HARANA...

Minsan, may isang dalaga. Nasa kolehiyo sya, second year. Kagagaling nya lang sa probinsya para sa pasko at bagong taon. At kaka-birthday nya lang din. Kaya nang mag-aya ang barkada nyang mag-ice cream sa Eagle’s park sa gitna ng baseball field, sumama sya. Kahit pa may kailangan syang tapusing program para kinabukasan.

Pagdating sa Eagle’s park, nandun din ang binatang nanliligaw sa kanya, kasama ang barkada.

Walang ice cream.

Pero may gitara at bulaklak. At isang lalaking namumutla sa kaba.

May kumanta at nagsimula na ang harana.

Napatigil ang dalaga. Napa-isip, “hindi na siguro nagbibiro ang kumag na ‘to. Nanginginig ang boses e. At nakakalimutan pa ang lyrics…”. Buti na lang sinasalo ng barkada nya.

Pagkatapos ng tatlong kanta, binigay ng binata ang bulaklak sa dalaga at nag-usap sila. Samantalang di matigil sa hagikhikan at tawanan ang kani-kanilang barkada.

Pagkatapos mag-picture-picture, umuwi na sila sa dorm.

Natapos ang harana nung malamig na gabing ‘yon.

Pero dun nag-simula ang lahat.

------ Circa Jan1998 ------

ang baduy. pero hayaan nyo na, minsan lang ako mag-senti…


HARANA
Parokya ni Edgar

uso pa ba ang harana
marahil ikaw ay nagtataka
sino ba 'tong mukhang gago
nagkandarapa sa pagkanta
at nasisintunado sa kaba

may'rong dalang mga rosas
suot na may maong na kupas
at naryan pa ang barkada
naka-porma't naka-barong
sa awiting daig pa ang minus one
at sing-along

puno ang langit ng bitwin
at kay lamig pa ng hangin
sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw
at sa awitin kong ito
sana'y maibigan mo
ibubohos ko ang buong puso ko
sa isang munting harana
para sa'yo

di ba parang isang sine
isang pelikulang romantiko
di ba't ikaw ang bidang artista
at ako ang 'yong leading man
sa istoryang nagwawakas
sa pag-ibig na wagas

puno ang langit ng bitwin
at kay lamig pa ng hangin
sa 'yong tingin ako'y nababaliw giliw
at sa awitin kong ito
sana'y maibigan mo
ibubohos ko ang buong puso ko
sa isang munting harana
para sa 'yo

Uso pa ba ang harana
Marahil ngayo'y alam mo na
Basta para sa 'yo aking hirang
Kahit na magmukhang hibang

Tutupdin ang lahat liyag
Pagka't ako'y iyong bihag
At mahal kita sinta….


ONLY YOU
The Platters

Only you can make this world seem right
Only you can make the darkness bright.
Only you and you alone
Can thrill me like you do
And fill my heart with love for only you.

Only you can make this change in me,
For it's true, you are my destiny.
When you hold my hand,
I understand the magic that you do.

You're my dream come true,
My one and only you.

One and only you.


FALLIN’
Teri de Sario

I'm afraid to fly
And I don't know why
I'm jealous of the people who
Are not afraid to die

It's just that I recall
Back when I was small
Someone promised
that they'd catch me
And then they let me fall

And now I'm fallin'
Fallin' fast again
Why do I always take a fall
When I fall in love

You think by now I've learned
Play with fire you get burned
But fire can be also warm
And that's why I return

Turn and walk away
That's what I should do
My head says go and find the door
My heart says I'll find you

And now I'm fallin', fallin’ fast again
Why do I always take a fall when I fall in love

It always turns out the same
Loving someone, losing myself
Only got me to blame

Help me im fallin fallin
Catch me if you can
Maybe this time I'll have it all
Maybe I’ll take it after all
Maybe this time I won’t fall
When I fall in love

NOT-SO-VITAL STATISTICS

I posted the entry below on Jul 7, '06 6:22 AM.

After 1 year, 1 month, and 20 days, I'm proud to say that I've finally achieved my ideal weight (operative word = "my"). Still working on the "statistics" though. Hahahaa.

What did I do?

- went to Singapore, hence, I stopped eating with BF (so hindi ko na sya sinasabayan)

- nakakatamad magluto for 1 person, so di na rin ako masyadong nagluluto (at kumakain) sa house ngayon

- commute and walk to work/home carrying 2 kilos-worth of laptop and kikay stuff for approx 2 hours a day

- less rice & carbs

- fruit or salad (no mayo) for dinner

- normal meal for lunch

- 1 piece of toast, with minimal spread, and 1 cup of non-fat milk for breakfast

Surprising results. And I didn't have to give up my once-a-month Ruffles and dark chocolate craving.

So kung gusto nyong pumayat, pumunta na rin kayong Singapore. Hahahaha!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOT-SO-VITAL STATISTICS

I have gained soooooooo much weight. I'm bursting out of my jeans, shirts, undies, and what-have-you. And i refuse to shop for new clothes as it will not motivate me to force myself to fit into my now-tight wardrobe. I need the motivation. I need to lose weight. FAST.

So, starting this week, I tried a modified South Beach-Oprah diet: less carbs/starches and more lean meat, fish, and veggies. I'm mortified to be without fruits, so I still eat fruits daily. My current favorite is half-pineapple sprinkled with a little salt.

Also starting this week, I did at least 30-minute cardio exercises everyday. I only rested last Thursday. But I walked from the office all the way home, which is a 30-minute walk, so I guess that counted.

I've also made a promise to myself that my measurements would go down. So here's the baseline (never mind that the whole cyberworld will be privy to such private details. Nonetheless, like I said, I need the motivation. This shall keep me in line:

Left Right
Upper Arm 11 " 11" ----------> problem area!!!
Lower Arm 9.5" 9.5"
Upper Thighs 21" 21.5" ---------> problem area!!!
Lower Thighs 17.5" 17.5"
Calves 13.4" 13"

Waist 27"
Navel 30"
Lower Abdomen 33.2" -----------> problem area!!!!
Hips/Ass 35.5"

Weight 120 lbs ---------> problem area!!!


Inches were added to practically every part of my body. Except my frigging boobs. Oh well, they're God's gifts, so might as well be happy.

