people in our lives

in life you will realize that the people you meet have a purpose.

some were put there to test you, some would use you, some would teach you, and some would bring out the better if not the best in you..

some may even cause u pain & heartache..

but one must learn to move on..

so let go of the people who don't treat you right and hold on to those who love you back and see your worth.

last night, i was reviewing my photos... i realized that i can never escape from my past. no matter how i want to start from a clean slate...

i'm not frustrated that i cant.

i just realized that i can never start from scratch. there will always be baggage. we shed some along the way. but we always carry their traces...

the weird thing is, i don't feel scarred. i know i can still fall in love. i can be loved. and not be afraid.

lessons to learn, relearn, and learn yet again...

thanks, Mickee =)

LOVING EACH OTHER: Some Solicited Advice

1. Don't think in terms of forever. Think of now, and forever will take care of itself.
2. Grow up together, constantly.
3. Expect to invest a great deal of time and energy in your relationship.
4. Lasting relationships don't just happen, they are created.
5. Recognize that all relationships cannot be forever. Recognize their temporary quality, but continue to act as if they are permanent.
6. Respect the other person's relationships apart from you. If they are important to the one you care about, they should be important to you.
7. Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations.
8. Take your time.
9. Remove price tags from people. Everyone has worth; the excitement lies in the discovery of their value.
10. Don't be afraid of giving. You can never give too much, if you're giving willingly.
11. Don't feel as if you are required to spend every waking hour with those you love. Move aside from time to time and allow them a separate space too.
12. Never force anyone to do anything for you in the name of love. Love is not to be bargained for.
13. Don't be afraid.
14. Don't overanalyze your relationships.
15. Realize that you always have choices. It's up to you.
16. Remember that a relationship is a pooling of resources. It means that with each relationship you are not only giving, but you are becoming more.
17. Don't allow relationships to burden your heart; rather use it to become more aware and sensitive.
18. Don't smother each other. No one can grow in shade.
19. Don't lose in touch with the craziness in you. This, with a large dose of caring, will assure that your relationship will never be boring.
20. Don't brood. Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever.
21. Don't hold on to anger. they steal your energy and keep you from love.
22. There are times when you want to give up on a relationship but never give up on relating.
23. Learn to listen. You don't learn anything from hearing yourself talk.
24. Expect what is reasonable, not what is perfect.
25. Write down all the reasons why you love each person you relate with.
26. Then, when the going gets tough, take the list out and reread it. It resolves problems quickly.
27. After an argument is over, forget it.
28. Don't become involved in pettiness, ego and childish hurts. Those will only serve to degrade your relationship and prevent closeness.
29. Learn to bend. It's better than breaking.
30. Since love can be created, there is no reason to be loveless.
31. Even though you are only half of a relationship, you must remain a whole person, apart from the relationship.
32. Remember that moral and spiritual values don't restrict, they protect.
33. Don't fall in love with love, you'll die with its complexities.
34. Don't allow your relationships to die of neglect.

So, JLo is in it... this is in one of my favorite movies. here's one of the reasons why...

“All these promises that we make and we break...Why is it that you think people get married?

Because we need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, I mean what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything...the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mondane things...all of it, all the time, everyday. You're saying... Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.”

~ Beverly Clark
Shall We Dance

"Once the decision has been made, don’t look back.

Do not second-guess, and do not regret a decision.

Put the "what ifs" aside.

It was the right thing to do at the time.

Now focus on what is right at this time."

can't wait for my life to begin

it's strange. i feel sad. but i do feel at peace right now. knowing that i can be anywhere i want to be, knowing that i have a choice on how my life should pan out. i think that's the peace im looking for.

does that mean i know what i want? no, not yet. but you never really know, do you? i will find that out, someday. and i will make mistakes along the way. like i said, i will surely disappoint a lot of people, including myself. but making mistakes and learning from them is something i am willing to go through. it is MY life, afterall.

right now, i don't see the point of giving a deadline or restrictions on myself... not that i don't see the value of that. to me, i've decided to take whatever life throws at me, good AND bad. as you probably know by now, we never know what life throws at us. we make decisions and live with the consequences, hope that it makes us better persons.

i can't wait for my life to begin. hahahahaha.

the right decision

Thanks, Ja.

