the eagle has landed in Merlion City (an introduction...)

after more 3 years of thinking and planning about this, i'm finally here. i've finally arrived in Singapore.

it took a lot of luck, tears, self-doubt, reflection, and faith to leave the comforts of home and be in a strange country.

more to come. i just need to finish some work. (me, work on weekends???? di ko naman ginagawa sa manila to ah...)

My 28th Bday, and then after…

I’m writing this blog exactly 93 days after my birthday.

Since then, I’ve gained a lot insight, faced a lot of fears, and I could say that right now, while I’m writing this, I am acting my age.

But first, I think I need to write about that day.

As I have decided to go back to Manila on my bday so that I wouldn’t have to apply for a VL on Jan 3, I woke up early to do some final preparations before my 8am flight. I was barely able to wink because my brothers and I went driving around a neighboring village so that they could practice driving with me for the last time. Since it was new year, and into the wee hours of the morning, I risked letting them both drive into the highway and go to Shell Select in Ecoland. And since it was my birthday, we decided to get some coffee, junk food and cake to celebrate. We went home at around 2am.

The next day, I said goodbye to my still-asleep brothers, and went to the airport with mom. I saw Jenny Ong in the airport, on her way to Manila also.

Bucky still wasn’t in Manila so I had to take a cab home. After unloading my stuff, I wrestled between sleeping and giving myself a half-day-of-pampering in the spa. Realizing that I could in fact get some rest in the spa, I went to Greenbelt. I had a facial, massage, pedicure and foot scrub. It felt nice, though the massage was quite rough. I told myself that my spa-day was a treat to myself, being 28 and all. It was already dark when I finally got myself out of the spa. I heard mass in Greenbelt chapel, and had a quiet dinner by myself in Via Mare. I thought that I didn’t want to impose on anybody to spend dinner with me on my birthday. Besides, nobody of my close friends was in Manila.

Yes, by myself. It didn’t really bother me. Besides the practical side of the matter, meaning that none of my friends, including Bucky, were in Manila, I thought it “fit” to spend my 28th birthday by myself. Face my scary age head on.

When I was in high school, I thought that at 28, I’d be what I always wanted to be in life: successful, beautiful, wise, and I’d know how to dress, put on make up, and be fabulous. Even married with a kid or two. Thinking of it now, it seems I’m far from what I thought my life would be. But is that really scary, not having the life you think you’ll have? Is it really scary being 28 and be what I am now?

Maybe not. Maybe I thought wrong when I was younger. Right now, I don’t think I’ll be really happy if I were successful, or beautiful, or fabulous. Besides, how could I really measure these things? Does having a paycheck and a title make one successful? Do having clothes and shoes and bags and makeup make one beautiful and fabulous? Do these things matter?

Last February, when the reality of Paula and my supervisor’s departure finally hit me, I had a mini-panic attack. I thought that I wasn’t going anywhere, that I was just floating around. Maybe because 28 is so close to 30 and I haven’t done the things I have been wanting to do yet.

But surprisingly, having some time to reflect, I feel like I’m better now. I chanced upon a “farewell” email from an ex-officemate who resigned last year. In summary, it said that even though we make plans, we should always remember that we live in God’s grace. I don’t really know what God has intended me to do in this world, but I guess He wills me to find out for myself. And so I will plan, as best as I could. But if things don’t go my way, then maybe there’s something else for me. And each time I try, I hope I learn more about myself, about what matters most in life. I guess in the end, what will really matter is how we’ve tried to live our lives, how we tried to make the best out of the life given to us.

I’ll stick to my plan, give it a shot, and see from there.

Of monthsarries, valentine's, anniversarries & the 9-year itch...

It was Bucky & my 9th year anniversary as a couple last Mar 28. If I count the 6 months that we spent before becoming officially a “couple”, we’d have been together for 9 years and 6 months. Now, that is a long time. We quietly celebrated the occasion at Galileo, with pasta, cheese, cold cuts, wine, and each other’s company.

Sometimes I wonder how time flied so fast. It’s amazing to realize how much we’ve grown together, how we’ve shared so much, and not just the good times, but also the bad.

I feel so lucky to have him, so blessed that he found me, and relieved that I was able to knock some sense into my hard head 9 years ago. He allowed me to be myself, without making me feel like a fool or feel judged. He allowed me to be honest, to be scared, to be high-strung, a loose canon. I think in that way, he helped me find my way. He was never the person who’d put restrictions on me. I wasn’t given limitations on who to talk to, where to go, what to do. He just allowed me to be … myself, in my best, and even in my worst. He was there. And I never felt judged. He was always there.

For our January monthsarry, we went to have a hearty lunch/dinner at Steak MD. I’ve heard about this place from Bea who read about it in the internet. Knowing Bucky as a carnivore, I wanted to treat him with a heavy meal. And what a meal it was. The steak was cooked really well, and it wasn’t expensive compared to the steaks from other restaurants. Well, the steak from Antonio’s is a different story. We then had dessert coffee at Coffee Bean.



For our February celebration, it was more low key and casual. We just had dinner at home, bought coffee at Coffee Bean Valero, and spent walked around Jaime Velasquez Park until late in the evening. It was simple, cozy, and nice.


On Valentine’s Day, we had a dinner date at Galileo. We both had a great time, Bucky with the wine, and me with the dark chocolate & mint ice cream cake. We also had a serving of pasta, cheese, cold cuts, and wine each. We were so full, and yet it didn’t feel expensive. In fact, Bucky was able to order 4 glasses of wine with our dinner, and yet everything only cost us less than P1,500.

We still have a long way to go. Marriage may be a sure possibility, but not soon. We both agreed on that. I guess the question is: could we still stand each other for 3-4 years more without the finality of marriage? I hope so. I was asked by friend how we could’ve stood each other. I think I told him that 3 things worked for us: no second guessing, talking, and laughter. So far, after more than 9 years of being together, we still have them. And each other.

LOVE...

i guess love is a lot of things. there is no line to cross, there is no one answer, no one definition. there is both good and bad. sometimes you think its irrational, and yet when you decide to love somebody, in whatever form or way, you know its the sanest decision you will ever make.

i think you'll know that you love somebody, and if that somebody loves you back. just like when you know that you're over someone and you're ready to move on. you don't need to be sure. if you have doubts, don't fret. even most married couples have doubts. but i guess the point is not NOT having doubts, because they'll never go away. the more important thing is asking how do you deal with them? do your doubts affect your fundamental beliefs? are you willing to comprise those?

How do you know if something's not just meant to be or if you're not just trying hard enough?

excerpts from "Partners and Marriage"
by EDUARDO JOSE E. CALASANZ

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages. Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new.

Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. There is a miracle in marriage.

Marriage is a transformation we choose to make. Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed.

Two separate beings, two separate presences, two separate consciousness come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one. There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life.

Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains. But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one.

So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation. If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers.

If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth our patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom.

Manding

Manding arrived from the US for a medical mission in Morong, Rizal last Feb 8. As I was the closest relative in Manila, we spent most of our free time together, before and after her mission. I picked her up in the airport, let her sleep in my room, went with her to the parlor and spa(where I got a free hair treatment, pedicure and foot scrub, and a full body massage, thanks to Manding), and sent her off to her mission. Of course, Bucky was there too. Good thing that Manding brought dollars to keep us fed and full all the time, and from all our favorite expensive restos no less. ;-)

After she got out from her mission a week later, my aunts (cynthia, mimian) and lola arrived so we could all gather in Bulacan for a mini-reunion. And we did. The oldies did some catching up, ate, and distributed pasalubongs, and played with the kids.

There was an impromptu, unplanned suggestion that we spend a night in Fontana. Good thing Bucky agreed to go so I had a ride going there. We had lunch in flat, then spent the whole afternoon swimming in the pools. It was the first time that I had gone down from a very high pool slide. Exhilirating. Even Bucky had fun. Since we were the youngest in the group, we had an excuse to enjoy the slide over and over again. Just like kids.

We had a blast preparing dinner. There was no gas around the hose so we had to be creative in burning the coals. After smelling of smoke and grilled pork (and a minor debacle over missing salt which we were able to purchase outside the resort), we had a hearty dinner and long cold bath. Since we were too tired and sleepy, Bucky and I decided to spend the night and leave very early for work the next day.

The next weekend, we went to Tito Umpong's house to have dinner with everybody from Bulacan. It was chaos.

I had a great time spending time with my neurotic family. Being with them made me realize that a big part of who I am now is because of them, especially the women. When I was watching and listening to them talk, I could almost hear myself. It was funny in a weird way.

Thoughts from Down-under (part one)...
most recent on top

Paula and I have been writing to each other for the past week. I've been troubled by disturbing (not psychopathic though) thoughts lately. Being my shrink, she has always helped me put my head in the right direction. Now, I just have to figure out for myself if that's the direction I really want to take. Hahaha!

