Tuesday, April 29, 2008

IF

got this from cyberspace. thought it would be nice to share...

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If I am what I have and if I lose what I have, who then am I?

- Erich Fromm

Here are 30 “if statements” worth learning if you have the intentions of leading a more productive life.

  1. If you don’t understand the product or service, don’t buy it until you do.
  2. If you do not take ownership of your actions, your actions will eventually own you.
  3. If you are not saving at least 10% of your salary, you are not saving enough.
  4. If you talk too much, people will stop listening. If you don’t talk enough, people will never hear your point of view.
  5. If you are lazy, you will fail. Laziness will always overshadow your true potential.
  6. If you hate your job, you also hate half of the time you spend on this planet.
  7. If you are not investing (120 minus your age) percent of your savings in the stock market, you are giving up thousands of dollars over the course of your lifetime.
  8. If you don’t finish what you start, your success rate will always be zero.
  9. If you don’t consume enough liquids, you will never be healthy.
  10. If your monthly debt payments exceed 40% of your total income, you will go broke if you don’t fix your spending habits promptly.
  11. If you avoid your problems, your problems will steer the course of your life.
  12. If something sounds too good to be true, it is too good to be true.
  13. If you are buying a brand new car every 3-5 years, stop! You are wasting your money.
  14. If you don’t keep up with important current events, you will look like an idiot in front of others.
  15. If you back-up on a freeway off-ramp, you increase your chances of having an accident by about 1000%. Go to the next exit and turn around.
  16. If you are not learning something new every day, you are wasting away days of your life.
  17. If you threaten to quit your job, even if it’s a subtle suggestion, you better be ready to leave now.
  18. If somebody asks you for your social security number, don’t give it to them!
  19. If you are paying high monthly insurance premiums for a lower claim deductible, you are pissing in the wind.
  20. If you don’t ever intend to help others, expect them to return the favor.
  21. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you probably aren’t learning much at all.
  22. If you don’t dream, you will live solely as an entity of someone else’s dreams.
  23. If you are ever confused, don’t be afraid to ask questions.
  24. If you don’t listen to good music while exercising, you are missing out on the best part of your workout.
  25. If you are not happy, it’s time to change something.
  26. If you never stare off into the distance, you’ll never get there.
  27. If you dress a certain way, people will treat you a certain way.
  28. If you never try something new, your life’s story will be boring.
  29. If you aren’t in love, don’t settle.
  30. If you are overly emotional right now, make the decision later.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

RELATIONSHIP 101 (by hopefulrealist)

I stumbled upon this blog, thanks to my friend who, like most of us, are thinking about her current relationship.

Some of you may know the blogger. Please extend my thanks.

In the dark, hazy, crazy maze of relationships, snippets like these are always welcome.

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1. Never rearrange your life for somebody you are in a relationship with. If you were planning to live abroad, do it. If you wanted to go back to school, then study. Don't move to a different country for a girl/guy unless you have concrete plans to get married, otherwise, you might end up not knowing what you want anymore when the relationship doesn't work out. That said, I don't regret my 2 years, sometimes-long distance relationship with Boogie, or moving back to Manila. I just learned that I'm never going to do that again.

2. Don't just fall into a relationship. Be conscious of every decision you make with the other person, and what you are getting yourself into. If early in the relationship you realize that this guy doesn't possess certain qualities that are important to you, or even worse, has qualities that are dealbreakers for you, end it as soon as possible. Obvious examples can be cheating, lying, disrespect, not so obvious is fear of commitment. Since you don't really talk about it until later on, you don't find out until later on-when you are madly in love and try not to care. But there are signs. Ask about former relationships and stuff like that. You'll get an idea of where his head is at.

3. Trying your best doesn't guarantee that the outcome will be favorable. Some things are beyond your control. You can't control how another person will react or feel about a situation, and you also can't make another person apologize for being the way he/she is. Sometimes people just don't fit, no matter how hard they try. It could be because they are in different stages in life, and they can check back later on-although I wouldn't count on it, or just because they are so fundamentally different, they can't find common ground.

4. Don't be jaded if a relationship doesn't work out. There are billions of people on earth. So one hurt you, and you hurt another. It's not the end of the world, and it doesn't mean everyone will, even if it sure feels like it for a few months after.