Will be checking next week if there is any progress. If none, I'll be forced to resort to appetite-reducing-metabolism-accelerator pills. I swear.

I am a woman with a mission.

Your Zodiac Sign & Sex: which one are you?

Got this in my email. So funny! Who makes up this stuff???

Btw, I am a CAPRICORN. 24 years of bad luck? Madaya! Hence, this post. Ahahahaa!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SCORPIO:. The sex addict
Can be mean. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. Freak in bed. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring.
4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO:. The Virgin
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget. Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.
7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA:. The lame lover
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna #### with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible.
9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

ARIES:. The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to #### with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships. Addictive. Loud. best in bed.
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS:. Does it in the water
Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. Amazing in bed, THE BEST LOVERS, BETTER THAN EVERYONE!
2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

GEMINI:. Does Twosomes
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the #### out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE.
9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO:. The Lion in bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.
7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER:. The Cutie
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high ### appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.
12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES:. The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high ### appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.
5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN:. The passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible, awesome kisser. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. BY FAR the BEST in BED.
24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS:. The Tramp
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships.=] Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ........ Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to #### with. Are the most sexiest people on earth!
15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS:. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? Not the kind of person you wanna with you might end up crying.
4 years of bad luck if you do not Take time to Smile and Laugh!

I got this message from a dear friend. Though at first I thought it was more apt for what she's going through, I felt that the article hit me too.

Am I waiting? For what? To be ready? To grow up? I'm also waiting for an answer...

THE SACRAMENT OF WAITING
by James Donelan, SJ

The English poet John Milton once wrote that those who serve only stand and wait. I think I would go further and say that those who wait render the highest form of service. Waiting requires more self-discipline, more self-control and emotional maturity, more unshakeable faith in our cause, more unwavering hope in the future, more sustaining love in our hearts that the great deeds of derring-do that go by the name of action.

Waiting is a mystery – a natural sacrament of life – there is a meaning hidden in all the times we have to wait. It must be an important mystery because there is so much waiting in our lives.

Every day is filled with those little moments of waiting – testing our patience and our nerves, schooling us in self-control – We wait for meals to be served, for a letter to arrive, for a friend to call or show up for a date. We wait in line at cinemas and theaters, concert and circuses. Our airline terminals, railway stations and bus depots are great temples of waiting filled with men and women who wait in joy for the arrival of a loved one – or wait in sadness to saygoodbye and give that last wave of the hand. We wait for birthdays and vacations – we wait for Christmas. We wait for spring to come – or autumn – for the rains to begin or to stop.

And we wait for ourselves to grow from childhood to maturity. We wait for those inner voices that tell us when we are ready for the next stop. We wait for graduation, for our first job, our first promotion. We wait for success and recognition. We wait to grow up – to reach the stage where we make our decisions.

We cannot remove this waiting from our lives. It is part of the tapestry of living – the fabric in which the threads are woven that tells the story of our lives.

Yet the current philosophies would have us forget the need to wait, "grab all the gusto you can get." So read one of America's great beer advertisement – Get it now. Instant pleasure – Instant Transcendence. Don't wait for anything. Life is short – Eat, drink and be merry because tomorrow you'll die. And so they rationalize us into accepting unlicensed and irresponsible freedom – premarital sex and commitment – against expecting anything of anybody, or allowing them to expect anything of us – against vows and promises – against duty and responsibility – against dropping any anchors in the currents of our life that will cause us to hold and wait.

This may be the correct prescriptions for pleasure – but even that is fleeting and doubtful – what was it Shakespeare said about the mad pursuit of pleasure – "Past reason hunted, and once had, past reason hated". No if we wish to be real human beings, spirit as well as flesh, soul as well as heart, we have to learn to wait. For if not we never learn to love someone other than ourselves.

For most of all, waiting means waiting for someone else. It is a mystery, brushing by our face everyday like a stray wind or a leaf falling from a tree. Anyone who has ever loved knows how much waiting goes into it – how much waiting is important for love to grow – to flourish through a lifetime.

Why is this? Why can't we have right now what we so desperately want and need? Why must we wait – 2 years, 3 years, 5 years and seemingly waste so much time? You might as well ask why a tree should take so long to bear fruit – the seed to flower – carbon to change into diamond.

There is no simple answer – no more that there is to life's other demands – having to say goodbye to someone you love because either you or they have already made other commitments; or because they have to grow and find the meaning of their own lives – having yourself to leave home and loved ones to find your own path – Goodbyes, like waiting, are also sacraments of our lives.

All we know is that growth – the budding, the flowering of love needs patient waiting. We have to give each other time to grow. There is no way we can make someone else truly love us or we them, except through time. So we give each other that mysterious gift of waiting – of being present without making demands or asking rewards. But there is life in the gift we give.

So lovers wait for each other – until they can see things the same way – or let each other freely see things in quite different ways.

There are times when lovers hurt each other and cannot regain the balance and intimacy of the way they were. They have to wait – in silence – but still present to each other – until the pain subsides to an ache and then only a memory and the threads of the tapestry can be woven together again in a single love story.

What do we lose when we refuse to wait? When we try to find short cuts through life – when we try to incubate love and rush blindly and foolishly into a commitment we are neither mature nor responsible enough to assume? We lose the hope of ever truly loving, of being loved.

Think of all the great love stories of history and literature – Isn't it of their very essence that they are filled with this strange but common mystery – that waiting is part of the substance – the basic fabric – against which the story of that true love is written?

How can we ever either find life or true love if we are too impatient to wait for it?

FIRSTS & LASTS

so because of boredom, i have resorted to being attached to my laptop the whole morning just searching and reading about anything in cyberspace. i resolved to finish this online training for work, but the weather is so perfect for just chillin: rain, makulimlim, malamig... perfect reason to blend with the sheets.

the list below is one of the useless things i got from Friendster (thanks, Ellan), at dahil nga ayaw kong magtrabaho, i made my own list of firsts & lasts.