Thanks, Pau!

----- Original Message ----
From: January Kristi Migalbin
To: Paula Gamboa
Sent: Monday, February 12, 2007 1:20:04 PM
Subject: Re: Hi!

to be honest, i don't know if going away will make me happy. i know i won't be able to "complete" myself before getting married. but i do know that i want time for myself. i want it before getting married. and i want it soon. i know that if i don't have this, something will always be missing. and i will always look back at this.

i want to find myself again. i want to know what makes me what i am without him or anyone else.

its weird. being with bucky for this long changed me for the better. i know i am a better person now because i am with him. ive become more mature, less demanding of people, ive learned that it's ok to make mistakes and say sorry. ive learned to be happy. now i want to know myself as me. i want to know if i can stand up on my own. because i need to. it's good to have someone beside you. but i think it's better to know that you can stand up on your own. having someone beside you is just the bonus.

nobody becomes an expert in relationships, i think. even people in long relationships end up hurting each other or fall apart. i think you are in a better state now to have a relationship. you've come far. you've survived a heartache. and you say you are at peace with yourself. knowing who you are before getting into a relationship is a healthy start. you know what you want, and you know yourself enough to be able to make compromises with a partner without feeling "nalugi". and you'll know that if you ever get into a relationship, it will be for the right reasons.

Yes, we are indeed growing up. reading this whole thread is like reading a script in sex and the city. minus the string of boys and the never-ending sex. hahaha!

----- Original Message ----
From: Paula Gamboa
To: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Friday, February 9, 2007 7:54:27 AM
Subject: RE: Hi!

I am not an expert when it comes to relationships. Never been in one and I am seriously asking myself if I am built for committment. The thought of being with only one person is terrifying and comforting at the same time. I know there is no 'right one' but there is someone we will choose to stick it out with. I have not met that person. I never talked about it before but it does get weird having all your friends in relationships. I never gave it much thought but being here I have. It would be nice to come home to someone. It will be nice to have someone to do things together with. It will be nice to just sit back relax and know that you're in good company. I have reached a point when I think I know myself too much and enjoy being with me that I'm afraid I may get too used to it. I'd like to get into a relationship for the right reasons though. Not because I am lonely or because everyone else is in one.

I agree it's about completing yourself. For me being complete is when you are at peace with who you are and what you are about. I don't think you complete yourself at a certain age though. People grow up and it's a process of becoming :)

Do what you think will make you happy. And you know what? Only you can tell what will make you happy. From experience, you feel at peace when you know you've made the right choice for yourself. A lot of people will be affected by the decisions you make. But at the end of the day, you have to be able to live with yourself and the decisions you make for you. It sounds selfish but it's the truth. Other people don't make you happy - you ulitmately make the choice how other people's actions make you feel di ba? Other people mean well but we end up hurt - because we choose for their actions to hurt us.

Bucky has been there for what seems like forever. But you manage without him don't you? Whatever decision you make, it will affect your life. It's THE fork road everyone seems to talk about. My only advise is whatever you decide don't look back at what-could-have-been if you chose to do the other thing(s). Look forward to the what-could-be in the situation you chose to put yourself in.

We are growing up aren't we? :)

Keep in touch. I love getting mails from you - it keeps me connected to home :)

----- Original Message ----
From: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Thursday, 8 February 2007 3:45 PM
To: Paula Gamboa
Subject: Re: Hi!

hahaha! oo nga, reading your emails is like reading a philo paper. but its nice reading your emails. it calms me down. made me realize that there's much to be thankful for.

there are still things that i want to do, pero not as drastic as i thought necessary. there's still that nagging feeling of wanting more, or wanting something different. when i think of the reasons why i want to stay, the only thing i can think of is bucky. and i fear asking myself why i don't feel that he's not enough. i feel so guilty and confused when I start thinking about this. and i begin to ask myself: dont i love him enough? do i love him at all? is he the right person for me?

i do love him, and we feel "right" together. so why do I still feel this way?

i guess having someone to love (and who loves you back), cannot complete a person. you need to complete yourself. i think being away from Bucky is part of completing myself. i've been with him for the past 10 years. i cannot imagine myself without him. that thought scares me. i feel that i need to imagine myself without him. i dont want to be forever identified with another person.

take care, and thanks.

----- Original Message ----
From: Paula Gamboa
To: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Wednesday, February 7, 2007 8:10:34 AM
Subject: RE: Hi!

Hey there.....Hahahaha, I can knock some sense into you but can't seem to knock some sense in my own little brain sometimes :D But that's what friends are for right? We need to look out for each other =) Come visit soon! I hope I'll be good at driving on the freeway then we can travel to the other states by car.

I think it is difficult for people who leave someone behind. Again, it's about finding reasons to stay rather than leave. Some people can make that sacrifice. I am not one of those people. When I think of it I guess things kinda fell into place. I think the time I left was the right time. What I learned so far is the fact that lonely doesn't mean you are alone. You can be with so many people and still be lonely. I know it sounds crazy but I feel at peace. Alam mo yun feeling na the world is a beautiful place and you like waking up each day? When I have nothing to do, I walk. I normally end up in the supermarket getting stuff for the house. I like walking now. It gives me a sense of peace. I must sound like an old woman :P Pero I've never felt like this. It's far from perfect ...I've also realized perfect is too much. (Read my blog).

I learned that in life we have to take risks, even if it means getting hurt. That we need to recognize when we can't do something alone and need others to help us. But we should also know when to stop trying. There's a fine line between pursuing what you want and doing things to get it - and knowing that there are some things you just can't have.

Reading my mails feeling ko nagme-meron ako. hahahaha, may natutunan din ako sa ateneo

----- Original Message ----
From: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Tuesday, 6 February 2007 7:34 PM
To: Paula Gamboa
Subject: Re: Hi!

Thanks. you really have a way of knocking sense into me. after all, you're my shrink (whether u like it or not)! hahaha!

you're right, i need to think about my realities first before making a decision. i guess my judgement has been clouded by irrational fears or baseless needs or useless reasons. hahaha! we shall see. i'll be processing all these more thoroughly.

im so happy for you, that things are falling into place. im sure you'll have a great adventure down there. keep me posted. for now, i'll live vicariously through you. so post your pix!

take care

----- Original Message ----
From: Paula Gamboa
To: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Tuesday, February 6, 2007 1:24:56 PM
Subject: RE: Hi!

Australia is a nice country but from my point of view, you need a lot of money to stick it out here. You can't just show up here without money or a job. Some people do it and I reckon they make a lot of sacrifices to make both ends meet. If you are used to having everything you need whenever you want it, this is not the place to be. I know I said it's not about the money (why I chose this vs Singapore) but I am realising that money is important for survival. It is expensive to live here and to come over without guaranteed employment will be tough. You need to rent a house and furnish it at the same time. Furniture and appliances are expensive (especially if you buy what you really want instead of just buying whatever you see that is cheap). I don't regret coming out here but I sure am depleting my savings in the Philippines settling down.

My opinion is you need to think about what really matters to you. If you go to Australia or Singapore, you are risking a relationship. If you think it's worth it, go for it. Don't expect it will be easy and make sure you can live with yourself after you've made your decision. When you're away from home you start asking yourself why you left in the first place. Trust me, you need a pretty damn good reason to convince yourself to stick it out. The folks I'm with here from the Philippines don't like it here and talk about going home soon. I won't say this country is perfect but I am not thinking about going home yet. Because I know what I'm here for...and when I lie awake at night all alone in a big house (it's a 2 story townhouse) I still feel at peace with myself.

Living in another country isn't what it's cut out to be. I never thought I'd say that but it's true. It's a lot of hardwork, it's about re-building your life. It's about responsibility, it's about independence - but it's also about knowing that there are things you can't do alone. It's about putting a smile on your face even when you feel like shite, it's about initiating conversation with strangers hoping one of them will become your friend. It's about being comfortable being around yourself too much as you try to build that support system all over again. It's about knowing why you are away from home in the first place.

So think about it long and hard. If I had someone in the Philippines, I honestly don't think I'd be here. If I find someone here, I don't think I'd be coming home. It's about finding reasons to stay rather than finding reasons to leave I think.

That in a nutshell are my thoughts =P

----- Original Message ----
From: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Tuesday, 6 February 2007 3:48 PM
To: Paula GamboaS
ubject: Re: Hi!

i know, i know. pero either way, i could have regrets. i guess i just need to decide which course im gonna take and accept everything that comes along with it.

i'll edit my CV muna. how did u do yours? as in super detailed ng tasks per project na ginawa mo? mejo summarized version lang kasi un sa akin.

my ex-officemate, who just recently transferred there, sent me a belated bday greeting. naisip ko lang, sobrang malapit ko ng mag-30. napag-iisipan ko na ang future. kaya medyo magulo ang isip ko. Di ko alam ang gagawin ko sa buhay ko. I’ve been thinking hard about this lately. At gulong-gulo na ang isip ko. I really need other people’s opinions. Alam mo namang I want to work abroad kahit sandali lang before getting married.