5. Don't get into a relationship if you are not ready. Just because he/she is cute, nice, respectful and has a million qualities you like, if you aren't ready, then what can you possibly have to offer? Even after you have had time to heal from the last, you need time to be on your own too.

6. When you choose to love, do it 100%. It's the only way to go. Be smart but don't overthink. Just enjoy the ride.

7. Forgive but don't forget the lessons you learned. After going through heartbreak, we discover this renewed strength, this passion for life we forgot about and find our way back to our original path, and then you meet someone new, and there all that goes!

8. You can use your head without compromising what you feel, and you can use your heart without losing your head.

9. If you really love somebody, you want them to be happy and live their dreams, even if they don't necessarily involve you.

10. Give yourself a break. Stop thinking it's all your fault if it didn't work out. Give yourself time to mourn and grieve. Be with friends who don't mind hearing your thoughts over and over. Don't stop until you find that love inside yourself again. We'll always be ok.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Unwritten

Too bad I cannot post the mp3. (actually got a message from multiply that i posted a music file that "violated" intellectual property rights. gasp! not because i didn't know about this, but because they actually impose the "rule". hahhaa. takot ko lang ma-shutdown. so mega-erase... )

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I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten.

~ Natasha Bedingfield

Sunday, March 16, 2008

what we do not have ...

It is in man’s nature to be unsatisfied with what he is, or what he has right now. Whoever said this had it right. No matter how successful we are, no matter how much money we have, how much clutter and mess we’ve amassed, we are never satisfied. We always look for what we do not have. We always want more. We always look into the ‘what-ifs’.

This can be good, provided that what we want makes us become better persons.

But most of the time, the “more” that we want just satisfies our shallow yearnings, which feeds into this cycle of psychosis.

It is a challenge, even a painful struggle, to pause for a while and change our perspective, to rediscover what really matters, to admit to ourselves that happiness does not lie in the temporal things we seek to amass.

So everyday, I hope to be always mindful and grateful for the things that came my way, good or bad, simple or extravagant, extraordinary or not...

For family no matter how dysfunctional it can be,

For good health,

For friends and enemies alike,

For lessons learned,

For opportunities caught and missed,

For sunshine and rain,

For smiles and tears,

For laughter,

For love and pain,

For life.

Monday, February 25, 2008

are you strong enough to be my man?

listen

God, I feel like hell tonight
Tears of rage I cannot fight
I’d be the last to help you understand
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Nothing’s true and nothing’s right
So let me be alone tonight
Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

I have a face I cannot show
I make the rules up as I go
It’s try and love me if you can
Are you strong enough to be my man?

When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care
When I’m throwing punches in the air
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand
Will you be strong enough to be my man?

Lie to me
I promise I’ll believe
Lie to me
But please don’t leave

~ sheryl crow

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

tonight I can write the saddest lines ~ pablo neruda

Write, for example,'The night is shattered

and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms

I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.

How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.

And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.

The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.

My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.

My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.

We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.

My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.

Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.

Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms

my sould is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer

and these the last verses that I write for her.

Friday, February 01, 2008

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

By: Bo Sanchez

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i'm sure somebody posted this already. but i'm reposting it again, for all those who are married, contemplating marriage or in a long-time relationship, even a short one. something to think about. =)

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During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?" I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages break down. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): The Key To Succeeding in Marriage Is Not Finding The Right Person; It's Learning To Love The Person You found!

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM.. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . not just a feeling.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

What about love?

Being in a relationship is hard.

You are forced to become mature, to face insecurities, to settle your issues. To learn how to compromise. To see things his way and try to understand. To bend over backwards. To listen. To be patient. To swallow your pride. To learn how to say “I’m sorry,” and mean it.

You need to look at your partner’s faults squarely, and still accept him. To believe in his potential, yet cherish whatever he is and whatever he has right now.

You need to be strong when he is not. Sometimes, you need to pretend you are weak, to validate his strength.

You have to sacrifice some of your dreams so that you can make new dreams together.

So when there are days when I find myself saying, “Ayoko na. Pagod na ako,” I listen to this song. Somehow, my tears dry up, I breathe again, I remember the reasons why choose to be in this relationship. And I move on.

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What if I took my time to love you?

What if I put no one above you?

What if I did the things that really matter?