EVERYONE HAS THEIR FIRSTS:

1 FIRST REAL BEST FRIEND: Jocelyn, since we were 8 years old
2 FIRST "real" SCHOOL: Ateneo de Davao
3 FIRST CELL PHONE COLOR : blue & black
4 FIRST FUNERAL: that i can remember, Lolo Rufo, Delima partriarch
6 FIRST BIG TRIP: that i can remember, going to Manila na nakasakay sa plane. Grade4.
7 FIRST VACATION: same
8 FIRST CELEBRITY CRUSH: Antonio Banderas
9 FIRST TIME OUT: college na yata. manang at atleta ako nung high school. bawal inom.
10 FIRST JOB: "analyst" cum utusan
11 FIRST MYSPACE FRIEND: wala ko nun

EVERYONE HAS THEIR LASTS:

13 LAST PERSON YOU KISSED: BF (a fuckin month ago)
14 LAST CAR RIDE: last night via a cab
15 LAST TIME YOU CRIED: can't remember
16 LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED WITH YOURFRIEND: Simpsons!
17 LAST FOOD YOU ATE: 2 slices of bread
18 LAST THING BOUGHT: lunch yesterday
19 LAST SHIRT WORN: pambahay
20 LAST PHONE CALL: bucky's frantic phone call from Pinas, asking how to pay hsbc online
21 LAST TEXT MESSAGE: bucky, asking if i was already home from gimik
22 LAST THING YOU TOUCHED: the keyboard?
23 LAST TIME AT THE MALL: weekend
24 LAST TIME YOU WERE EXCITED FORSOMETHING: July28, when i went home
25 LAST PERSON YOU SAW: housemate ko na nanood ng tv
26 LAST THING YOU DRANK :- h2o
27 LAST PERSON THAT BROKE YOUR HEART: bucky
28 LAST TIME YOU WERE REALLY HONESTLYHAPPY: last weekend of July when i went home

TRUE or FALSE?
(from Raffy's bulletin. comment ko ung mga naka-italicize)

Girl facts:
When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile
When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand
When she wants a hug she will just stand there
When u break a girls heart she still feels it even when you see each other 3 years later (hindi lang 3 years...)
When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind (like cursing you, and beheading you with a butter knife)
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply
When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around (at iniisip: bakit ang tanga-tanga mo?)
When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine (thinking: punyeta, manhid ka ba?)
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games
When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future
When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that
When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back, but shes scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever

Guy Facts:
When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you
When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you (or he's asleep)...
When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong (or he's praying that you'll shut up)
When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes he means it
When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do (or you have something between your teeth and he's too embarrased to point it out)
When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world
When a guy calls/texts you every day, he is in love
When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it
When a guy says he can't live without you," he's with you till you're done
When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

BOREDOM...
is a STATE of MIND

Bakit nga ba ako bored? After 2 months, ngayon ko lang na-feel ang desperation ng boredom. Ang OA. But really, parang ang hirap mag-isip ng gagawin. I have things to do like offline research and study for work, errands, house chores, and all the admin stuff. But in terms of necessary activities for "self-actualization" like fun and leisure, parang wala akong magawa dito. I have so many books to read, but my A.D.D. strikes most of the time. I've started 4 books, and finished none yet so far. Gusto kong pumunta sa beach, pero ang pangit ng Sentosa. Tinatamad akong mag-plan for Bintan or Batam. I'm thinking of doing some athletic/sporty activities para na rin dual purpose: fun and health. Maybe biking or wall-climbing for starters. Para kahit ako lang mag-isa, masaya pa rin. Gen found a volleyball group with games every Sunday, so maybe that too. I'm still thinking if badminton is a sport for me. Boring kasi. Then maybe late this year, learn how to dive. And I need to plan my Euro-trip with Paula.

OK, brake muna. First things first. I need to organize & project manage my life: desired future state --> current state --> gap analysis --> measurable goals --> action items (take note of milestones, and status update every week)

Umandar ang pagka-OC. Pati buhay, ino-OC. Amen.

Sayad.

Cute...

got this from Paolo Dy's blog. Title: "Love & Friendship" in one photo

Ateneo survey of sorts

(grabbed from karla who grabbed from noel who grabbed from lala)

1. What's your ID number? nakalimutan ko na...

2. Passed or wait-listed? Passed

3. How did you know about the ACET results? We all went to the Guidance Counselor’s office

4. Was Ateneo your first choice? Yes (because of my mom). Then UP. I would’ve gone to UP also but my mom was scared that I’ll turn out an “aktibista”. So since my allowance was coming from her, I didn’t argue. It turned out for the best, I think.

5. Do you know what your ACET score is? I can’t remember. All I know is that my score was enough to be accepted in my first choice degree.

6. What course was your first choice? BS MIS

7. Second choice? BS MGT yata

8. Anong course mo ngayon? I got the BS MIS degree

9. Did you have any plans of shifting? No

10. Chinito/chinita ka ba? Chinita pero morena din.

11. Taga-Ateneo High? No girls allowed…

12. Did you have fun in your OrSem? It was fun at first, then it got very tiring…

13. Saang gate ka pumasok nung first day? I came from the Eliazo, feeling fresh and bagong ligo.

14. Are you staying/did you stay in a dorm? Yes, I did.

15. Ever had an F in your grade report? In my final grade, No. but yes in some of my long exams and quizzes

16. How about an A? yes, non-majors usually. Pang-hatak ng QPI!

17. Highest grade? A

18. Lowest grade? C

19. Worst experience in ADMU? First F in Math 11 under the most horrible professor. That was my first F in everything. I thought the world was going to swallow me. It was a humbling experience, and it built character. ;P

20. Do you always attend class? Nope. I sometimes cut class, especially if the temptation of the bed is soooo strong…

21. What are/were your orgs? CERSA, Women’s Volleyball Varsity, MISA, and that org which helps during mass celebrations (I forgot the name…)

22. How many units have/did you pass/ed? all

23. Nangangarap/nangarap ka bang maglaude? Nyek, hinde. Pero nangarap akong mag-DL. Came sooo close 1 sem. I think .03 na lang, DL na. Kaso C lang ang bigay sa akin ni Caballa for some Math course…

24. When will/did you graduate? 2000

25. Fave subject? History with the funniest professor in school, plush Film Theory. I got A in both!

26. Worst subject/s? That higher calculus thing (prove that zero is a zero. Punyeta, why do I need to prove that????? Nobody’s even questioning it!!!!)