HAY…..

Sorry ha, sinama kita dito sa gulo ko. Ewan ko ba. ganito talaga siguro ang tumatanda. Hope you can share your thoughts.

Ingat ka jan.

----- Original Message ----
From: Paula Gamboa
To: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Monday, February 5, 2007 12:48:41 PM
Subject: RE: Hi!

Hahahaha...I prefer boys :P Men to be exact. Hahahaha..'nuff said.
Don't live vicariously through others, it's waay better to live it yourself. And do what makes you happy then you have lesser what-ifs in life. Sometimes when we are impulsive we become better people.
You don't need a shrink...maybe you just need a couple of drinks :P

----- Original Message ----
From: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Thursday, 1 February 2007 3:27 PM
T o: Paula Gamboa
Subject: Re: Hi!

hi, glad to here you're finding your way there. ganyan talaga ang bagong lipat, especially if its a new place and you have no one close to hold on to. the good thing about that is you get to meet new people and make new friends (and you're away from dysfunctional family members. hehe)

im sure you wont do anything you'll regret. even if you do, ok lang yan. bata pa tayo. we're allowed to make mistakes sometimes. hehehe. so don't be too cautious. have fun, especially with boys! or girls, for that matter. whatever you like is fine with me. hehehe.

i have no more kwento. still the same: im a mess. im just floating around. and yes, i live vicariously thru you. because i know i cant will myself to do what you did. maybe i can, but i need to face the threat that i could lose bucky. and that will really devastate me. i know i want to live abroad for a while. kaya lang feeling ko i won't be able to, kasi i have only 3 years before we get married. it sounds bad, but i feel trapped. Im happy with Bucky and the life that we share. it's just that i always have this nagging feeling that i can do so much more than just get married and have kids. when i see that picture in my head, it feels like a dead-end. weird? sometimes i feel guilty that im wanting things for myself, and as a consequence making bucky feel that he's not enough to make me happy. maybe he isnt enough? is that bad? God, i need a shrink.


----- Original Message ----
From: Paula Gamboa
To: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Wednesday, January 31, 2007 6:40:31 AM
Subject: RE: Hi!

I'm enjoying it down under. Haha. Not much action going on but I did go out last night with the guy I met from the plane on the way over. I'm being good, haha. But I am having fun ;) Go figure. Don't worry I won't do anything I will regret, my brain is far smarter than my heart now. He kept me sane last week, he called almost every night (he was in Sydney then). He's leaving Saturday so I need to find another 'diversion' starting next week.

ps - why live vicariously through someone when you can do it yourself. something for you to think about :)

----- Original Message ----
From: January Kristi Migalbin
Sent: Tuesday, 30 January 2007 11:38 PM
To: Paula Gamboa
Subject: Re: Hi!

Hi! Finally, may office email ka na rin!

to be honest, i'm such a mess right now. i know what i want, pero feeling ko, there are so many obstacles and there are so many things i cannot control.

but enough about me. did u meet up with that certain officemate na? what's his name again? any juicy details? did u contact eyos na?

hope u get a house soon. take pictures at padalahan mo ako. i'll live vicariously thru you. hahaha!

Standing on a cliff...

have you ever had the feeling that you were walking towards a cliff? you have just begun to realize that you were walking towards it, and so you feel scared. you panic. and yet you cannot stop walking towards the cliff, because you've been trying to get there for the longest time. and when you suddenly realize that you don't want to fall just yet, you don't know what to do, whether to continue walking towards the cliff or run away from it.

you're scared, and yet you still continue walking. you are afraid, short of breath. there's nobody to help you, nobody to tell you what to do. you reach the edge of the cliff and look down below. nothing is clear, but you know its going to be different down there.

but there are so many things you don't know. will it be better down there? will somebody save you? will you survive the crash? if indeed you survive, can go back to the place from where you jumped? if you don't jump, can you live with the fact that you didn't? will you stop thinking of the what-ifs? why will you not jump in the first place?

if someone was with you walking towards the cliff, will you ask him to jump with you? what if he doesn't want to jump after all? will u leave him? will you ask him to wait? will you come back? will you be happy without him?

there are so many things to be afraid of, so many things unknown. and yet you find yourself at the edge of the cliff.

what will you do?

A-little-over-quarter-life Crisis...

I find myself once again here at OM (overlooking Marikina) of the AdMU school grounds. When I was in college, I often came here to relieve myself of jitters, nerves, anxiety and everything-else-in-between caused by the demands of university life: never-ending papers and presentations, terror professors, surviving a real date, midterms, seeing an F, nursing a broken heart, thesis, orals, and all that. Looking over the distant Marikina, with the quiet cemetery very obvious and very bare, I would often count how many McDonalds signs I could find. Knowing that they were always there, relieved me. Yes, it relieved me.

Funny. I find myself once again here at OM. Yet, it is not college life that led me here, for that life has been over for almost 7 years. Now that I am here again, I wish I had those troubles again. After I graduated, I thought that life would be smooth, that everything would go as planned: get a good-paying job, move up the corporate ladder, save money, travel a little, buy a car, help the family, save money, get married and have kids. And yet, I find myself once again here at OM. And I can’t even begin to think what’s troubling me. I fear that if I think it out loud, or write it down, it would come true, it would be real. And dealing with it would cause much distress that I don’t want to face.

I find myself once again here at OM.

Seven years after college, and I am now 28 years old. Two more years before I reach 30. To people younger than me (especially my officemates), I am ancient. I am at the acceptable marrying age. To people older than me, I am still young, independent, and care-free. I feel that I am neither. At 28, I just feel mostly … trapped.

In my mind, I am still very young. I get freaked out at the thought of being married, of having responsibilities, of having kids, of a lifetime being mature. It seems very tiring. And yet, I also feel old. People whom I’ve known since college, or people my age in the office are getting married, having kids, buying houses and cars.

I know I still want to do things on my own: be independent, buy shoes/bags/clothes/gizmos, as well as travel, without second thoughts or guilt, make decisions without seriously affecting another person’s life, get drunk and have a hangover, have chips and ice cream for breakfast, take up an adventure sport or hobby (like diving or wall climbing).

But. But, I know I have to think about saving and investing money, buying real estate, seriously consider the dangers of childbirth during late 30’s (especially that most of my aunts from my dad’s side all got married late, and as a result, had or are having pre/post natal problems), raising a child, growing old alone, or growing old with one person for the rest of my life…

I don’t want to be mature, and yet, I cannot afford to not act my age. It’s like going through puberty once again. I don’t know if I’m a kid or an adult. I don’t know if I should take myself too seriously or not.

Maybe I’m just in this rut because of my state of mind. Maybe my notions of shallow independence vs. marriage are not as cracked up as I think they are. Maybe I can be 30 (or more), and still be youthful. Maybe I can be mature and still have fun (well, clean fun). Maybe it’s OK to go crazy sometimes and make mistakes when you’re over 30.

Or maybe I’m just plain crazy.

I find myself once again here at OM.

I think I need to go home.

Quotable Quotes from Grey's Anatomy ... (I so love this series!)



"From now on, you can expect that I’m gonna show even if I yell, even if you yell. Im always gonna show up"
-- Derek to Meredith

"I was right. I swear I really believed what I did was right. I don’t want you to forgive me. Frankly, I’ll find it patronizing if you did because while I know I was right, you think I’m wrong. Which doesn’t matter because I’m in this. I’m in this for the long haul. I’m in this to finish the race. So if it means I don’t win this one, then fine, I don’t win. You win."
-- Christina to Burke

Holidays in Davao

If I was stressed out during the holidays in Manila, I was more stressed out with my holidays in Davao.

> Momi Katie, my grandmother’s sister-in-law, died last Dec22 I think. So everyone in Kidapawan and other relatetives in Davao and beyond came to pay respects. It became a reunion of sorts. She was buried on Dec 29. Mom, being her usual self, was hell-bent, though in denial, na makisawsaw sa program. I’m sure her help was appreciated. But I got dragged into the whole thing, which aggravated my stress. I helped prepare the powerpoint presentation for the eulogy. Family issues and dysfunction aside, I was grateful to have had time to hang out with my family and relatives.

> We finally bought an old, yet fully functional, Mitsubishi sedan. Since nobody knew how to drive a stick-shift, I was the designated driver the whole time I was home. I took everybody to their errands: mom to do the grocery & pick up stuff at school, drive lola & the family to and from Momi Katie’s wake, teach Og & Onch how to drive, drive dad or his lunch to and from the airport, go to mass, etc. It was very tiring. I made a resolution not to underestimate the stress from driving, especially if Bucky’s the one driving.