"How will you know if you have made the right decision? Answer: It's when you picked the harder choice yet your heart is at peace."

coincidences

"...life is composed of a series of coincidences over which we have no control...how we respond, the actions we take in the face of these coincidences, makes all the difference... all these decisions had brought me to my current place in life."

~ John Perkins

from Confessions of an Economic Hitman

How do I Deal

Everyday I wake up

To another day gone by

Nothing but the open road

And a never ending why

Anything can happen yeah

But nothing never does

I try to change It's kind of strange

The same as it ever was

But look at us

How do I deal with you.

How do I deal with me

When I Don't even know myself

Or what it is you want from me

How do I deal with us

How do I know what's real

When I don't even trust myself

Or what it is I feel

How do I deal

Every night in the dark I lie awake in bed

How am I supposed to dream with all the static in my head

(Torn in all) torn in all (in all) directions (directions)

And I pray for some relief

What can I do but feel the weight I'm underneath

And grit my teeth

How do I deal with you

How do I deal with me

When I Don't even know myself

Or what it is you want from me

How do I deal with love

Why do I why do I have to choose

Everybody's telling me

What the hell I have to do

How do I deal with us

How do I know what's real

When I don't even trust myself

Or what it is I feel

Now how do I deal

(How do I deal with you) How do I deal with you (How do I deal with me)

When I don't even know myself

Or what it is you want from me

(How do I deal with love) How do I deal (Why do I have to choose)

When everybody's telling me

What the hell I have to do

(How do I deal with you) How do I deal with you (How do I deal with me)

How do I deal with me

When I don't even know myself

Or what it is you want fom me

~ Jennifer Love Hewitt

before I forget (excerpt 1)

An excerpt from the latest book I finished.

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There are two moments in the relationship with every woman I have known in my life, which have brought me closer to understanding – even if it was without ever fully getting there – what it means to be alive.

One is the moment of orgasm. Not my own, but that of the woman I am with. Because it is immeasurably more wonderful than anything I could hope to feel myself. Seeing – hearing, feeling, knowing – her in the throes of ecstasy, does not primarily bring a sense of achievement, the Little Jack Horner syndrome (Look, what a clever boy am I), but a sense of awe: this is what a human individual – this she who is you – is capable of. It is an unfathomable combination of two sensations which ought to be essentially different, and yet merged: it is a sharing, almost a fusion, which leaves me with a feeling of unspeakable joy, even of gratitude (Thank you for allowing me to be with you in the ultimate moment); but also a feeling of utter solitude. I can see it, hear it, feel it, taste it – but I can never be on the inside of it with you. I cannot even be sure whether I really know what it is like. Is it like my own? Or incomparable? Just as I can never know if what you see at any given moment is exactly the same as what I see. We look at a colour. We both call it red. But is is only because we have been taught to call it by that name. There is no guarantee – not ever – that we see it in the same way, that your red is my red. How much more momentous is something like orgasm. But for that very reason your solitude, your quite literal wrapped-upness in it cannot but bring that experience of what for lack of a better word I call awe.

The other moment is very, very different. And yet not, if one really things about it, so different at all. It is the moment when I wake up with a woman in my arms, and see her still sleeping. I raise myself on an elbow. I gaze. I gaze at her without even for a moment being able to understand at all of what I see. You: sleeping. The one I have shared a special experience with; the one I have shared hours, days, months, perhaps years of my life with. Yet, here, in this instant, so utterly confirmed in your youness that you are turned into a mystery, I am conscious of being on the outside of it: it actually makes me feel an intruder, someone who should not be here at all, should not be allowed to gaze upon you in this ineffable moment of sleep. Because here you are totally vulnerable, you have no protection against the world. Except the protection of your own self. Which, being unfathomable, leaves you so naked that you may just as well have been peeled from your skin, a grape, a transparent fruit, light in the heart of light. And that is a mystery forever.