27. Fave landmark sa ADMU? What used to be Sacred Heart Hill minus the church. Memories… Hihihi!

28. Fave kainan? Clubhouse-na-Manang’s-na-ngayon

29. How do/did you get to school? walking

30. Are/were you always at the lib? Nope, for official business only: borrowing books for papers.

31. Ever gone to the infirmary when you were sick? Yes, once. I had nose-bleed. Freshmen jitters…

32. Do/did you have a crush in campus? Hay, ang dami……..

33. May balak kang mag-MS, PhD? Nag-balak. I tried completing Masters in CS. But I almost had a nervous breakdown, so I had to prioritize: Mental health or the-ilusyon-to-be-superwoman

34. Have you ever watched a graduation ceremony? Yes, mine and Bucky’s younger brother’s.

35. Do you know the "Song for Mary" by heart? Yes, but only when it’s sung with everybody else. Hahahaha.

36. Memorize mo ba ang Fabilioh? I think so… Babble si BF e. ;P

37. ...ang Halikinu? Yes.

38. ...ang Blue Eagle Spelling? Yes. Spelling lang eh…

39. Are you part of Team Ateneo? For the UAAP, yes. For Volleyball. Pero nilalampaso kami dati.

40. Who's your fave UAAP basketball player? Papah Fonacier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

41. Ever had a perfect score in an exam? nope

42. Ano ang ayaw mo sa Hell Week? The fact that you are not allowed to sleep. and almost have a breakdown

43. Dito ka ba natuto uminom ng beer? Ng san Miguel draft-light-pale, red horse, blue ice, beer na beer, ng absolut, ng cuervo, ng el hombre (yeck), ng zombie, ng chichi, ng rhum coke, ng gin-bulag, ng stolichnya (melon vodka, my favourite), gataka (gatas-tanduay-kape), gataka-a (gatas-tanduay-kape-arina) dahil kay paula at ed …

44. What do you like about our school? The peace it gives me. It feels like home.

45. Ano ang ayaw mo? Mga feeling konyo.

46. Have you ever bought anything at the A-shop? T-shirts for my dad and brothers.

47. maganda ba ID pic mo? Pano ka gaganda sa buong araw na paglalakad under the heat of the sun????

48. Done anything illegal on campus? Illegal ba mag-kiss? Hihihi! Drinking and getting drunk sa dorm, illegal ba un?

49. Bought anything at National Katips? Of course.

50. Ever gone to Starbucks Katips? Once, but it wasn’t there when we graduated. It was Tia Maria’s then.

51. May nakaaway ka na ba sa school? Meron malamang. Pero di ko na sila maalala.


Additional:

52. Did u meet your current BF/GF in school? Yes. 9yrs na kami.

53. Have u ever been drunk at school? Yes. Gumagapang pauwi or tinutulungan ang mga gumagapang pauwi ng dorm.

54. Did u ever sit in the konyo bench and pretend that you’re conyo as well? Hhahahaha! YES! some guy friends used to pee on those benches. mwahahahhaha!

55. Did you ever play hide and seek in school during the night? Nope, but some of my cervinian friends did. What I did was hide-and-hide with someone. Hihihihi!

56. Did you smoke? Yes. I learned to smoke when I was so overwhelmed with deadlines and activities. Parang blank lang utak ko for 5 minutes. but i stopped smoking when i graduated.

57. Ever saw Marikina during the night from OM? Yes, so romantic...

58. Ever walked around school very late into the night? Yes. some find it creepy. i find it romantic...

59. Ever had an embarrassing moment? Yes!!!! I think the most embarrassing was when I was signing up for my Philo class during Junior year. I talked to this guy behind the desk, deciding which professor to get (all the good ones were full). And he asked me, “Bakit ayaw mo ditto kay Mariano, maluwang pa”. I told him that people told me not to take him kasi di daw magaling. But since his slot was the best sched that will fit mine, I signed up. It turned out that the guy behind the desk was Mariano. I wanted the floor to swallow me during the first day of class. He turned out to be a good professor, albeit, in a weird-funny way. I got high grades from him too.

60. Have you ever had a heartbreak while in school? Yes, but not because of someone I met in school. Some high school jerk. Jerk. Jerk.

61. Did you have fun while in college? YES, the BEST 4 years of my life. So far. I almost cried while packing my stuff. After all the flurry of activities, orgs, meetings, inuman, papers, deadlines, terror professors, crushes... the enormity of the whole thing ending dawned on me. I realized that Ateneo was my home for 4 whole years, and I was leaving it. I was sadder leaving school than leaving my real family. But things have to end. We need to move on and grow up. The consolation I hold on to is the fact that I had a great time when I was in college. And that will never leave me.

Proof?





Even when I was still in Manila & thinking about working here in Singapore, I’ve begun to ask myself if I don’t love him enough to stay, if don’t love him enough to be happy wherever he is. I faced these questions because I felt like everybody was suggesting that I don’t love him enough, that I am not happy with us, that I’m making the wrong decision, that I might lose him, or he might lose me, that we’ll both find someone else.


As if physical presence, or the need for it, is an absolute proof of one’s love or fidelity.

Now that we’ve been apart for 2 months, I still face these questions. More so, because I don’t feel miserable being alone. Sometimes I feel guilty. But I try to remind myself that this is part of me “growing up” and "testing my wings alone". Hahaha.

I’m slowly realizing that love isn’t so much about NOT being able to live without your partner. Rather, it is being able to live without him, and yet CHOOSING NOT to. I think I also heard this from “Rumor Has It”. hahahhaa. makes more sense to me.

So I’m trying to live my life alone, knowing that this will not be forever. Forever would be shared with him. Our time apart is just a speck compared to a lifetime of being together.

In the meantime, I won’t feel guilty. :P

ah, MEN ...

-- this was taken from Robbie's friendster bulletin. some girls might think that these rules are so ... inane or downright disgusting and offending, but i had a blast reading it. maybe i think too much like a man...

DUDE RULES: TO BE STRICTLY FOLLOWED

Part II

1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolat.

2. When you are queried by a dude's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny his very
existence.

3. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).

4. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another dude who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.

5. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty as a dude. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having s*x with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your
bachelor party.

6. Before dating a dude's ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return is required to grant it.

7. The universal compensation for dudes who help you move is beer.

8. A dude must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

9. Your girlfriend must bond with your buddy's girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them. You are not required to make nice with her gal pals significant dIck-heads--- low-level sports bonding is all the law requires.

10. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiney friend up with a dude you know, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

11. If a dude is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to
think, "What this guy needs is a good a*s-whoopin", then you may sit back
and enjoy.

12. If a dude is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

13. Before allowing a drunken dude to cheat on his girl, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "F*CK OFF!" You are absolved of your of responsibility.

DUDE RULES: Part I

01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella, unless at the footy, and your pies are getting wet, then for the eating period only it is permissible.

02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
After wrecking your boss' car.
One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
When she is using her teeth. (hahahaha )

03: Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05: If you've known a bloke for more than 4 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional.

08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity Alco pop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or LBW) and the ability to
drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding s*x pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
Yeah, Baby, Push it!
C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e.Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey s*x, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you
not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

48 days

hazy at clarke quay. taken by dino.

it's been 48 days since i first set foot as an OFW in this country. here's a disorganized list of my thoughts and what happened to me:


1) work has been OK. i just finished my last deliverable last night. hurrah.

2) now, i need to learn SAP. fast. stress... stress...

3) my bosses are nice and very considerate. they took me out for lunch today.

4) got a job offer with high pay, stable company, but i didnt like the role. so i turned it down. hope i wont regret it.

5) i finally have my own space. haleluia!

6) i met up with a Gen2 and her uber-fun and hyper gang, got drunk and lost $1 (blackjack) in the process

7) watched Transformers (astig!!!!), Fantastic 4 (shet, ang sexy ni jAlba) and Harry Potter (ang pogi na ni Harry, type...) with Sunflower hommies.

8) ang mahal ng sine dito

9) i dont like chili crab, the red sauce version. vetsin-overload. but i still havent tried the black pepper crab.

10) i found my favorite 'comfort' food place: Marina Bay steamboat/shabu-shabu! buffet inc crabs and shrimps for just $12. you just need to cook your own food tho and no aircon. but still, fun!

11) my friggin hair has a mind of its own

12) im beginning to get the hang of commuting for more than an hour, sans backpack and documents

13) my monsters are coming out of the closet...

14) i cant compete with the girls here who wear 3-inch heeled shoes to office. torture...

15) i miss Bucky...

dino the chili-crab monster

How much of the Philippines have you seen?

My Lakbayan grade is C+!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out athttp://www.blogger.com/Eugene.

50 things about me (as if u wanna know)...

I found this in friendster's bulletin. and having nothing else to do, i answered the list.

1. How tall are you barefoot? 5'4"
2. Have you ever smoked? Yes
3. Do you own a gun? Nope
4. Do you hate someone right now? No, not really
5. Do you get nervous? A lot
6. What do you think of hotdogs? Not my favourite food
7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Latin version of Silent Night
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Orange juice
9. Can you do push ups? Yes, macho yata itech…
11.What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My gold ring that looks like a flower. It was given to me by my aunt when I was just 6 yrs old
12. Do you like painkillers? Yes, I think have an addiction to Mefenamic Acid. The pills don’t work on me anymore…
13. What is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex? Um, I don’t lure the opposite sex. If they like me, they like me. If hinde, di wag!
14. Do you own a knife? Yes, its in the kitchen
15. Do you have H.I.V? God, no!
16. Name? Janus
17. Name 3 things u wanna do at this exact moment: be in Eiffel Tower at night, skinny dipping under the moonlight, be wrapped in Bucky’s arms
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought lately: a kilo of grapes, scissors, noodles with stewed beef
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: water, orange juice, milk
20. What time did you wake up today? 730am. I turned off the darned alarm clock and went back to sleep…
22. Current worry? Not having enough money, job security
23. Current hate? uncertainty
24. Favorite place to be? On the sand under the sun
25.Least favorite place to be? MRT at 8am
26. Where would you like to go? Europe, Maldives, Greece, Brazil, India
27. Do you own slippers? Of course
28. What shirt are you wearing? Sando blouse
29. -- missing????
30. Favorite color? Red, orange
31. Would you like to be a pirate? Nope, they look dirty at walang ligo
32. Last time you had an alcoholic drink: before I left for Singapore
33. What songs do you sing in the shower room? I don’t sing in the shower
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Someone like Sadako
35.What's in your pocket/s right now? nothing
36. Last thing that made you laugh? When bucky told me he would still let me sleep in his house even if we break up
37. last thing that made you cry? Realizing that I hurt a friend
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Ankle sprain. I couldn’t walk properly for weeks
40. How many cellphones do you have? One. And I need one more…
41. Who is your loudest friend? Louder than me? Bucky.
42.Who is your most silent friend? Hmmm. Cant think of any right now
43.last movie watched? Fantastic 4
44. What is your favorite book? The God of Small Things, 100 years of solitude, Of Love & Shadows
45.What is your favorite chocolate? Royce dark chocolates, Andes mint and chocolate
47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? She
48. What were you doing 12 AM last night? asleep
49. What was the First thing you did today? Took a bath
50. What was the last thing you did the day before yesterday? Chatted with Bucky

Week 3

Friday. The last day of my first 3 weeks of working here in Singapore.

So what exactly has been my work about? I’ve been doing business process documentation, interviewing users, cleaning up the process diagrams handed-over to me, which were in such a bad shape that I had to redo the whole thing. I earned the ire of the users because I’ve been already the 3rd person interviewing them for the same purpose. I would be irritated myself, if it happened to me. But work has to be done, and so I bear the brunt of their impatience. And my boss constantly asks me about how SAP can “do things”, in relation to the processes I’ve been documenting. So far, I’ve been confident with my answers. Hoping to keep this up. Hehehe.

I decided to hang out by the benches outside Suntec to catch some sun and polluted air (there are cars and busses going around the Fountain of Wealth, and smokers behind me). For the past 2 days, I found the client’s office very stuffy.

So, 3 weeks. What do I think, so far?