> Dad’s siblings, and their respective spouses and children, celebrated Noche Buena with us. We wrapped small gifts for the children & oldies alike, stacked them under the Christmas tree, and prepared the food. The kids had a great time distributing and opening their gifts. It was a very long and tiring, but happy day.

> A day before the burial, we all went to Costa Marina for some sun and a blast in the beach. The kids had so much fun playing with a big spiky, orange starfish, my camera, and the rental salbabida that 8 hours of horsing under the sun was not enough.

> 2006 was my high school batch’s 10th graduation anniversary. Months before the event, some batchmates residing in Davao planned the whole thing. I contributed by suggesting to have an “awarding” ceremony for the batch. It was fun, we had different awards like “first love never dies”, “hot momma”, “who’s your daddy?”, and a lot more. People had fun choosing the candidates, and applauding the winners.

> New Year. Mom and I bought groceries again for the New Year. We heard mass in St. Paul and headed home to prepare. Since it was Daddy Lando’s first holiday without Mommy Kates, Lola wanted to be with him. So after mass, I, together with mom and dad, drove lola to Maa, initially having negotiated that we stay there till before midnight only. But of course, she changed her mind while we were there. She didn’t want to go home. So Mom, Dad and I went back home, prayed, and celebrated media noche. At around 2am, I went back to Maa and fetched lola. At around 4am, dad woke me up so that I could drive him to the airport. Talk about holiday stress. Hay, it was one of the most stressful Christmas I had. And I thought the car was supposed to make my life easier in Davao. But all’s well, minsan lang naman ako nasa Davao and help around the house.

For this year, majority of us in the family (everybody except mom) wanted to have a “jologs” family portrait, sans pambahay and no makeup. Nainis si mom, but what the heck, we did it anyway.

We also spent the New Year lunch at Daddy Toots house in the northern part of Davao. It was even farther than the airport. He had a cute puppy.

I went back to Manila the next day, which was by the way, my bday.

Divisoria madness (!)




One weekend, Bucky, VC and I braved the Divisoria xmas madness despite a serious threat of migraine due to lack of sleep (we played poker the night before). Scared of the jeeps and getting lost, we left early, like 7am. We almost got lost, thanks to my navigation skills (or the lack thereof), but were able to arrive in Divisoria before 8am. Thankfully, there was more than enough parking in Tutuban Mall when we arrived.


We rushed to Mall 168 since it was the only open place early in the morning. The air was still crisp & cold, but the streets were already getting busy, shoppers eagerly rushing to 168, street hawkers hurriedly setting up their wares. It was a first for VC, and also for Bucky after 4 years, and they took it in full-blast. The mall itself was in frenzy. Besides tinderas and shoppers haggling, there was also a dragon dance going around the whole building that made the place livelier. We left 168 Mall at around 10am, by then, the streets have gone alive. People were literally swarming everywhere. With much bumping & smell of human sweat, we crossed the alley going back to Tutuban Mall.


I promised myself not to spend too much, which after less than a hour, gleefully broke. The lure of discount shopping was just too much. I consoled myself in the fact that I was able to buy a lot of stuff and Christmas gifts with just a little money. As compared to shopping in a normal mall. Nothing beats Divisoria.

Playing poker ...





at Eric’s house. I lost 2 rounds = P100 cost for the night.

We started playing poker last September, I think. Bucky was so eager to play. He learned the rules by watching World Poker Tour on tv, and playing party poker. Anthony, Nina’s boyfriend, had a set of chips so we organized a game, with only Anthony having the most experience. Ever since that first game, we played every Friday, inviting more and more people to join. The most regular players are me, Bucky, VC, Anthony, Nina, Eric, Dino S. Recent additions included Cris Cabigao and gf, and Melissa. We used to play at Good Earth Roasts in Rockwell, but tonight, we decided to have the game at Eric’s place’s rooftop. The waiters have been showing meanness, mostly because we don’t give a tip, unlike Peachy’s group which gives P200 tip per night aside from the buckets of beer and food.

The game bores me most of time, making me impatient and not mindful of my hand. But I do appreciate the interaction of the players and reading betting behavior. It just takes too long sometimes. We usually start at around 9pm and end at 3am the next day. Kakapagod at puyat. I have only won one game ever since we started, mainly because of my impatience.

Christmas Parties!

I was stressed out last Christmas. I wasn’t complaining that there were too many parties to go to, it’s just hard to get up the next day, especially if the party was held during a weekday. We had one for our group, then for the whole IT, then for the whole Smart. In hindsight, I feel grateful for a very fruitful year with S. The company had been very generous for the past year.

The S&P was surprisingly fun. Our theme was “The Prom”, so we brought our dresses, makeup, and high-heeled shoes. The newbies prepared funny presentations, which bought the house down. There was the prom king & queen awarding and, of course, the exchanging of gifts. I got a wireless mouse & keyboard! The tequila and beer were overflowing. I was to go home with Moby, who was drunk and seriously dressing a crush on Ms. Beautiful. After finding him dozing off at the female’s dressing room, we went home, together with Collie. I found out the day after that he doesn’t remember how he was able to drop Collie and how he got home. Crazy dude.

The IT Xmast Party’s theme was “Rockista”. So there was a competition for best Rockista get-up. Newbies from different IT groups also made “presentations”. Even newbie manager Sir Jay Sulangi, donned on a madonna-inspired outfit! It was fun cheering for our newbies and watching them making a fool of themselves. Hahaha!

Smart Corp xmas party was much funner because of the bonus announcement. Harharhar. IT dept bagged the 2nd place of the Christmas presentations done by the employees. There were celebrities (I had a pix taken with Maverick and James, a hottie ex-Smartee Pinoy Idol contender!) and NLN!

Lola’s 75th Bday Party!

I went home to Kidapawan last Nov29 to celebrate Lola’s 75th bday. Attendance was required since 75 na, Diamond year na daw. So even Lola’s siblings residing in Luzon went home: Mama Del, Manay & Tito Noli, Nene Linda. Those already in Davao also went: Daddy Lando & Mommy Kates plus Ate Ping, Ate Jen & kids, Tita Lisa, Lolo Pogi & kids, kaming lahat, Daddy Toots & Mommy Len, Tito Leo & family, Aunty Mimi & family. Basta ang daming tao. We went there using our “new” old 1996 Mistubishi Lancer. Thankfully, Dad did not make me drive because I didn’t have any decent sleep the whole day due to my horrifying overnight experience in the airport. I had a non-revenue ticket because I was running out of money.

We prepared for the party the next day. Aunty Neneng, Aunty Mimi, Tita Lisa, Mama Del, Og cooked the food, while most of us prepared everything else: the “stage”, the dining tables & chairs, cleaned the house and minded the children.

Visitors started pouring in at around 11am and out at around 3pm. By 4pm, we were already packing up. Dad, mom & Onch went home because of work & school, while I decided to stay for another night. Spent the night watching dvd with the kids. I realized that they were growing so fast and I missed most of them growing up.

CAMOTES ISLANDS (Cebu, Nov 2006)

Camotes is composed of 3 major islands in the north-east part of Cebu. “Four islands comprise the Camotes group: Pacijan (San Francisco town), Poro (Poro and Tudela towns), Ponson (Pilar town) and Tulang (an island barangay of San Francisco).” For more details about Camotes, go to http://www.camotesresorts.com.ph/.

I have mixed feelings for Camotes. I like it for being simple, for having kept its provincial appeal, for the very clear waters, interesting beaches and variety of terrain. However, the main problem I saw was the lack of infrastructure (electricity, telecoms, public tanspo) within the island. I guess that’s part of the charm. I just wished that our trip was more comfortable. But all in all, I had a great time in Camotes. View my Camotes photos. View my other Cebu photos: Bantayan and Malapascua


Camotes essential: sturdy booties

Day 1
Taxi to port – P150 (for 2 pax)
Ocean Jet fast craft boat from Cebu Pier 1 to Poro Port – P250/pax (032-2557560), bought roundtrip tickets in advance
Habal-habal from Poro Port to Santiago Bay Resort – P150/pax (032-4203385)
Santiago Bay Resort – P500/rm/day
Dinner at Santiago Bay resort – P350/2pax

Day 2
Breakfast – P200/2pax
Whole day habal-habal rental (inc driver) – P500/day/2 pax
Whole day gas expense (resort-Danao-Mangodlong-resort) – P200/trip/2pax
Lake Danao: Green Lake/Blue Lake registration – P15/pax
Lunch at Mangodlong Rock resort– P400/3pax (same telnum as Santiago Bay resort)
Dinner at Santiago Bay resort – P400/2 pax

Day 3
Habal-habal from Santiago Bay resort to Poro port – P150/pax
Boat from Poro port to Cebu city Pier 1 – P250/pax


Day 1

> Pre-departure preps. From Hagnaya, we arrived in the North Terminal at around 2pm. Bucky felt that worried that we wouldn’t have enough time to unload our stuff, have lunch and buy some supplies. So when the first cab came in, we immediately hailed it. Problem was we hailed it at the NO LOADING zone, hence, a police man stopped the cab. Good thing that Bucky had his IBP card, presented it to the police, and made an excuse that he was in hurry to go to a meeting. The cop bought it and we were free to go.