And yet by falling asleep beside me, you have sanctioned, silently, this intrusion and this gaze. To sleep with someone can be more intimate than making love. It is a yielding, and a trust, that cannot be compared to anything else. You have granted me this. Can I ever be worthy of it? This is the moment I come closest to understanding something of that over used and misunderstood word: love.

~ Chris Minaar

from Before I Forget

by Andre Brink

"Have you ever wondered why the Bible doesn't say, 'Wives, love your husbands?"

something i picked up, of all places, from Facebook.

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"Two days ago, I had an ecumenical meeting with President Gloria and various religious leaders in the country (even Muslim leaders). That was where I spoke to Bishop Ruben Abante, the head of the Alliance of Baptist Churches in the Philippines . We were talking about how to solve the problems of the world. (Naks!) That was when Bishop Ruben gave me a word about families that blew my mind. He said, "Brother Bo, the Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, 'Husbands, love your wives, and wives submit to your husbands.' Have you ever wondered why the Bible doesn't say, 'Wives, love your husbands?'"

"Why?" I asked.

The Bishop explained to me that the responsibility to love the family rests on the husband's shoulder. The wife and the kids are only to respond to that love. In the same way that the Bible says in 1 John 4:9 (my life verse) "We love because He first loved us," we respond to God's love for us. That was powerful. I began to reflect on all the broken families I've
counselled through the past 28 years of my life. Most of them (not all ) were broken because the father didn't love enough. And as I reflect on all the broken people I've counselled, I can see the same pattern. In most of these individuals (again, not all), I see the lack of a loving father in that person's life.

Fathers, you have a pivotal role in the life of your wife and children. You are to aggressively, assertively, deliberately love them-and they will respond. But the good Bishop was not finished. He said, "Why didn't God say, 'Husbands, submit to your wife?'"

"Why?" I asked again.

He said that once that love is there, submission is the natural response . He asked, "Why is there so much rebellion and disobedience among children today?" He explained that kids need to see their mother submit to their father as a model to follow. (We didn't have time to talk about situations where the man of the house doesn't love. Should the wife still submit? That difficult question I hope to answer it in another article.) But let me share with you my experience.

I love my wife. I do it aggressively, assertively, and deliberately. And she submits to my leadership. I have a vision for the family and I'm bringing my family to that vision-and she supports me. But what does that mean in daily life? That I'm king and she's my slave? Gosh, you should visit my home. Because I love her, I want to serve her. And because she follows already my general direction, I realize that 90% of life's decisions are about the trivial stuff. Because I love her, it's my joy to say, "Yes" to her . So in reality, I follow her 90% of the time! She isn't my slave. She is the queen I pamper.

That, my friends, is marital headship-submission in daily life. Husbands, take responsibility in filling your family with love. Wives, support and submit to your husband [in filling your family with love]. And together, we can fill the world with God's love."

I remain your friend,
Bo Sanchez

goldilocks gone...

i lost my mala-goldilocks hair to a totally inept Singaporean stylist who either couldn't understand my proper unaccented English or had no idea what the hell she was doing.

from long, soft, curly hair down to bra length... TO short, perenially flying-away layered bob with the longest strand of hair stopping at the base of my neck. i guess this is what Singaporean stylists call "trim", which is equivalent to cutting half the length of hair.

2 out of 3 bad experiences is bad statistics. so i formally declare that I shall NEVER have another Singaporean stylist touch my fabulous hair ever again. EVER. i am not being racist. my deep disappointment is supported by statistics and heartache.

having said that, i shout: LONG LIVE PINOY stylists! Even the McDonalds-of-hairstylists-from David's Salon can make me happy. And they cost a fraction of what i spend here. I actually paid someone to make me feel bad. how ironic.

but as I am Pinoy thru and thru, i desperately seek for the silver lining in the dark horizon: it's amazing how a bad haircut can single-handedly put things in perspective. i cannot "control" my hair, BUT i can control my life. i've been feeling like my life is spinning out of control and i've been deliriously allowing myself to be spun around.

This has got to stop. And NO, im not pasting a photo of my bad haircut here.