Singapore is a multi-cultural country. Though it’s predominantly Chinese, there is a large portion of the population who are Indians, Malays, Muslims, and Filipino. Call it weird, but I find comfort in hearing inane Tagalog conversations and tsismis in the bus or MRT.

For the past 3 weeks, I have compiled a list of general observations (not in any order) about the people, the culture, and the interesting things here in Singapore. N.b. these are just mere observations, and not sweeping generalizations. I don’t aim to hurt or judge anybody.

1) “-lah”. What could this 3-letter word/suffix/phrase mean? Whenever I talk to anybody who is distinctly Singaporean, these 3 letters seem to pop out at the end of each sentence. “Don’t include this lah”, “Let’s go out for lunch lah”… and so on. Why? Why?

2) Singaporeans are workaholics. They take pride in working long hours, working at home, working on weekends, during lunch... I found it sad.

3) They’re so quiet in the office. If it was quiet in my previous office, it’s quieter here. People hardly talk, there isn’t anyone listening to music (even with earphones), or the occasional jostling and joking around. I could hear the aircon humming overhead. Nakakapanis ng laway…

4) It’s amazing to see the number of shops and malls here. There are just so many things waiting to be purchased! Laptops, digital cameras, phones, speakers, usb devices, ipod, mp3 players, shoes, bags, clothes, food, more shoes… I often wonder how these shops could survive.

5) Most foodcourts only have a handful of stalls with spoon and forks.

6) All of the foodcourts I’ve been don’t give out paper napkins as part of their service! So frustrating…

7) The serving size of meals here is BIG. Most of the time, I can hardly finish my meal. I usually buy my food as “take away”. Whatever I couldn’t finish for lunch is usually my dinner. Katamad na rin mag-prepare. I miss Gingging. Hehehe.

8) Canned/bottled softdrinks here cost an arm! $1.50 for a can of Coke Light x P30/$SG1 = P45/can. And that’s already in a foodcourt. Crazy! Another reason to stick to the diet (if there is one).

9) Most foodcourt/hawker busboys/cleaners here are senior citizens.

10) Most people here eat alone during meal times, like I do. 3 or 4 strangers can share a table in the foodcourt, not minding one another’s business.

11) Despite observation #7, people here are slim, sexy, well-groomed and fashionable, especially the women. They can walk for hours in stilettos and strappy sandals, with short skirts or shorts, despite the always impending rain. Also despite their varicose veins and leg spots. Now that is confidence.

12) [Another] despite observation #11, I noticed that most people here are not fond of taking a bath or washing up everyday. There isn’t a day, during the morning bus ride, that I don’t see a pretty lady or a guy smartly dressed but smelling of someone who just got out of bed. Amoy kama. As a result, I think people here have gone immune with BO. Either that, or they’ve mastered the art of ignoring it even in the enclosed space of an aircon bus or MRT. As for me, the only thing I’ve mastered is pretending to ignore BO. I keep a straight face whenever there is an “encounter”, but deep inside, I want to belch and run out.

13) Everything is ‘sanitized’ here. Everything looks clean, manicured, and OC. There is hardly any dust at the house, or any litter in the sidewalks. The MRT and the buses are well-kept. Buses only stop at designated areas. There are no creepy kundoktors or hold-upper looking men. There are trees and shade even in the heart of the city. Ang saya-saya.

14) I think there is only one big grocery store here (Carrerfour) that can rival SM and Landmark.

15) Prices of liquor are outrageously! No wonder people here are so … somber and always looking constipated (ehehehe).

16) There aren’t too many pogi and guapa people here. Well, beauty is subjective. But as for me, people here look too Chinese or too Indian for my taste. I’ve come to realize that the Filipinos’ physique and “face” has been too watered down by centuries of intermarriage with the colonial Spanish, that we look neither distinctly Asian nor Malay nor Spanish. Whereas people here are, like I said, too … distinct.

17) There is hardly any traffic here. “Hardly”, in comparison to the monstrous traffic back in Manila. Traffic here would mean being stuck for a maximum of 1 hour. One hour back in Manila is just ‘normal’ travel time from Makati to Ortigas. Maybe because there aren’t too many cars here. Too expensive. And besides, the public transport system is very efficient and covers most of the country, so why bother with a car?

18) Whereas there are queues or “pila” for cabs, people don’t queue at bus stops. Rampage! Especially during peak hours between 6pm and 9pm. Parang sa Pilipinas din pala.

19) Children here are very independent. Those as young as 6 years old can go to far-off schools without a yaya, provided they have their own ez-link (smart card for busses, MRT) ticket or coins.

20) People read in the busses and the MRT. I still couldn’t bring myself to catch this habit. The strain of focusing my eyes on the letters, while the bus or the MRT is forever shaking, gives me migraine.

21) There is hardly any news about killings, rape, child abuse, rallies, hold-uppers, and terrorists. Like the general surroundings, the news is also quite sanitized. Parang exciting na dito ang nahulog na kotse sa kanal, kotseng nakabanggan sa kalye, and the like. Made me think na ang boring talaga dito.

22) Deal or No Deal here is a boring show, compared to the ‘dramah’ and excitement in Pinas’ version. The audience isn’t too loud, the host doesn’t have Kris Aquino’s ka-eklatan, and is so “trying-hard” to be witty and funny.

23) The entertainment industry here is a speck compared to Pinas’. You see the same faces in almost all the local shows. One actor could be doing drama in one show, and comedy or action an hour later in another show. Mileage.

24) Most taxis here are Toyota Crown. Kulay at company lang ang nag-iba. There must’ve been a time when they mass-imported these cars to be used as taxis. Cabs here are nice, clean, don’t smell of cigarette smoke, and they issue receipts, so you wouldn’t hear the irritating “kayo na po bahala ma’m ha…” comment.

25) During communion at mass, people follow the queuing per pew system. A row of people can only stand up when the row before them has already queued or taken communion. It’s very systematic, and facilitates faster distribution amongst the people. Unlike sa Pilipinas, walang systema. Queue at your own sweet time.