When we arrived at Bucky’s house, we unloaded dirty clothes, pasalubongs from Bantayan, bought groceries & medicine, and withdrew additional money. I was finally able to unload half of my luggage. After our errands, we took a cab that would take us to the port. There was heavy traffic when on our way to the port, good thing that we left early. The port pre-departure area was surprisingly clean and comfy. There were even restaurants inside. Taxi = P150/trip

> Trip from Cebu to Poro port, Camotes. We took the Ocean Jet fast craft boat from Pier 1 to Poro port. There was only one trip per day, which was at 530pm. We had to decide between the time of arrival against length of travel time. Since we didn’t have the luxury of time, we decided to get the 2-hour trip via the fast craft. I found out in the internet that there were other slower boats which take around 4 hours. Since our departure date was Nov2, meaning, there would be a lot of people trying to get a ticket on the departure date, so we bought our round-trip tickets even before we left for Malapascua. Ocean Jet ticket = P250/pax.

Bucky was harboring a headache while we were waiting for departure in one of the restaurants. It may have been caused by fatigue or heat or both. I was feeling tired myself. We had been traveling for more than 8 hours already without a decent siesta. We both took Bonamine, which made Bucky sleep during the whole 2-hour trip. I wasn’t able to sleep though. The seats were very cramped and we had to cram our luggage in our seats with us. It was a little scary traveling during the night because I couldn’t see any land or any indication that we were actually going somewhere. I was also not sure how long the travel time was so I didn’t know how long the agony would be.

> Trip from Poro port to Santiago Bay Resort. It was 730pm, I think, when we arrived in Poro port. And to my great disappointment and surprise, there weren’t any public vehicles, as in multi-cab or jeeps, going to the resorts. There were only small habal-habals (scooter/motorbike) that was supposed to fit 3 passengers plus luggage. I didn’t arrange for a van to pick us up because it was very expensive (P1,000.00/trip) and I assumed that there would be at least jeepneys waiting for arriving passengers. Well, it turned out that I was wrong. Having no choice but to ride the habal-habal, we took the 1st driver who approached us and immediately discussed the price. It was agreed to be P150/trip/pax. I still couldn’t believe that 3 people (driver, me, bucky), two of whom were fairly large (meaning me & Bucky), plus our luggage (2 backpacks, 1 shoe bag, 1 tote bag) could fit on the scooter seat. The ride was pretty uncomfortable for me as I was squashed between the driver (who had a nasty BO, which I didn’t notice when we were still haggling for the price) and Bucky, plus our luggage. After I got the hang of just hanging between them, I began to notice how much of a probinsya Camotes was. For miles, I could only see crop (corn, I think), several distant houses with no light, and darkness. From Poro port and the main barangay to Santiago Bay resort, there wasn’t a single street light. For most of the trip, the light only came from the moon. And the wind was very cold and it was a clear night. The trip was a new experience, a little uncomfortable, but strangely … romantic. Habal-habal = P150/pax, maximum of 2 passengers (excluding the driver).

> At Santiago Bay resort. We arrived at Santiago Bay resort at around 8pm. The trip took about 30 minutes. As I had expected, there was a brown-out so there wasn’t any light. From the road where we got off, I could already see the white-sand profile of Santiago Bay, even in the darkness. We were greeted by an old gwardya and were led to the candle-lit restaurant cum reception lobby. To my great surprise, our reservation, which I made even before I left for Cebu, was not communicated to the resort staff. I only reserved for a standard room for 2 pax, all of which were occupied according to the resident senior staff. I told her that I made a reservation to a certain someone thru their telnum (see above). She had the right sense to offer a bigger room for the same price. Otherwise, I would’ve given a bitch fit, considering that I was really tired, hungry, and dirty. We dumped our stuff in the room and went down the stairs leading to the beach. It was beautiful and serene in a strange way, having only the moon as our source of light. Even though it was dark, we could see that the water was clean and clear. I went into the shin-high water, tempting myself to take a dip. If not for exhaustion and fear of swimming alone (Bucky was about to fall over), I would’ve done exactly just that. I had been wanting to go night-swimming but never got the chance to in Malapascua and Bantayan. Having nothing else to do and beginning to feel really tired and hungry, we went back to the restaurant for dinner.

I was surprised to see that the prices in the menu only ranged from P70-100 per ulam which were already good for 2 people per order. Both of us wanted a heavy and hot soup, but they didn’t have any stock so we ended up ordering 2 ulam of whatever they had and rice. They didn’t have any stock of drinks, as well, except for water. The food was worse than the food in Kota Beach resort. Purya-gaba. But having no other choice, given that we didn’t know if there were other resorts nearby, there was a brown-out, and we were both very tired, we finished half of what we ordered and went back to our room and washed up. Before we slept, the electricity thankfully came back. So we didn’t have to suffer the stuffiness and mosquitoes. Bucky slept at around 9pm, he was very drowsy from taking Bonamine. I had to list our expenses for the day so I slept an hour later.

Oh, there’s also no SMART signal in the resort. GLOBE signal is strong, however. At least, there’s at least one. The place isn’t totally isolated from the rest of the world.

Day 2

> 1st Sunrise in Santiago Bay. We started our first official day early. It was just around 530am when we got up and changed into our swimming gear. It was a little cloudy when we woke up so the pictures weren’t as good as I expected. Though the effect of white sunlight bursting out of the dark clouds was eerie but strangely serene and beautiful. Like God was going to appear in the sky anytime.
We explored the resort and found a several viewing decks. The place felt very peaceful and quiet. After about 30 minutes, we went back to the restaurant for breakfast, which was thankfully better than dinner.

> Swimming, exploring Santiago Bay. After breakfast, we hurriedly went down the stairs leading to the beach/bay. The tide was high, the water was clean and surprisingly warm. The beach was dotted with so many dead big, purple jellyfish. The sight was a first for me. Bucky kept on saying kadiri! yuck! but was always trying to get near them to take pictures. Jellyfish must be pretty stupid creatures.

We explored the part of the beach under the rock/cliff where the resort was built. There were small pool areas which the resort must have made minor improvements on. After taking pictures under the cliff, we waded into the larger part of the beach. There was a cove just beyond the cliff of the resort which Bucky wanted to swim to, but it looked very far and we’d have to cross stretches of grassy shore (which I couldn’t stand) so we put it off until the tide receded.

> Green Lake & Blue Lake Parks at Lake Danao. At around 9am, the habal-habal driver, whom we contracted the night before, arrived to take us around the island. Since we only allotted half-day for the trip, we decided to go only to Lake Danao and Mangodlong Rock resort, which were also managed by the same owner of Santiago Bay resort. The first leg of our habal-habal trip was not as uncomfortable as the previous night. I guess I got used to being squashed between men on a very small scooter. The trip took from Santiago Bay resort to Lake Danao took about 40 minutes. The resort was at the Pacijan island, while Lake Danao was a little farther north of Poro port in Poro island. So the trip was longer. We passed by the same road we passed the other night.

Our first stop was the Green Lake park. It was a little patch of manicured lawn and shrubs, plus semi-concrete lakeside viewing area. The sky turned overcast while we were at Lake Danao, giving the lake a greater sense of stillness and mystery, as though the lady of the lake has hushed everything up. Not even the wind was rustling the leaves. We took several pictures and then headed off to Blue Lake park, which was at another part of the lake that we reached after a 10-minute ride. Registration = P15/guest (driver not included).

Blue Lake park had better viewing decks and sitting areas/huts. There was a mini-dock floating at the edge of the lake. A utility person was cleaning the vicinity of the lake when we arrived. Another group also arrived just shortly after we did. After taking several pictures at the dock, we followed a path that led to a covered sitting area already occupied with guests. By this time, a slow drizzle passed of the lake so we were stuck in the sitting area for about 30 minutes. Bucky & I dozed off for a little while unintentionally. The drizzle made the whole lake look darker and more sinister. Our driver informed us that there was a mini-island at the middle of the lake and we could rent a bangka to get us there. I was also told that guests can do fishing in the lake and have the staff cook the catch. We decided against the other activities, both knowing that we couldn’t afford the time and the expense. We made our way back to the parking area and left for Mangodlong Rock resort.

> Lunch and swimming at Mangodlong Rock resort. Mangodlong resort is also in Pacijan island. So we went south again towards Santiago. The clouds finally let up and gave us sunshine. By the time we arrived Mangodlong, I was squinting from the brightness of the sun against the white sand beach. It was just sad that the resort built the restaurant on top of a very large part of the beach. There was lesser room for people to relax and sunbathe. We, together with the driver, had lunch at the ‘abominable’ restaurant, then hit the water. Lunch = P450/3pax.