[I need to buy a hairgrower that works. Seriously.]

missing my friends...

it's true what they say, you can never fully appreciate something or someone until it's gone.

now that i'm separated from my old and good friends, friends who i literally grew up with, i miss their company, even if it just means sharing a tub of cheap ice cream or a bag of chips while watching a cheesy Korean movie.

it's fun to reminisce about all the stupid things we did while we were young(er): having different crushes every week, cutting class, crying and fighting over a guy (who isn't even gwapo), having the hots for a cute professor, getting drunk the night before a big exam or orals, getting drunk and still going to class, wearing a skirt in the hopes of getting a better grade (yes, i sunk that low), cramming, surviving philo and terror professors, smoking, drinking until we literally crawled back to our rooms, maxing out credit cards and getting shocked when the bill arrived...

but it's the simple things that i miss: having lunch and making tsismis, long talks until 3am, watching cheesy movies and Sex & the City, going to church together, having lunch at that resto near gate 3 and eat sisig or chopseuy (what's the name???? pakshet!!! Ken Afford???), spending a whole hot summer afternoon by the Cervini pool, eating at Mcdo and the clubhouse, drinking at home because we didn't have money, eating squidballs along Ayala Ave, lunching out and window shopping at Landmark during Fridays, watching series during lunch...

i miss my friends.

and this blog is making me feel old.

boys, read on. swaaaaabeeeeh! XD

Link

Biblical pick-up lines (????)

OK, so I'm very delayed.

if not for terrible migraine, combined with early siesta and ibuprofen, which caused my head to spin yet prevented me from sleeping it off last night, i wouldn't have seen this movie.

yes, i cried while watching. but i don't know if it was the movie or my imploding head, or me, or everything.

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Juno: I just need to know if people can stay happy together forever…

Dad: Well, it’s not easy. That’s for sure. And I don’t have the best track record in the world I know. But I’ve been with your stepmother for 10 years now and I’m proud to say that we’re very happy.

Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is to find the person who loves you for exactly who you are: good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person still thinks the sunshine out of your ass. That’s the kind of person worth sticking with.

Juno: Yeah, I think I have found that person.

Anyone Else But You (Moldy Peaches)

You're a part time lover and a full time friend

The monkey on you're back is the latest trend

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train

I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple

We sure are cute for two ugly people

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me

So why can't, you forgive me?

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

I will find my nitch in your car

With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

Du du du du du du dudu

Du du du du du du dudu

Du du du du du du dudu du

Up up down down left right left right B A start

Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

You are always trying to keep it real

I'm in love with how you feel

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage

You want more fans, I want more stage

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

Don Quixote was a steel driving man

My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

Squinched up your face and did a dance

You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants

I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else

But you

Du du du du du du dudu

Du du du du du du dudu

Du du du du du du dudu du

But you

a conversation between me (10 yrs ng may BF) and a friend (ngayon lang nagka-GF. ever.). my answer doesn't suggest that i'm an expert. well, he asked. =P

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Friend: cge nga... pano ka nakasisiguro na you're in love?

Me: Hmmm. it's different for me than most people i guess.

hindi kasi ako nadadala sa bait ng lalaki, porke't magkasama kami parati, or sweet sa akin.

i look at a guy and ask myself kung kakayaniin nya ba ako, good and bad. if nakita kong maayos naman syang lalaki at kaya akong dalhin, saka ko lang ino-open up sarili ko.

it's a conscious decision for me. so i know when i'm in love.

for others it's different i guess. nasasayo un.

basta for me, it's not just kasi kinikilig ka. i guess you know when you're in love when you realize na gugustuhin mo pa rin ung tao kahit nakita mo na ung pangit nyang ugali, na kahit ganun sya mamahalin mo pa din sya.

im not a romantic e. mahirap akong ligawan.

Friend: mukha nga

----------------------------------------------

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

no time for stillness

the past year has been a ... rollercoaster ride of sorts.

i was flung from boredom, staring at my room's ceiling... to don't-have-time-to-barely-sleep, or fix my bed or my laundry. i was suddenly flung into chaos. or maybe i chose to be...

some nights, i feel myself longing for time to just stop, for the world not to move, for a chance not to think, for stillness...