What if I ran through hoops of disaster?

No one would care if we never made it

We’re in this alone so why don’t we face it

There is no room to blame one another

We just need time to forgive each other

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

How can I give this love a new beginning?

How can I stop the rain, its never ending?

How do I keep my soul believing?

Memories of how we should be keep calling?

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

I’ll take the river’s rise

I’ll take the happy times

I’ll take the moments of disaster

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

~ Lemar

What about love?

Being in a relationship is hard.

You are forced to become mature, to face insecurities, to settle your issues. To learn how to compromise. To see things his way and try to understand. To bend over backwards. To listen. To be patient. To swallow your pride. To learn how to say “I’m sorry,” and mean it.

You need to look at your partner’s faults squarely, and still accept him. To believe in his potential, yet cherish whatever he is and whatever he has right now.

You need to be strong when he is not. Sometimes, you need to pretend you are weak, to validate his strength.

You have to sacrifice some of your dreams so that you can make new dreams together.

So when there are days when I find myself saying, “Ayoko na. Pagod na ako,” I listen to this song. Somehow, my tears dry up, I breathe again, I remember the reasons why choose to be in this relationship. And I move on.

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What if I took my time to love you?

What if I put no one above you?

What if I did the things that really matter?

What if I ran through hoops of disaster?

No one would care if we never made it

We’re in this alone so why don’t we face it

There is no room to blame one another

We just need time to forgive each other

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

How can I give this love a new beginning?

How can I stop the rain, its never ending?

How do I keep my soul believing?

Memories of how we should be keep calling?

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

I’ll take the river’s rise

I’ll take the happy times

I’ll take the moments of disaster

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

What about love?

Being in a relationship is hard.

You are forced to become mature, to face insecurities, to settle your issues. To learn how to compromise. To see things his way and try to understand. To bend over backwards. To listen. To be patient. To swallow your pride. To learn how to say “I’m sorry,” and mean it.

You need to look at your partner’s faults squarely, and still accept him. To believe in his potential, yet cherish whatever he is and whatever he has right now.

You need to be strong when he is not. Sometimes, you need to pretend you are weak, to validate his strength.

You have to sacrifice some of your dreams so that you can make new dreams together.

So when there are days when I find myself saying, “Ayoko na. Pagod na ako,” I listen to this song. Somehow, my tears dry up, I breathe again, I remember the reasons why choose to be in this relationship. And I move on.

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What if I took my time to love you?

What if I put no one above you?

What if I did the things that really matter?

What if I ran through hoops of disaster?

No one would care if we never made it

We’re in this alone so why don’t we face it

There is no room to blame one another

We just need time to forgive each other

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

How can I give this love a new beginning?

How can I stop the rain, its never ending?

How do I keep my soul believing?

Memories of how we should be keep calling?

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

I’ll take the river’s rise

I’ll take the happy times

I’ll take the moments of disaster

What about love?

What about feeling?

What about all the things that make life worth living?

What about faith?

What about trust?

And tell me baby what about us?

Friday, January 11, 2008

Moalboal, Cebu (12.2007)

I love discovering new places. planning for a trip is both a joy and a chore for me. i get excited at the possibilities, but I also get stressed if there isn’t enough information. So as a public service (hahaha), I am posting the details of my Moalboal trip. I only wish that other travelers are as OC and generous as me. Hehehe.

It's a funny coincidence that I started doing this for my 2006 Malapascua-Bantayan-Camotes islands-amazing-race-trip, which is in Cebu din.

Disclaimer: information, prices, schedules, contact numbers may have changed as of posting. please do your own "due diligence" to avoid regrets =P

Moalboal essentials: booties, mask&snorkel, sunblock

Note 1: Cost

There are a lot of “white” tourists in Moalboal, so the prices are kinda jacked up. For the budget-conscious traveler, this might be a tad more expensive than Malapascua or Bantayan.

Note 2: Basdaku or Basdiot?

Basdaku means “big sand” (bas = sand + daku = big), while Basdiot means “small/little sand” (bas = sand + diot = small/little)

There are 2 main beaches in Moalboal, White Beach (or Basdaku) and Panagsama (or Basdiot). Technically, Panagsama doesn’t have a sandy beach anymore because a strong storm washed it away (according to the locals. I didn’t ask for the specifics). If you’re a diver or want cheaper accommodations or share day trips to Pescador Island, there are more choices in Panagsama. There are also more bars/pubs in the area so it can be a bit noisy daw. These are all according to what I’ve read on the web, the tricycle drivers, and the staff at our resort. We didn’t go to Panagsama anymore.