The resort was surprisingly full of day-guests, like us. Most of them occupied the day cottages atop the big rocks just a few feet from the shore. We explored the rocks and took some great photos. Thanks to the now-cloudless sky, the pictures turned out great. There were a lot of jellyfish in Mangodlong also. And of course, Bucky took their pictures again, sans yuck! and kadiri!

At around 2pm, we showered then headed back to Santiago Bay.

> Exploring the un-named “cemetery” cove. The tide was so low that we were able to walk under the cliff/rock of the resort to get to the cove which Bucky wanted to go to earlier. Thank God for booties, we didn’t suffer any cuts from walking on the sharp stones. Upon approaching the shore of the un-named cove, we realized that it was a cemetery. It felt abandoned and dirty. There was another cove behind the cemetery cove but we didn’t explore it anymore, fearing that the tide would go up fast (and we’d have to swim back. Yikes!) and assuming that there was nothing to see. So after taking some pictures, we made our way back to the Santiago Bay beach. We passed by many starfish and corals on the shore.

Contrary to what I feared, the tide was still very low when we got back to the beach. The tide has receded so much that even the grassy part of the bay was only waist-high. And since I wasn’t very fond of sea grass, Bucky and I just sat down at the shin-high water and waited for the water to come in and the sun to set. Both in vain. The water didn’t come back and there was too much clouds so we didn’t have any Camotes sunset pictures. The thick white clouds and the almost-setting sun gave an “alien” feeling to the beach. If you’d just shut out the walking noisy Koreans nearby, it felt like being in another planet. Bucky got so bored waiting for the sunset that he started catching small crabs on the sand. He managed to catch one, which we took pictures of, and set it free. Dehydrated, exhausted, almost-sunburned and having given up on the sunset and the tide, we slowly made our way back to our room to shower and get ready for dinner.

> Dinner & masahe. We had another blah-dinner at the resort. But it didn’t really bother us anymore because we were so tired. After dinner, paying for the room, and playing a round of chiki-cha, we retired in our room and called the masahista. Bucky went first while I fixed our stuff. We were going to leave very early the next day to catch the 6am trip from Poro to Cebu. Bucky fell asleep more from exhaustion than from the masahe. When it was my turn, I also got very drowsy but not because of the masahe. I don’t think the masahista knew what she was doing. Masahe = P250/pax/1hour

Day 3

> Trip from Poro to Cebu. We woke up very early next day, around 4am. Having been unable to night-swim, I planned to swim at 4am. I went down to the beach, and to my dismay, the tide still hasn’t gone up. So I was resigned to do some final packing and waiting for the first burst of sunrise. When we left Santiago Bay at 5am, the sun hasn’t fully come up. By the third day, I had become an expert in riding the habal-habal. I wasn’t scared of bumps or sudden curves on the road. On our way to Poro, we passed through cliffs overlooking the bay. By this time, the sun had come up and the color it painted in the sky was beautiful. When we arrived in Poro port, the sun has fully come up and was bursting with yellow and orange hues in the sky. And this sight was directly in front of the port. I hurriedly took pictures before boarding the boat.

The boat trip back to the city was the beginning of the end of my great Cebu adventure. I was so thankful that a magnificent sunrise ended it. A sign of great things to come.

BANTAYAN Island (Cebu, Nov 2006)

Bantayan is an island at the northwest part of Cebu. It is supposedly the “egg basket” of the Philippines, as such, the island was given dispensation or exemption by the Vatican from fasting during the Holy Week. The center of the Holy Week celebration in Bantayan is the centuries-old church built in 1580. It is also home to the more delicious variety of danggit and other salted dried fish.

As for me, Bantayan is an island of great beaches, sunrise & sunset. Among a million other great things. View my Bantayan photos View my other Cebu photos: Camotes and Malapascua

For more information on resorts in the island, click on http://www.bantayan.net/ or http://xoops.bantayan.net/modules/xyp4all/topten.php?hit=1

Disclaimer: Prices, activities, schedules, telnums, etc. were valid when we were there. This info may have changed as of reading.

Summary of activities & expenses:

Kota Beach Resort – P770/room/day

There are other bigger & newer cottages. Prices range from P1,500- 3,000/cottage. Good for 4-6 pax/cottage. See telnum below

Day 1
Jeep from Maya pier to Don Pedro – P25/pax (see my Malapascual blog)
Tricycle from Don Pedro to Hagnaya – P50/trip
Boat from Hagnaya to Sta. Fe – P140/pax (see telnum below)
Tricycle from Sta. Fe pier to Kota Beach resort – P50/trip
Lunch/Dinner at Kota beach resort – P150-200/meal/pax

Day 2
Breakfast in Kota beach resort - P120-150/meal/pax
Tricycle to Sta. Fe beach club – P20/trip
Tricycle to St. Bernard beach resort – P40/trip
Lunch at St. Bernard - P150-200/meal/pax
Dinner at Marisquiera – P170-200/meal/pax

Day 3
Breakfast in Kota beach resort - P120-150/meal/pax
Trisikad from Kota to Ogtong Beach resort – P20/pax
Entrance fee at Ogtong – P100/pax
Lunch at Ogtong - P150-200/meal/pax
Trisikad from Ogtong Beach to Kota beach resort – P20/pax
Round-trip tricycle fare from Kota to Bantayan town market – P300/trip
Danggit – P80/250grams
Dinner at Marisquiera – P170-200/meal/pax

Day 4
Breakfast in Kota beach resort - P120-150/meal/pax
Trisikad from Kota beach resort to pier – P20/trip
Boat from Sta. Fe to Hagnaya – P140/pax
Bus from Hagnaya to Cebu City – P85/pax

How we got there:

> From Malapascua island, we started our way south going to Bantayan Island. When we arrived in Maya (see my previous blog about Malapascua), there weren’t any busses going south to Cebu, so we boarded a jeep for Bogo. It would take us a little over 1 hour to get to ‘skina (“eskina”, which means “road”, I think) Don Pedro, get down, and ride a tricycle to Hagnaya port. Jeep P50/pax. Tricycle P50/trip.

If you’re coming from Cebu city, there are busses in the Cebu North Terminal with signs “Hagnaya”. There are also “public” vans/v-hires and cars for hire for a more comfortable trip.

> It was just 30 minutes before departure when we arrived in the Hagnaya port. It felt like the Amazing Race. Good thing that the boat (Super Shuttle) wasn’t full and we were still able to get tickets. I was surprised to see that there were 2 other lines operating between Hagnaya and Sta. Fe. The boat trip took about 1 hour. As expected, the trip was uneventful. There were noisy Korean kids running around, and a B-movie was playing in the TV. I started shooting the profile of the island when didn’t appear too small in the camera screen, and I could see the white shoreline.

Boats from HAGNAYA (Cebu) to STA. FE (Bantayan Island)

1) Super Shuttle (032-2323150) 1 hour, P140/pax
Hagnaya To Sta. Fe - 7:00 Am / 10:30 Am / 12:30 Pm
Sta.Fe To Hagnaya - 8:30 Am / 12:30 Pm / 4:00 Pm

2) Aznar Fast Craft (032-4352065) 30mins only, P168/pax
Hagnaya To Sta. Fe - 8:30 Am / 11:00 Am / 3:30 Pm
Sta.Fe To Hagnaya - 10:15 Am / 1:30 Pm / 4:30 Pm

3) Island Shipping (032-4352078) P168/pax
Hagnaya To Sta. Fe - 6:30 Am / 9:30 Ma / 12:30 Pm / 1:30 Pm / 5:30 Pm
Sta.Fe To Hagnaya - 5 Am / 7:30am / 9:30 Am / 11:30 Am / 3 Pm

Day 1:

> It was around 12 noon when we arrived at Hagnaya port. Unlike other ports I’ve been to, the water around the port was actually clean & clear. From the Port, facing the island, we saw Sta Fe beach at the right side of the port & Kota beach at the left in all their “white” glory. I was ecstatic. If we didn’t have our luggage, I would have jumped into the water immediately. Haha! Exaj.

> From the pier, a lot of tricycle drivers, habal-habal (scooter) drivers, vendors and jeep barkers were trying to get us to hire them. We took a tricycle and were at the resort in less than 5 minutes. Tricycle P50/trip.

> Check-in and lunch at the Kota Beach Resort (32-2542726/2545661). We dropped off our bags in our room, which was dismally old & crummy, but nonetheless clean, and went straight to the beach. The brightness of the sun reflecting on the white beach took my breath away. Parang kumikinang ang sand. The beach was beautiful. And there weren’t any people loitering around, which made it feel exclusive. While waiting for our lunch to be served, Bucky & I took a gazillion pictures along the shore.

The bottled water was so expensive! A liter, that costs P20 in the grocery, costs P60 in the resort. Crazy! We only knew the day after that a small market about 200 meters from the resort sold cheap bottled water, and was open 24 hours. Lunch P150-200/meal/pax. Room P770/night.