LIFE...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that
wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You
will have your heart broken probably more than once and
it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight
with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things
an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too
many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never
been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be
afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

I am not a convenient choice.

People do not understand why I took this risk. Why I even encouraged it. Here is why:

I do not want to be chosen just because I've been here for the longest time, or because it's troublesome to look and choose, or because it's such a waste to throw away the long years together.

I do not want to be chosen just because of there's a lack of option.

Or if there are options, I want them considered. And at the end of it, if I'm chosen or not, I'll live with it. As long as I've been chosen as ME. Not for any other reason.

I don't want to be a convenient choice.

Because I'm not.

Lundagin mo, beybeh...

I couldnt sleep last night. So I was thought in the dark and asked myself yet again why I was where I was. And why B couldn't seem to understand. I realized that ever since college, I haven't really formed a "me" because I always had to consider other people: my family and B. I dont think I regret doing that, especially for B. I know I became a better person because of him. It's just the reality that led me to where I am right now. Now... when I am at the stage where I will have to decide if I want to enter a relationship that should last forever. I am scared I'll never be able to recognize me myself if I did choose that... because whether I deny it or not, one can ever be independent in marriage or any form of partnership. Yes, we could be co-dependent with our partners. But it's not the same.

The difference between me and B, even when we were still in college, he already knew what would make him happy, in terms of career and life in general. As for me, I didn't. I was a clean slate. I took in whatever life threw my way and lived with it. Looking back, I think I was happy.

However, most of the time, my life took the mold of the people important to me: family, friends, B. Even when I was a yuppie (I consider myself "un-yuppie" already), I wasn't able to form a life I could call all my own.

So to answer the questions: "what do you want? what would make you happy?"... I have no freaking idea what I want. Or what my dreams are. Or what would make me happy.

I had this conversation with a friend. I asked her how she came to the conclusion that she wanted to get married. According to her, she knew that getting married and having a kid would make her happy. So she asked me the same thing: what will make me happy? And my answer was the same: I don't freaking know. Haahhaa...

BUT would you really know what will make you happy, without actually experiencing that thing? I told her, I wouldn't know if being a mom or a wife will make me happy. Because I've never been a wife or a mom. I'll never know if seeing the world will make me happy because I've never seen the world. I'll never know if changing careers will make me happy, because I've never taken that road.

I do know that being with my family and friends makes me happy. I know I'm happy when im with B, because I spent 10 happy years with him (albeit some of it rocky in between).

I guess we don't really know. What we do know is to have faith that some things will make us happy.

I don't know what I want for my future. Right now, all I want is to slowly see myself unfolding. And when I know myself just enough to still remain "me" (no matter how dysfunctional) even in marriage, then I will choose to live the rest of my life with B (if he'll have me, of course).

Yes, despite everything and because of everything, it's him I want to be with. Because it's the one thing I'm sure that made me happy.

Will enduring a lifetime with him make me happy? I don't know.

But I have faith that it will.

remember this?

remember this?

This was taken June 2000, 2 months after graduation at San Salvador Island in Zambales. We slept on the hard papag of a humble hut owned by the caretaker of the marine sanctuary just a few feet away from the shore. I had to go on a Friday night with Rap because I was already working then (turned out to be a bad decision). Pau, Jaja, Jake were happily unemployed then.

we were so young, innocent, dreamy-eyed and hopeful...

what happened between that time and now? I guess LIFE did.

IF

got this from cyberspace. thought it would be nice to share...

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If I am what I have and if I lose what I have, who then am I?

~ Erich Fromm

Here are 30 “if statements” worth learning if you have the intentions of leading a more productive life.

