4) i've finally reconnected with my other friends, like sa volleyball. i've found a new group of friends who share my interest. parang ngayon lang kami nag-gel, tapos aalis ako. sayang din.
5) i want to stay with Smart pero ayaw ko ng ka-work ung team na ka-work ko ngayon. pero mahirap lumipat...

An insincere friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an insincere friend will wound your soul.

~ Buddha

“The waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing, and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well. "
— Mary Cholmondeley

Buying an IPOD? Think again...

Hello to all would-be buyers of IPOD MP3 players. I’d like to share something about an after-sales policy of these products.

Did you know that when an IPOD konks out after its warranty period you cannot have it repaired, UNLESS the problem is only the battery? So if the IPOD dies because of other reasons, like the software/hardware crash/defective LCD/buttons or whatever, it CANNOT BE REPAIRED. Actually, it can be repaired… in the US only.

I just recently discovered this because my brother’s IPOD, which is 1.5 years old, suddenly had a stroke and wouldn’t restart. I had it received at the Apple Center in Power Plant and they told me what I’m telling you now. I can understand this if the IPOD got wet or fried or electrocuted. But other than these, I don’t this it’s acceptable that the product is irreparable.

So if you’re buying an IPOD, make sure it konks out within a year. Otherwise, parang nagtapon ka lang ng P15,000-20,000 thousand. [well, unless it’s easy for you to have an extra P15-20K every year…]

If you’re still buying, verify the after-sales/service terms. And pray that I’m wrong.

=)

OBSESSED???????????????

OF COURSE NOT.

i just need closure. and i will do it myself. soon.

HEAR WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. I

f a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. (Hahahaha!)

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary... not supplementary.

Dating is fun... even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man. D

on't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Halleluya!

As an full-grown adult, responsible, and attached (but not married) woman, I finally experienced the dread that most of us (at least my kind) feel when the hormones go haywire and the monthly female discomfort doesn't arrive. I suddenly found myself wishing, praying for THAT discomfort.

I didn't go to the doctor or do any tests as I was confident that it would arrive any day soon. But I was mistaken. When things like these happen, one is pushed to think or say, "Crap, what the fuck will I do with this???". And I did just that. It made me think of how my life and my priorities would change, and how it will affect my relationship with Bucky, my parents, my friends, my relatives.

Though I had so many fears (i actually remember trembling sometimes because of the uncertainty), it is not so tragic for me anymore. If I were in this situation 2 or 3 years ago, I would've felt dead with worry and panic. Now, I could financially support myself and a child. I have a fairly decent job, and I think I already have the skills of a mother.

But am I ready? For the whole shebang?

My gut-feel was, and still is: I am not. I still want to work abroad, shop and travel for myself without feeling guilty, drink and smoke sometimes, do whatever and whenever I like without any responsibilities. I am not ready to give up my shallow independence.

But will one ever be ready for these things? When can a person say that he's ready for parenthood and a lifelong commitment and responsibility. A parent cannot retire, as long as the chilren are alive, there's always looking and worrying after. I guess one can be ready financially, and to some extent psychologically. But we can never really know unless it already there staring at you in the face. Maybe that's how we get our dysfunctionality. Our parents always has some reservation about having us, and yet there is no other morally-correct choice but ... to have us. We just need to do our best and pray that we don't raise socio-psychopaths. I think I'm ready to cut my folks some slack. They had it harder.

So, I was in this quandary, when finally, one cold morning, my monthly visitor came. I've never been so happy. When I finally told Bucky, he was very much relieved (though he wanted to punch me because I made a joke about it- that I was on the way).

Im sort of thankful that this happened. It made me realize a lot of things. Like being more careful next time. =D

"It is only prudent never to place complete confidence in that by which we have even once been deceived."
- Rene Descartes (1596-1650), "Meditations"

THE WEDDING DATE Quotable Quotes:

1)

I just... I wanted to say thank you for not outing me in front of Ed.

I want to tell him, just not the night before our wedding.You know, with these things, timing is everything.

You're right. You shouId time it right, so that when he hears that you repeatedIy screwed his best friend,he won't feeI llke the worId is collapsing and there's no escape because you tricked him into marrying you.

- Kat...
- Don't worry. Your wedding wllI be perfect.

Tomorrow I'll say all the right things and you'll deaI with Ed when you're ready.

But right now, tonight, I'm not going to pretend it's OK.

-----------------

2) ''Every woman has the exact Iove llfe she wants.'' --- by hook or by crook!!!

"You must act in your friend's interest whether it pleases him or not; the object of love is to serve, not to win" - Woodrow Wilson

The last quarter of 2005 was a roller coaster ride. And most of it revolved around a recurring theme which doesn't really concern me, but has deeply affected me. To this day, it still causes me sadness. But then again, it's not my life to lead, not my mistake to commit, not my stupidity to regret.