> Swimming, exploring, siesta-by-the-beach, playing cards. Our vacation in Bantayan Island officially started. We checked out the west side of the island, which was to the right of Kota beach. Mejo mahaba pala ung beach so we only walked as far as the last resort we could see. There were Budyong & Yoonek beach resorts in this stretch. The sand wasn’t as fine & as white as Boracay, but it was clean, and it had the “proven?al” appeal. And also unlike Boracay, there weren’t any flashy resorts, malls or stores, no pesky masahista and vendors. The locals, especially the children, were friendly, and most of the time, curious. I guess they were more curious of our camera and tripod than of us. The Budyong-Yooneek shoreline, was peppered with old and beaten wooden outrigger bangkas. When we were strolling, children were helping their father and/or eldest brother untangle the fishing nets. It really felt like the probinsya: simple, quiet though friendly, and humble.

> After taking our first sunset pictures in Bantayan, we had a blah-dinner at the resort, showered, and retired for the night. It was a very tiring day. I also felt the first pangs of sunburn on my shoulders that day.

Day 2:

> Catching the 1st sunrise in Bantayan. The resort was more beautiful during sunrise than it is most of the day. Even though it was a little cloudy, the sun rose out slowly, radiating the whole blue sky with hues of orange and yellow. The tide was high, the water unusually warm, and the whole place was … still.

> Exploring Sta. Fe. After breakfast, which was the only redeeming meal in the resort, we decided to explore the island further. We hired a tricycle for a trip to the east side of the island, where Sta. Fe Beach & St. Bernard resorts were. Sta. Fe Beach resort was disappointing. The pictures from the internet were very impressive, but when we got there, the resort was small, though the beach was nice, considering that it was very near the pier. We just took some pictures of the “watawats” (as Bucky puts it) and the beach, then decided to go to St. Bernard at Barangay Ocoy. We took a tricycle again, which the driver charged us P40. Little did we know that St. Bernard resort was just a short walk away. St. Bernard resort was a narrow lot with about 10 circular concrete huts. The resort was kinda disappointing also, though I expected it to be not really nice because the huts were inexpensive. We walked further east from St. Bernard and came across a quaint beach house, a deserted-looking hut, and a shady empty lot with vines & little purple flowers. By this time, it was very hot and windless, so we took a dip. Like Kota, the beach in Sta. Fe had a long, grassless shore, that during low tide, you’d have to walk far before the water reaches your chin. Total tricycle fare = P60 (2 trips: Kota to Sta. Fe, Sta-Fe to St. Bernard in Ocoy).

> Lunch at St. Bernard resort. We went back to St. Bernard Resort for lunch. I had the sizzling lapu-lapu, while Bucky had pork snitchzel. The food was OK, way better than Kota Beach resort. The serving per meal was for 2 people, but we finished both our meals. Why do we get so hungry at the beach? P150 – 200/meal/pax.

> Walk back from St. Bernard to Kota Beach resort. We were so full after lunch that we decided to walk back to the resort, even though the sun was freaking hot. Figured that it was also a good way to explore the Sta. Fe beach, and get rid of all the calories we downed from lunch. There were a lot of houses, bangkas & mothers screaming for their children to quit swimming and have lunch. We passed by a barangay, crossed the pier, and reached the Kota-side of the shoreline. The tide was so low that we could see thousands of mini-crablets (yes, they were smaller than crablets, hence mini na, crablet pa), crawling frantically back into their holes when they felt us approaching. Initially, I thought they were dirt, or pieces of wood washed ashore. And then they moved & disappeared in the sand. When we reached the beach by the lagoon, we couldn’t help but take a dip. It was just so inviting! The water was clear and the shore was grassless, besides, the sun was up, it was so hot and we were sweating like pigs because of the long walk. By the time we got back to Kota Beach resort, we were hungry again. After merienda, siesta, more swimming & picture-taking, it was sunset again and time for dinner.

> We had to go out in search for dinner because the food in the resort wasn’t good. Most of the trisikad drivers recommended a Portugese resto near the mercado or market. So not knowing where else to go, and not wanting to eat in the resort, we ended up hiring a trisikad for Marisquiera. It was a big, open-air resto, with native/local furniture & design mixed with European, not just Portugese, flags, shirts, and what-have-you. It was a rather eclectic mix. Even the cuisine, the customers, and the owners were … mixed. The food was way better & more “exotic” than the food in Kota and St. Bernard. We wanted to try so many foreign-sounding dishes but we could only order 2 different meals. Bucky had a beef meal with fries, while I had the red curry chicken. Both meals were very spicy, we ended up downing beers and 2 pinipig crunch ice cream bars. I didn’t care about my dieta anymore. I was praying that I’d lose all the calories from swimming & walking around the island. Feeling guilty for eating so much food, we just walked home back to the resort. We played a round of chiki-cha by the beach while waiting to get drowsy. While we were at the beach, we could hear a group of people in one of the cottages playing poker. Bucky couldn’t help but be inggit coz he knew that VC and his friends were playing poker in Manila during that time. We didn’t have poker chips so couldn’t play on our own. After 3 rounds of chicki-cha, we got sleepy and went back to our room to retire for the night. Dinner = P170-200/meal/pax.

Day 3:

> We saw the best sunrise on our 3rd day in Bantayan. We also met a cute kid named Valerie, and her mom Rosette. After breakfast we decided to go to Ogtong Cave & resort.

> Ogtong Cave & Resort was farther up in the island. We took a trisikad & were there in around 15mins. The resort was on a low cliff that extended to a beach. The resort was clean, nice and well-kept. It was owned also by the owner of Sta. Fe Beach Club. Ogtong cave was actually just a little hole in the ground/rocks that had a fresh-water pool. The resort made a staircase down to the underground pool, and attached lights on the overhead rocks so that people can swim towards the farther end of the pool. It felt creepy when we first came in because the pool was kinda dark and full of shadows. Good thing people were already there when we came in. The water was cool and surprisingly very clear. And there were small fish! It was hard to gauge the depth of the water because it was dark, we ended up banging our knees and legs against the rocks on the shallow parts. There were also parts in the pool that became suddenly deep and slippery. I wouldn’t recommend it for unattended small kids who don’t know how to swim.

We had lunch after our refreshing dip in the cave. I had the best chopseuy in years. Bucky also raved about his grilled beef tips. After lunch we went around the resort, took some pictures, and went down the beach. Like everywhere else in the island, the beach in Ogtong had a long grassless shore of pristine white sand. It was also low tide when we were there, but that didn’t stop us from wading in the cool, shallow waters and taking some more pictures.

Bucky & I were so amazed by the underground pool at the cave that we decided to stay there for another hour. Swimming in the fresh-water pool was a refreshing break from the salty beach.

> Trip to Bantayan town, market, & Bantayan church. We went back to Kota beach resort, showered and prepared for our trip to Bantayan town proper. We hired a tricycle who agreed to take us there and back for P300. The trip to the town took about 30 minutes. We passed by barangays, the island cemetery (which was very crowded with visitors and vendors), old houses, and stores. Bantayan town is a small and quiet town, with a plaza, church & market all within walking distance from one another. Our first stop in the town was the market. We bought danggit and other varieties of salted dried fish, for which the town was famous for. After we bought our danggit, we went to Bantayan Church. Besides being famous for its age (it was constructed 1580, I think), it’s also famous for its Lenten activities. The whole Bantayan was given dispensation or exemption from fasting by Vatican. I guess that’s one of the reasons why the island is especially busy during Lent. It was so quiet in the church when we got in that I couldn’t help but whisper. I even felt hiya about taking pictures for a moment. I said a little prayer, also asking permission to take photos. It was amazing to see how old the church was: the walls were made of blocks of coral stone, the big church doors looked heavy and old, and the design in the glass windows looked very aged too, though I don’t believe that they were installed since 1580. After taking photos, we went out to light candles and offer prayers. After all, it was All Soul’s Day.

> Catching the last sunset in Bantayan. It was just before sunset when we arrived at Kota from our trip to Bantayan town. The last sunset turned out to be the best in our 3-day stay in the island. We swam and took pictures by Budyong beach until it the sun was totally gone.

> Dinner at Marisquera again. Since we weren’t able to taste the other exotic-sounding dishes the night before, we decided to eat at the Portuguese restaurant again. We had pork Bitoque, pinakbet, and beer.

> I wanted to go night-swimming but Bucky & I were so tinatamad to change and shower again. So we decided to pack our bags because we had to leave early the next day.

Day 4:

> Breakfast at the resort & taking pictures of the last sunrise. We woke up at 5am again to catch the sunrise by Budyong beach. Took great pictures.