1. If you don’t understand the product or service, don’t buy it until you do.
2. If you do not take ownership of your actions, your actions will eventually own you.
3. If you are not saving at least 10% of your salary, you are not saving enough.
4. If you talk too much, people will stop listening. If you don’t talk enough, people will never hear your point of view.
5. If you are lazy, you will fail. Laziness will always overshadow your true potential.
6. If you hate your job, you also hate half of the time you spend on this planet.
7. If you are not investing (120 minus your age) percent of your savings in the stock market, you are giving up thousands of dollars over the course of your lifetime.
8. If you don’t finish what you start, your success rate will always be zero.
9. If you don’t consume enough liquids, you will never be healthy.
10. If your monthly debt payments exceed 40% of your total income, you will go broke if you don’t fix your spending habits promptly.
11. If you avoid your problems, your problems will steer the course of your life.
12. If something sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true.
13. If you are buying a brand new car every 3-5 years, stop! You are wasting your money.
14. If you don’t keep up with important current events, you will look like an idiot in front of others.
15. If you back-up on a freeway off-ramp, you increase your chances of having an accident by about 1000%. Go to the next exit and turn around.
16. If you are not learning something new every day, you are wasting away days of your life.
17. If you threaten to quit your job, even if it’s a subtle suggestion, you better be ready to leave now.
18. If somebody asks you for your social security number, don’t give it to them!
19. If you are paying high monthly insurance premiums for a lower claim deductible, you are pissing in the wind.
20. If you don’t ever intend to help others, expect them to return the favor.
21. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you probably aren’t learning much at all.
22. If you don’t dream, you will live solely as an entity of someone else’s dreams.
23. If you are ever confused, don’t be afraid to ask questions.
24. If you don’t listen to good music while exercising, you are missing out on the best part of your workout.
25. If you are not happy, it’s time to change something.
26. If you never stare off into the distance, you’ll never get there.
27. If you dress a certain way, people will treat you a certain way.
28. If you never try something new, your life’s story will be boring.
29. If you aren’t in love, don’t settle.
30. If you are overly emotional right now, make the decision later.

IF

got this from cyberspace. thought it would be nice to share...

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If I am what I have and if I lose what I have, who then am I?

- Erich Fromm

Here are 30 “if statements” worth learning if you have the intentions of leading a more productive life.

1. If you don’t understand the product or service, don’t buy it until you do.
2. If you do not take ownership of your actions, your actions will eventually own you.
3. If you are not saving at least 10% of your salary, you are not saving enough.
4. If you talk too much, people will stop listening. If you don’t talk enough, people will never hear your point of view.
5. If you are lazy, you will fail. Laziness will always overshadow your true potential.
6. If you hate your job, you also hate half of the time you spend on this planet.
7. If you are not investing (120 minus your age) percent of your savings in the stock market, you are giving up thousands of dollars over the course of your lifetime.
8. If you don’t finish what you start, your success rate will always be zero.
9. If you don’t consume enough liquids, you will never be healthy.
10. If your monthly debt payments exceed 40% of your total income, you will go broke if you don’t fix your spending habits promptly.
11. If you avoid your problems, your problems will steer the course of your life.
12. If something sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true.
13. If you are buying a brand new car every 3-5 years, stop! You are wasting your money.
14. If you don’t keep up with important current events, you will look like an idiot in front of others.
15. If you back-up on a freeway off-ramp, you increase your chances of having an accident by about 1000%. Go to the next exit and turn around.
16. If you are not learning something new every day, you are wasting away days of your life.
17. If you threaten to quit your job, even if it’s a subtle suggestion, you better be ready to leave now.
18. If somebody asks you for your social security number, don’t give it to them!
19. If you are paying high monthly insurance premiums for a lower claim deductible, you are pissing in the wind.
20. If you don’t ever intend to help others, expect them to return the favor.
21. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you probably aren’t learning much at all.
22. If you don’t dream, you will live solely as an entity of someone else’s dreams.
23. If you are ever confused, don’t be afraid to ask questions.
24. If you don’t listen to good music while exercising, you are missing out on the best part of your workout.
25. If you are not happy, it’s time to change something.
26. If you never stare off into the distance, you’ll never get there.
27. If you dress a certain way, people will treat you a certain way.
28. If you never try something new, your life’s story will be boring.
29. If you aren’t in love, don’t settle.
30. If you are overly emotional right now, make the decision later.