26) Sentosa, the largest island/beach resort here, with an atmosphere like Boracay, is pitiable compared to our beaches. The sand looks and feels fake, the water is murky and has a horrible shade of monster green (yeck), and the whole place just reeks of “artificial”. Even though I shun Boracay for having lost all its “naturalness”, I would prefer it, hands-down, over Sentosa anytime. But then, who am I to complain? It’s the only ‘decent’ beach near the city. And as I need to be sun-scorched once in a while, I don’t have any choice.

So there, 26 items in just 3 weeks. I’m foreseeing that this list will grow longer, as I begin to miss dear old, chaotic, unforgettable lupang sinilangan.

Singapura … Singapura …

Today is officially my 20th day here in Singapore.

I arrived with my parents and youngest brother last June 1. I had soooo much luggage that I asked for them to come with me, so that I could use their luggage allocation (anyway, they didn’t pay for the plane fare). We spent the afternoon walking around, taking pictures of the Merlion and the Fullerton hotel. Then we had dinner at the Esplanade outdoor hawker center. It was a long walk back to my parents’ budget hotel along North Bridge. Onchie stayed with me at Rap’s.

On the 2nd day, we went to Sentosa via cable car. It was such a nerve-wracking experience, especially for dad. You can just imagine what will happen if your coach was to plunge down the sea. Scary thought. There was not much to see in Sentosa really. We just went to the Merlion statue again, had pictures with the friendly yellow python (yikes!), and had lunch at Subway while waiting for Onchie to finish the 4D movie. Then we checked out the macau bird show (which was really for kids, it was OA) then headed to the beaches: Palawan and Siloso.

The ‘beaches’ don’t even come close to the so-so beaches we have back in the Philippines. For one thing, the sand looked fake. Also, the water looked murky, as if a monster might appear from it anytime. What pitiful souls… crowding into the only ‘beach’ they have. There was an interesting place though, claimed to be the ‘southernmost point of continental asia’. It is an islet connected to Sentosa island via a hanging bridge, and Sentosa Island is connected to Singapore via a bridge, and Singapore is connected to Malaysia via the Singapore-Johore causeway, hence the reason it’s still connected to continental asia. At 7pm, we watched the water & light show called ‘Songs of the Sea’. The plot was very thin (coz it was intended for kids), but the effects were really cool. Even Onchie enjoyed the show. He and I went back to the cable car station via the Sky Ride. It was like the cable car ride, minus the protection of the coach! Our feet were literally hanging in the air, almost skimming the top of the trees. Scary! The ride stopped for around 2 minutes, so were left dangling tens of meters above ground, totally helpless. Even though the ride was scary as hell, the view of the city from above the treetops was breathtaking. Either that, or I was out of breath like shit because of fear.

The cable car ride back to the city was less scary, and the view more beautiful. Everything was bright and twinkling.

On Sunday, we heard mass at Good Shepherd Cathedral, the oldest Roman Catholic church in Singapore (erected in 1843). Our lunch at the hawkers by the hotel had been fun: Onchie and mom waged war with their chopsticks. Then off we went to Chinatown. Mom, as usual, had a blast window shopping, touching the items, asking for the prices and looking away. For all the time she scoured the stores for anything, she was only able to buy 2 or 3 items. Ay ka-kapoy. After shopping, we came across the newly opened temple. Onchie and I went in and joined the Sunday afternoon rush. There were so many devotees and tourists flocking by the giant buddhas. There was just so many people. They buy candles as offerings and ask the monks do the chanting (via high-end sound system).The supposed solemnity of the place was lost in the crowd: taking pictures, talking, shouting, haggling for the prices on the smaller buddhas… After Chinatown, we went to Little India and shopped at the Serangoon Plaza. To my chagrin, mom bought soap, lotion, shampoo, and toothpaste! Mura daw kasi. Hay! I was able to buy a camera tripod at a bargain: $21 only. The cheapest one I found in Chinatown was $35. After Little India, we took the MRT going to Orchard Road. By this time, we were so tired that we just had dinner at Burger King and went back to the hotel. We didn’t even go into the malls to look for Onchie’s Havaianas. Having realized that the night was still young, we decided to go to Bugis Street for some tiyange shopping until midnight.

As their last ‘tour day’ was Monday, I left them to fend for themselves because I had to report to work at Suntec. Little did I know that my company had already moved to Jurong. So I went there via the MRT and got almost got lost because I didn’t know which bus to take. After getting instructions in the main office, I arrived in Jurong at around lunch time, only to discover that my project manager wasn’t there. So I was instructed to do my medical examination and take the rest of the day off. Just when I had finally decided to go back to the city and meet my famiily, the project manager calls me and tells me to go back to the office. Haaaaaaayyy………. And since I didn’t have a laptop in the office yet, I had to go back home and get my own. Grabe, kakapoy. I finally met up with my parents at around 8pm. Kainis pa coz Dad and I ran out of our roaming load, so we couldn’t coordinate. I went to their hotel as the last resort, hoping that I’d bump into them. Good thing that Dad was waiting at the hawker area by the street and saw me walk by. He was waiting for Mom and Onchie to wrap up their shopping. When they didn’t show up after I ate dinner, we decided to look for them in Bugis Junction. We found both of them doing pahabol shopping and bargaining. It was already 10pm when we went out the mall (syempre, closing time na rin). Onchie wanted to shop some more because he still had some SGD, but since all the malls were already closed, we went to the nearby Starbucks and ordered his first frappuccino. I helped them pack their shit. Good thing they bought a lot of extra bags (which was supposed to be for my use), all the soap, toothpaste, shampoo, candles, and what-have-you that my mom bought, plus the shoes that Onchie and Dad bought, were secured.

Onchie had to sleep with my parents because they were leaving for the airport very early the next day. As I stood alone in the bus, I suddenly felt a strong pang of loneliness, it almost made me cry. My first four days in Singapore had been tiring but fun, because my family was there. I wasn’t sure if I’d survive without them to hold on to. By the time I got to Rap’s place that night, I was so tired to mull about it.

The next two weeks of work had been very hectic… And I terribly missed Bucky.

What Your Name Means (http://www.paulsadowski.com/NameData.asp)

-- this thingie almost made me laugh... where do these people get this shit????

You entered: january kristi migalbin

There are 21 letters in your name.Those 21 letters total to 99. There are 8 vowels and 13 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.
Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 6
A Soul Urge number of 6 means: With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you a able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times.

