Not-Just-Random-Thoughts

I had an exciting weekend. Details not be be disclosed. The events actually do not directly concern me but they have caused me to wonder on relationships, human weakness, & forgiveness. No, I didn't go to a bible seminar or something like that. Something happened that caused me to look into my own life & if I have the right to judge other people.

The single point of contention is INFIDELITY.

When I was younger, I would see it all the time in the TV, komiks, books... Always distant, but never directly experiencing it. Now that I'm in my mid-20s and my parents are going through midlife hell, I am thrown right in the middle of it. My dad had (or still has) an affair. It wrecked my mother (and she is still recovering even after 2 years of "reconciliation"), my brother's & my relationship with dad. It's a reality that is so destructive to the basic relationship between a man & a woman.

Or is it?

Maybe we have just been socialized to accept that infidelity is bad, that having only one "legal" life partner is the right thing? But isn't looking for someone who will love you, and you alone, a basic human need that pre-dates socialization?

I don't know. And nobody would have an answer, I guess.

As for me, I believe that infidelity only becomes destructive insofar as the infidel seeks out a real relationship with another person. Casual sex and one-night-stands don't count (as long as it doesn't develop into a relationship). If a relationship between the infidel & the other person grows, sentimentalities & attachments are created. Which fucks up everything. Just like what my father did.

I am affected so much by what happened this weekend because it hits so close to home. I may have not been cheated on, but I've had experienced first hand the destructive force of cheating. More so that it happened to my family (not just in a BF-GF relationship) where one cannot just cut off ties to start anew.

But then again, it's not my life. Even if I am affected, I don't have any say in the exciting events that transpired this weekend. I just hope that the people I care about don't get hurt as I was and don't sacrifice as much as I did.