RELATIONSHIP 101 (by hopefulrealist)

I stumbled upon this blog, thanks to my friend who, like most of us, are thinking about her current relationship.

Some of you may know the blogger. Please extend my thanks.

In the dark, hazy, crazy maze of relationships, snippets like these are always welcome.

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1. Never rearrange your life for somebody you are in a relationship with. If you were planning to live abroad, do it. If you wanted to go back to school, then study. Don't move to a different country for a girl/guy unless you have concrete plans to get married, otherwise, you might end up not knowing what you want anymore when the relationship doesn't work out. That said, I don't regret my 2 years, sometimes-long distance relationship with Boogie, or moving back to Manila. I just learned that I'm never going to do that again.

2. Don't just fall into a relationship. Be conscious of every decision you make with the other person, and what you are getting yourself into. If early in the relationship you realize that this guy doesn't possess certain qualities that are important to you, or even worse, has qualities that are dealbreakers for you, end it as soon as possible. Obvious examples can be cheating, lying, disrespect, not so obvious is fear of commitment. Since you don't really talk about it until later on, you don't find out until later on-when you are madly in love and try not to care. But there are signs. Ask about former relationships and stuff like that. You'll get an idea of where his head is at.

3. Trying your best doesn't guarantee that the outcome will be favorable. Some things are beyond your control. You can't control how another person will react or feel about a situation, and you also can't make another person apologize for being the way he/she is. Sometimes people just don't fit, no matter how hard they try. It could be because they are in different stages in life, and they can check back later on-although I wouldn't count on it, or just because they are so fundamentally different, they can't find common ground.

4. Don't be jaded if a relationship doesn't work out. There are billions of people on earth. So one hurt you, and you hurt another. It's not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean everyone will, even if it sure feels like it for a few months after.

5. Don't get into a relationship if you are not ready. Just because he/she is cute, nice, respectful and has a million qualities you like, if you aren't ready, then what can you possibly have to offer? Even after you have had time to heal from the last, you need time to be on your own too.

6. When you choose to love, do it 100%. It's the only way to go. Be smart but don't overthink. Just enjoy the ride.

7. Forgive but don't forget the lessons you learned. After going through heartbreak, we discover this renewed strength, this passion for life we forgot about and find our way back to our original path, and then you meet someone new, and there all that goes!

8. You can use your head without compromising what you feel, and you can use your heart without losing your head.

9. If you really love somebody, you want them to be happy and live their dreams, even if they don't necessarily involve you.

10. Give yourself a break. Stop thinking it's all your fault if it didn't work out. Give yourself time to mourn and grieve. Be with friends who don't mind hearing your thoughts over and over. Don't stop until you find that love inside yourself again. We'll always be ok.

Unwritten

Too bad I cannot post the mp3. (actually got a message from multiply that i posted a music file that "violated" intellectual property rights. gasp! not because i didn't know about this, but because they actually impose the "rule". hahhaa. takot ko lang ma-shutdown. so mega-erase... )

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I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten.

~ Natasha Bedingfield

what we do not have ...

It is in man’s nature to be unsatisfied with what he is, or what he has right now. Whoever said this had it right. No matter how successful we are, no matter how much money we have, how much clutter and mess we’ve amassed, we are never satisfied. We always look for what we do not have. We always want more. We always look into the ‘what-ifs’.

This can be good, provided that what we want makes us become better persons.

But most of the time, the “more” that we want just satisfies our shallow yearnings, which feeds into this cycle of psychosis.

It is a challenge, even a painful struggle, to pause for a while and change our perspective, to rediscover what really matters, to admit to ourselves that happiness does not lie in the temporal things we seek to amass.

So everyday, I hope to be always mindful and grateful for the things that came my way, good or bad, simple or extravagant, extraordinary or not...

For family no matter how dysfunctional it can be,

For good health,

For friends and enemies alike,

For lessons learned,

For opportunities caught and missed,

For sunshine and rain,

For smiles and tears,

For laughter,

For love and pain,

For life.