The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings.
If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be over done, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.

Your Inner Dream number is: 3
An Inner Dream number of 3 means: You dream of artistic expression; writing, painting, music. You would seek to more freely express your inner feeling and obtain more enjoyment from life. You also dream of being more popular, likable, and appreciated.

the eagle has landed in Merlion City (an introduction...)

after more 3 years of thinking and planning about this, i'm finally here. i've finally arrived in Singapore.

it took a lot of luck, tears, self-doubt, reflection, and faith to leave the comforts of home and be in a strange country.

more to come. i just need to finish some work. (me, work on weekends???? di ko naman ginagawa sa manila to ah...)

My 28th Bday, and then after…

I’m writing this blog exactly 93 days after my birthday.

Since then, I’ve gained a lot insight, faced a lot of fears, and I could say that right now, while I’m writing this, I am acting my age.

But first, I think I need to write about that day.

As I have decided to go back to Manila on my bday so that I wouldn’t have to apply for a VL on Jan 3, I woke up early to do some final preparations before my 8am flight. I was barely able to wink because my brothers and I went driving around a neighboring village so that they could practice driving with me for the last time. Since it was new year, and into the wee hours of the morning, I risked letting them both drive into the highway and go to Shell Select in Ecoland. And since it was my birthday, we decided to get some coffee, junk food and cake to celebrate. We went home at around 2am.

The next day, I said goodbye to my still-asleep brothers, and went to the airport with mom. I saw Jenny Ong in the airport, on her way to Manila also.

Bucky still wasn’t in Manila so I had to take a cab home. After unloading my stuff, I wrestled between sleeping and giving myself a half-day-of-pampering in the spa. Realizing that I could in fact get some rest in the spa, I went to Greenbelt. I had a facial, massage, pedicure and foot scrub. It felt nice, though the massage was quite rough. I told myself that my spa-day was a treat to myself, being 28 and all. It was already dark when I finally got myself out of the spa. I heard mass in Greenbelt chapel, and had a quiet dinner by myself in Via Mare. I thought that I didn’t want to impose on anybody to spend dinner with me on my birthday. Besides, nobody of my close friends was in Manila.

Yes, by myself. It didn’t really bother me. Besides the practical side of the matter, meaning that none of my friends, including Bucky, were in Manila, I thought it “fit” to spend my 28th birthday by myself. Face my scary age head on.

When I was in high school, I thought that at 28, I’d be what I always wanted to be in life: successful, beautiful, wise, and I’d know how to dress, put on make up, and be fabulous. Even married with a kid or two. Thinking of it now, it seems I’m far from what I thought my life would be. But is that really scary, not having the life you think you’ll have? Is it really scary being 28 and be what I am now?

Maybe not. Maybe I thought wrong when I was younger. Right now, I don’t think I’ll be really happy if I were successful, or beautiful, or fabulous. Besides, how could I really measure these things? Does having a paycheck and a title make one successful? Do having clothes and shoes and bags and makeup make one beautiful and fabulous? Do these things matter?

Last February, when the reality of Paula and my supervisor’s departure finally hit me, I had a mini-panic attack. I thought that I wasn’t going anywhere, that I was just floating around. Maybe because 28 is so close to 30 and I haven’t done the things I have been wanting to do yet.

But surprisingly, having some time to reflect, I feel like I’m better now. I chanced upon a “farewell” email from an ex-officemate who resigned last year. In summary, it said that even though we make plans, we should always remember that we live in God’s grace. I don’t really know what God has intended me to do in this world, but I guess He wills me to find out for myself. And so I will plan, as best as I could. But if things don’t go my way, then maybe there’s something else for me. And each time I try, I hope I learn more about myself, about what matters most in life. I guess in the end, what will really matter is how we’ve tried to live our lives, how we tried to make the best out of the life given to us.

I’ll stick to my plan, give it a shot, and see from there.

Of monthsarries, valentine's, anniversarries & the 9-year itch...

It was Bucky & my 9th year anniversary as a couple last Mar 28. If I count the 6 months that we spent before becoming officially a “couple”, we’d have been together for 9 years and 6 months. Now, that is a long time. We quietly celebrated the occasion at Galileo, with pasta, cheese, cold cuts, wine, and each other’s company.

Sometimes I wonder how time flied so fast. It’s amazing to realize how much we’ve grown together, how we’ve shared so much, and not just the good times, but also the bad.

I feel so lucky to have him, so blessed that he found me, and relieved that I was able to knock some sense into my hard head 9 years ago. He allowed me to be myself, without making me feel like a fool or feel judged. He allowed me to be honest, to be scared, to be high-strung, a loose canon. I think in that way, he helped me find my way. He was never the person who’d put restrictions on me. I wasn’t given limitations on who to talk to, where to go, what to do. He just allowed me to be … myself, in my best, and even in my worst. He was there. And I never felt judged. He was always there.

For our January monthsarry, we went to have a hearty lunch/dinner at Steak MD. I’ve heard about this place from Bea who read about it in the internet. Knowing Bucky as a carnivore, I wanted to treat him with a heavy meal. And what a meal it was. The steak was cooked really well, and it wasn’t expensive compared to the steaks from other restaurants. Well, the steak from Antonio’s is a different story. We then had dessert coffee at Coffee Bean.



For our February celebration, it was more low key and casual. We just had dinner at home, bought coffee at Coffee Bean Valero, and spent walked around Jaime Velasquez Park until late in the evening. It was simple, cozy, and nice.


On Valentine’s Day, we had a dinner date at Galileo. We both had a great time, Bucky with the wine, and me with the dark chocolate & mint ice cream cake. We also had a serving of pasta, cheese, cold cuts, and wine each. We were so full, and yet it didn’t feel expensive. In fact, Bucky was able to order 4 glasses of wine with our dinner, and yet everything only cost us less than P1,500.

We still have a long way to go. Marriage may be a sure possibility, but not soon. We both agreed on that. I guess the question is: could we still stand each other for 3-4 years more without the finality of marriage? I hope so. I was asked by friend how we could’ve stood each other. I think I told him that 3 things worked for us: no second guessing, talking, and laughter. So far, after more than 9 years of being together, we still have them. And each other.