If, however, you want to wake up at the sight of a big, sandy beach, or have a quiet moment while waiting for sunset, or just snorkel at the house reefs, you should opt for White Beach. The accommodations are more expensive though. There were some mom-and-pop bungalows/nipa huts for rent along the shore of White Beach but I didn’t get the chance to get their info. Most likely first-come-first served basis. I couldn’t vouch for the bathrooms, maybe that’s why I wasn’t motivated to ask. Hahaha. There were campers (as in complete with tents and cookware) along the beach, but I don’t remember seeing public baths and toilets. Go figure.


Useful link for possible accommodations: http://www.moalboal.org.uk/accommodation. When I called up to make reservations (around Oct), most resorts right in White Beach had rooms for a minimum of P3000 a night. But they were all fully-booked at that time.

Day 1

  1. Taxi to South Bus Terminal P120
  2. Non-aircon Ceres bus to Badian (?) via Barili P90
  3. Food along the way P135
  4. Tricycle from bus station to resort P100
  5. Lunch @ resort P525
  6. Resort aircon room (1 day) P1,500
  7. Dinner @ resort P600

Total for 2 pax = P3,208

To go to Moalboal, take a Badian-Barili (ask the conductors in the station) Ceres bus at the South Bus Terminal. We were informed by the kundoktor that there was no airconditioned bus going to Barili (leaves every 30mins). Good thing that there was hardly any traffic and the road condition was good, not even a stretch of dirt road from the city to Moalboal proper. The bus ride took about 3 hours. From the bus station at Moalboal, we hired a tricycle (pakyaw) to take us to the Asian-Belgian Resort (see link from above). The Asian-Belgian was 2 resorts off White Beach, less than 5-minute walk along rocky shores.

Dolphin House, Club Serena, and Ravenala resorts along Basdaku, but they were all fully-booked when I made reservations last October (yes, October!) so we ended up at Asian-Belgian, which was not too bad. The rooms were clean, the bathroom was fairly big and new, and it was cheap compared to the resorts at Basdaku beach front. The staff was friendly and helpful, the food was not bad and more than enough for me (though a little expensive: P250/meal), and the place was quiet, which was what we needed.

After lunch and siesta, we crossed two neighboring resorts to get to Basdaku to catch the sunset. It was a little cloudy, but we had good-enough share of the golden sky. And, oh, the sunset is right at Basdaku, something like Boracay sunset.

Had dinner at Asian-Belgian.

Day 2

  1. Tricycle to/from Kawasan Falls P600
  2. Entrance fee to falls P20
  3. Raft (3hrs) P300
  4. 2 Bangkero P300
  5. Lunch P290
  6. Tricycle to/from Marine Sanctuary P200
  7. Dinner @ Serena resort P900

Total for 2 pax = P3,010.00

The trip to Kawasan falls took about 45minutes, via tricycle, from Moalboal proper. It’s a good 15-minute brisk walk from the parking area to the falls. We just followed the river upstream. Our bangkero was very persistent. He followed us from the parking all the way to the falls. I suggest that you get the bangkero when you reach the falls. This way, you can go up to other groups who want to go under the falls and share the cost of both the raft and the bangkero. All in hindsight. Sige na nga, Christmas naman, a season of giving.

The tables near the falls are for rent on an hourly basis, the prices depend on the location. Make sure to inquire before sitting down. The tables near the CR and “restaurant” are also for rent at P50. Only the 1st falls has a “restaurant”, which served not-too-bad liempo (either that, or sobrang gutom na kami). Sobrang tourist trap talaga. Dun ka na nga kakain sa restaurant, babayaran mo pa ung table. Anlabo.

The 2nd falls also had cottages, which are also for rent. You need to bring your own food if you plan to hang out here.

It was crowded when we went there, with both locals and tourists. I only braved jumping from a 7-foot-high rock. If not for the slippery rocks, I would’ve made a jump at the 2nd falls. Naisip ko, I’m not as limber as before.