But I digress.

Looking back at the past year, I could definitely say that it was a much better year, in terms of work. I gained the weight that I lost at this time last year [after i just quit AIU]. Too much weight, in fact, that most of my clothes are Tight. notice the capital "T". Signs of a good year. I was able to manage my work-related stress better, albeit i had to manage a different kind of stress as compared to the time when i was in AIU. I still don't know which one I'd choose: AIU or Smart. I dunno. Can i just be a housewife instead? Harhar! Joke!

I've also been talking to Bucky about my plans of going to Singapore next year. I think it hit him hard knowing that I could really be leaving so soon. Whenever we discuss this, he either pretends he doesnt care ("Bahala ka...") or he tells me not to go. But lately, i think, he's more open to the idea. I think he knows that I need this. I'm also scared that we won't be able to stand the stress of long distance relationship, or that we'll find other partners, or that the love will just die out because of not being together. But then again, i don't want that as my reason for staying, that i'll stay just because of fear. I know that if I sacrifice not going to Singapore for the sake of preserving my relationship with Bucky, I will have regrets. And at some point in my life, when I've settled down with him, i will lash out at him because of those regrets. Ayoko naman ng ganun.

Going back to my main topic: "You must act in your friend's interest whether it pleases him or not; the object of love is to serve, not to win"... Someone dear to me, almost like the sister I never had, is walking into a kind of life that I know is going to be full of pain. Because of some things that were unexpected (but a blessing nonetheless), she's so intent on her decision. i've asked her to think about things because this one decision will affect her future life's happines, and 2 other people. I've already been part of the life she wants to take. I know what could happen. Hay, its unfair to always compare her future to the life that I had. But she wouldn't lose anything if she'll think about what I told her.

It's so hard to be scared for someone else. But then again, it's not my life to lead, not my mistake to commit, not my stupidity to regret. So I let it go. I've helped her in the best way I can. I hope she doesn't resent me for almost crossing the border of being mean.

I have a knack for feeling "what will most likely happen". I've proven it so many times since i was a child. Call it superstition, but I listen to my gut. And right now, my gut is telling me that she should be more discerning on what she should do and what is best for her. Despite that, I sincerely hope she'll be happy, and that i'll be proven wrong. i'll be gladly proven wrong on this one. For her sake.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

"You must act in your friend's interest whether it pleases him or not; the object of love is to serve, not to win"
- Woodrow Wilson

"Don't let anyone rob you of your imagination, your creativity, or your curiosity. It's your place in the world; it's your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live. "

— Mae Jemison

"It is impossible to fall out of love. Love is such a powerful emotion, that once it envelops you it does not depart. True love is eternal. If you think that you were once in love, but fell out of it, then it wasn't love you were in. There are no 'exit' signs in love, there is only an 'on' ramp."

~ Anonymous ~

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
Author: Ambrose Bierce

Quiet Desperation 2

Another piece from my work-angsty-BF:

"Aspice, officio fungeris sine spe honoris amplioris"

It means -- Face it, you're stuck in a dead end job.

A lot of Generation X' ers can fully grasp the meaning of this statement. Its as though you were hit by a rock or you urinated after holding it for a few hours. The sudden physical impact causes a jolt of existential awarness, so to speak. The sudden pain or pleasure makes you realize that you are still alive! Unfortunately, however, realizing that you exit, you start to ask yourself . . . What am I doing here? Squeezing the depths of your awarness, you find no answer. It is as though the answer does not come in one sitting but in stages. It may be a process. Who knows?

For now, I find solace in the fact that sometimes (not all the time) in my vocation, I become an instrument of God's justice, in man's feeble attempt to emulate with god-like precision,by casting upon his fellow man the rewards for doing what's right and the burden for doing what's wrong.

Quiet Desperation

Bucky has been working for almost 2 years now. Like most of us, the 2nd year of working in the corporate world really takes a toll on one's psyche. On my second year, I remember feeling trapped, feeling scared to quit my job to look for a new one, feeling insecure & so unsure of my skills and even myself. It was on the 2nd year when I began to seriously think of finding a new job. It was delayed for a year, until finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I guess this is true for most of my batchmates. Either they stayed on with same company but moved to a different position or group, or really moved to another company, another industry, another country. Very few of us were lucky to succeed in the field of our passion. I'm not one of them.

Anyway, here is what Bucky has to say:

"Living the life of quiet desperation, amidst the monotony and drudgery of daily existence, man in his search for meaning can only hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel and the rains will come though the sun is scorching. And so, as I, more appropriately as we, the citizens of the this earth, go about our usual grind, we should always remember that every thought, word or action can change our world forever. Unfortunately, however, we have to change ourselves first.