> Back to Cebu city. We had to catch the 830am boat to Hagnaya (see schedule above), and catch the earliest available bus to Cebu City so we would have enough time to unpack, change bags/clothes, and buy food & medicine for our trip to Camotes Islands. We were able to buy tickets for the 830am trip. Trisikad = P20/trip. Boat = P140/pax.

Thank God, the next bus for Cebu city was airconditioned. The trip was better compared to the one we took with the non-aircon bus to Maya. There was a stop-over in one town where passengers were given time to pee, stretch, and buy some lunch. We had 3 hotdogs and 4 puso for lunch. And we ate it on the bus because there wasn’t enough time for a sit-down lunch at the karinderya. Bus Ticket = P85/pax.

> After around 4 hours, we arrived in the city, got into a cab (which was stopped by a police because we loaded the taxi at a no-loading area. Buti na lang, lawyer si Bucky at nasindak ang police), went to his house, dropped off dirty clothes and other unnecessary stuff, had lunch, bought groceries and medicine for my allergies (I think I ate too much eggs), and left for Cebu Pier 1 to catch our 530pm trip to Poro Port.

Total Expenses: P8,406.00 (for 2 pax)

I had such a great time at Bantayan that I plan to take my family there for a vacation when I have the money. The place isn’t too expensive and not too far either.

Next stop: Camotes!

MALAPASCUA ISLAND (Cebu, Nov 2006)


Here is a chronicle of our adventure in Malapascua. The entry below contains activities, prices, and other details that might be useful.

Just an aside, we used my Olympus SW720 water+shockproof “caseless” camera. I cannot ask for anything more from a camera. We had so much fun using it during the whole trip! Imagine, a camera that you can take anywhere, without worrying that it’ll get wet or banged around. Even strangers would look surprised when they see us taking the camera into the water, or throwing it around. Amazing! View my Malapascua photos. View my other Cebu photos: Bantayan and Camotes

Disclaimer: All info in the entry below was valid & accurate during our stay there. Prices, routes, schedules, etc. may have changed as of reading.

We start at the farthest/northernmost island in Cebu, Malapascua. It's more famous for its dive spots and sightings of thresher sharks. I'm no diver, but I'm still very glad that I visited this tiny island. The water was clean, the beach was quiet, you could sleep under the shade without a care and there aren't too many pesky peddlers around.

For more details on the island, go to http://www.malapascua.de/

How we got there:
> Went to Cebu City North Bus Terminal

> Got in CERES (or any) bus with sign "Maya via Bagay". This took us to the Maya pier where bangkas going to the island are waiting. Aircon at 8am (P85), non-aircon every 30mins (P70).

> It's was low tide at the Maya pier when we arrived, so the big bangkas going to the island are too far from the shore. We were transported by mini-outriggerless-bangkas or "taxis" to the big bangkas. The water is only about knee deep high, but we'd have to walk very far and risk our stuff getting wet, so we opted for the water taxis. People being ferried by the water taxis stay still for about 5mins, otherwise the taxi could turn over. P10/pax.

> The big bangkas wait for at least 10 people before leaving. The fare was paid at a booth in the pier. P40/pax.

Day 1:

> Check in at Palm Place. It's about 250 mtrs away from Bounty Beach. Not beach front, but not too far naman. We didn't mind the distance so long as the room and CR/shower were clean. The staff was very helpful too. There was no electricity when we arrived because the generators are only turned on from 4pm-6am (of the following day). P500/day/rm.

[For information on other resorts, click the link above.]

> Lunch at Blue Water Resort. The food took so long to be served! Around P150-P200/meal/pax.

> Picture-taking, beach-bumming, swimming . Though not as fine as Boracay, the sand in Bounty Beach is so clean & white. There’s lots of sea grass along the beach though. I guess that's part of its appeal. There are large grassless areas in the water where Bucky & I swim. I'm scared of swimming by the grassy areas Imagine not knowing if there are creepy crawling creatures that you can't see in the grass. Yikes!

> Dinner at La Dolce Vita. This is a restaurant owned by an Italian couple who fell in love with the island and decided to make it their home for 6 months every year. The restaurant is in a beach opposite of Bounty Beach. It's like being transported to a GB3 resto with a beach for a view. The food was great, too. We had a meaty pizza, chili-garlic spaghetti, and red wine. Around P200-300/meal/pax.

> Massage at the cottage. After dinner, the aleng masahista came by. After an hour under the magic hands of the masahista, the whole day felt perfect: beach, good food, and a relaxed body before going to sleep. What else could I ask for? P250/hr/pax.

Day 2:

> First sunrise in Malapascua. We got up at around 530am to catch the sunrise. It wasn’t such an effort because we slept at around 9pm the previous night. Who wouldn’t, after the very relaxing masahe?

> Breakfast at GingGing’s Eatery. To get to this place from the beach, we looked for the “Sunsplash” sign/arrow. A narrow road leads to Sunsplash Resort & Resto and to the houses farther into the island. We reached a clearing and dirt road and La Isla Bonita Restaurant, turned left at the dirt road, walked a little farther and saw the sign. The food in this place was cheaper and as good as, if not better, than the most of restos at the beach front. A lot of people eat in this place, especially during breakfast and lunch. Yummy mango pancakes! P100-150/meal/pax. We also had our distilled water-bottles refilled here for only P10/liter. A new 1-liter bottle bought in the beach front costs around P35-50. Bucky & I drink at least 3-4 liters of bottle a day, so we saved quite a lot, enough, I think for a merienda.

> Snorkeling around the island. A lot of “canvassers” approached us during Day1, asking if we wanted to go snorkeling. The prices were usually P600 for a half day trip, no matter how many you are. The max num per trip will depend on the size of the boat. We agreed to the price when a lone Italian tourist, named Silvio, agreed to share the expense with us. So P600 was divided into 2, for which Silvio will pay P300, and we pay the other P300. Mask rental was P100/day/pax. We started snorkeling at the Coral garden. There were lots of corals, but some, if not most are dead. Well, at least they looked dead to me, comparing the corals to those in Pandan Island. There were only a few, small fishies. The next stop was the Blue Coral garden. Madaming blue corals dun, not too many fish, and super strong currents. Bucky was getting mad at me because I wouldn’t leave his side. The dead corals looked scary! I couldn’t help thinking that a sea monster might suddenly appear and eat me. Hahaha! The next stop was the supposedly sunken Japanese ship. It didn’t look like a ship, but the skeletons of a boat (I guess) were there. Dami na ring corals na nakadikit. It looked scary. The last stop was at the islets (I forgot the names) seen from Bounty beach. It was already lunch time so the tide was low. We hadn’t anticipated the depth of the water so when we jumped from the bangka, we hit the stones & corals. I was wearing my booties when I hit the water & stones. Sharp rocks cut Bucky’s right foot. Good thing that sea water is a natural anti-septic, so we didn’t worry about infection. Those cuts made me worry, not so much because of infection, but because it might ruin the day for Bucky. Thankfully, he got over the pain quickly. The corals were more alive in the islets, and there were more fish than the 3 previous sites. Total expense for the snorkeling was P250/pax.

> Lunch at Cocobana Restaurant. After a very tiring morning, both of us ate full meals, plus mango milkshakes. The Thai chili-basil chicken and weird-sounding-sausage meals were great. That, or sobrang gutom lang kami. Goodbye, half-rice/low-carb diet. P150-200/meal/pax.

> Picture-taking, beach-bumming, swimming, siesta-by-the-beach. After snorkeling and a filling lunch, plus the cool sea breeze, we couldn’t help but be drowsy. With just our sarong & a spot under the shade of the coconut trees, we had our siesta. We woke up after about an hour, then further explored the east-side of the island. There were more resorts: Sunset, Exotic. There was a large clearing/ grassless beach were we swam & took pictures the whole afternoon. Thank God for the great weather.

> Dinner at La Dolce Vita. We wanted to try the other dishes we couldn’t order the night before. We had the platter of assorted cold cuts, spaghetti pomodoro, and a pork-in-tomato sauce meal. Everything was superb.

> Happy hour at Blue Water resort. We finished dinner at around 730pm so we had more than enough time para masulit ang happy hour. Actually, the only available drinks are gin-sprite and rhum-coke. Hahha! But 3 orders (of buy 1 take one) were enough to make us tipsy. We had drinks by the beach, with only a lampara and drinks on our table. Bucky & I just talked the night away until we got tipsy and sleepy. P80/order (2 glasses/order).

Day 3:

> Breakfast at GingGing’s Eatery. We woke up at 630am for an early breakfast. We still had to prepare & pack our stuff before leaving.

> It was time to leave the island. The first bangka to leave Malapascua for Maya leaves at 8am. The “terminal” is at a booth along Blue Water resort. It was also low tide when we arrived in Maya, so we had to take the water taxis again to get to the pier. Big bangka P40/pax. Water taxi P10/pax.

Well, some good things have to end. I hope to see you again, Malapascua!

Next stop: Bantayan island!