Remember that biatch!"

Hope this message will enlighten you – God bless you!

"Every day should be a good day and you should live it like it's your last. Some people live a life of anger, frustration, pain, jealousy, and/or dishonesty, but all of these things will come to pass when your time here is over. Just take a moment to think, we will not be on this earth forever.

One day, we will not have to worry about going to work or how we will make our car payment. We will not have to worry where our next meal will come from, or how we can buy that beautiful house. At anytime, God could take us off of this earth, so you should appreciate today and not worry about tomorrow, for nobody knows what tomorrow will bring.

When you wake up each morning, thank the Lord for waking you up. When you lie down to sleep at night, thank the Lord for another day. If you have a job, thank the Lord for your place of employment. Ask that He may bless you in everything that you do. Ask Him to give you the knowledge and the wisdom to do your job. If you don't have a job, thank Him anyway. Ask him to direct you to the job that is right for you. When you are eating breakfast, lunch or dinner, say a prayer. Thank the Lord for providing food and nourishment to your body. If you are healthy, thank the Lord for the health and strength in your body. If you aren't, thank Him anyway for life, and ask Him to heal your body. So the next time that you get mad, think twice. The next time you complain about something at your job, think twice. T

he next time you say you wish you had steak instead of chicken, think twice. Be thankful for what you have, and the life that God has given you. Pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Be sincere, as God knows whether or not we mean it from the heart. Help those in need as a gift from your heart, and not so you can get a pat on the back. Put forth the extra effort in everything that you do. Go after what you want in life, and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals. No matter how perfect you think you are, there is always room for improvement, and an opportunity for you to do better. If you are depressed, don't cry just hold your head up and the Lord will help you through.

Pray and ask the Lord to deliver you from your state of depression. Whatever it is that you are depressed about, God will take that pain from your heart. It may not be at that moment, or that next hour, or maybe not even the next day, but He WILL do it if you just believe in Him. God may not show up when YOU want Him to, but He's ALWAYS right in time. God will not give us more than we can bear. Sometimes He will present us with issues that will test our faith, but you have to be strong enough to believe that God will do exactly what He says.

The message for today is to praise the Lord, have faith in the Lord, give thanks to the Lord, and live every day like it is your last. Theoretically speaking, if the Lord never does anything else for us, other than wake us up each day, put food in our mouths and clothes on our backs, we should thank Him anyway. He died so that we could have life on this earth. "

--- Anonymous ---

AMORE.

"..love is passion, obsession, someone you cant live w/out. If you dont start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels, find someone you can love like crazy & who'll love you the same way back. and how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart..Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back..the truth is there is no sense living your life w/out this. To make the journey & not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived at all.."

Before getting hurt, before taking the risk, it has to be someone who'll love you the same way back, not someone who'll treat you like a doormat.

Amen.

While waiting for my ride...

this afternoon, my boss, my teammate and I hid in a mini-conference room to discuss the demise of my teammate. She's been contemplating resigning for a long time now but I didn't expect that it would be this soon. something must have irritated her today that sparked her head off. i told her to think it over. she might be making a rash decision.

i guess i have worked for so long that i don't let the little things get to me. Manhid na ako. Well, I guess, it's really a series of disappointments that build up and finally make me realize that I'm already miserable.

Bucky said that one should use one's "miserable-ness" when deciding to leave a job. He's right. Let's be realistic. Only so few of us are really happy with our work. I am lucky to have 1 such friend. but for most of us, it really is a drag. we complain every morning, waking up with heavy... everything, staring into the computer & pretending to work, never getting satisfied with the pay, with management, with almost everything. Well, if you're not doing what you love, wherever you work, no matter how much pay you get, work will always be as it is. A DRAG. so given that, decide to leave work when it has gone beyond the point of just being a drag. if you're utterly & totally miserable that you take unannounced leaves, you submit mediocre work, then leave. but if you can still take it, stay a while. things may get better, or your attitude may change, or until you become miserable.

whereever you go, make sure that it pays more than your previous job. it's the only sure thing about work that you can count on. don't get a pay cut, hoping that the work conditions are going to be better. No, you wouldn't know for sure if it really is better until you're inside. at some point or another, it's going to be the same corporate bullshit anyway. So count on something that is tangible at first hand, your PAY.

TOUGH LUCK for millions of us...

BLOGGING Anniversarry

3 years of blogging (sep2002 - sep2005)

- writing down useless thoughts, channeling excess energy, processing my psyche, adding garbage in the net.

long-live pyschopath bitches!!!!!!!!!!!! hurrah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Have a dream; have a plan; and take risks" - Simeon Manuel Paterno