The highlight of our Kawasan trip was going under the rocks towards the underbelly of the falls, while lying flat on our tummies on a floating kawayan raft. You would think that you can’t possibly fit in the cracks of the rocks. But we did! And being under the falls was exhilarating! It was noisy, cold, misty, and cold, and cold. We went under the force of the falls, literally. It was so strong, nalawlaw ang shorts ko! At mejo masakit.

After the falls, we went to the Marine Sanctuary, which we tried to find while snorkeling but couldn’t. I would’ve skipped the trip and went directly to Basdaku to snorkel. We spent the afternoon lounging at Basdaku and taking pictures of the sunset, which was better than the previous day.

Had dinner at Serena resort, which was a lot better than Asian-Belgian. The place also felt … romantic and sweet, with soft lights coming from candles, torches, and Christmas lights. Date-place. After dinner, we decided to eat there for the rest of our stay.

Day 3

  1. Room P1500
  2. Breakfast P700
  3. Snorkel & Mask P800
  4. Lunch P900
  5. Tricycle P100
  6. Bus P200

Total for 2 pax = P4,200

Total for 2 pax (2 nights) = P10,418.00

The resort opened late for breakfast, so we were forced to tambay at the beach with empty stomachs. Locals were digging stuff out from the stones at the shore. I just hope they weren’t destroying the corals. After our breakfast at Serena, which was way better than at Asian-Belgian, we snorkeled at the resort’s house reef. The corals were surprisingly intact. The low tides made us snorkel at the “deeper” end of the shore which had better corals. The tide was so low that we reached the coral wall which made a sudden drop to the ocean. Ang daming little fishies!

We had yummy lunch of salpicao and beef stroganoff pasta at Serena. We were supposed to go back to our resort right after lunch to pack and shower, but the water was so clear and inviting, we couldn’t resist! Ended up swimming at the beach for another half-hour. I grudgingly took myself out of the water to start heading back to the resort, and prepare for our trip back to the city.


Except for the friendly Aussie-French couple we met at the bus, the trip was uneventful. They had to go to Carcar to withdraw money. Bucky chatted with them the whole time, showing off his Areneo accent, to which the Austrialian commented that we speak very good English. Tumaas ang kilay ko. The bus was airconditioned, so there are cold busses traveling to Moalboal, I just don’t know the schedule.


If not for the expensive … everything, I would’ve stayed one more night. Sobra akong bitin!


Wednesday, January 02, 2008

thoughts on my bday

I turn 29 years old today.

I find myself at a loss for words on how to describe being 29 and so close to 30, the “dreaded” age. At a loss, maybe because I’ve accepted this reality, and I am actually at peace. I feel a certain stillness and quiet (which hopefully will not turn out to be “the calm before the storm”). Unlike last year when I turned 28, I felt as though a rebellion was erupting in my head. Constantly restless, perennially stressed, and in denial. I couldn’t take it. Maybe that’s the reason why I wanted to go away, to be with myself again, to be in a new place.

Now that I’ve had 6 months to be “alone”, I think I found the peace I was looking for. Now, I can look forward to the rest of the year, and yes, to being 30, with a little less fear, and a little more anticipation and even excitement.

Let the good times roll!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

the heart of life is good

sometimes life takes a sudden turn. we're caught be surprise and stumble. but we learn to get up and try to figure out where we’re headed. and hopefully enjoy the ride.

---------------------------------------------------

i hate to see you cry

lying there in that position

there's things you need to hear

so turn off your tears

and listen

pain throws your heart to the ground

love turns the whole thing around

no, it wont all go the way it should

but I know the heart of life is good

you know it's nothin' new

bad news never had good timing

then the circle of your friends

will defend the silver lining

pain throws your heart to the ground

love turns the whole thing around

no it won't all go the way it should

but I know the heart of life is good

pain throws your heart to the ground

love turns the whole thing around

fear is a friend who is misunderstood

but I know the heart of life is good

i know it's good.

~ john mayer

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

love is tricky...

Love is tricky

It is never mundane or daily.

You can never get used to it.

You have to walk with it,

then let it walk with you.

You can never balk.

It moves you like the tide.

It takes you out to sea,

then lays you on the beach again.

Today’s struggling pain is the foundation for a certain stride through the heavens.

You can run from it,

But you can never say no.

It includes everyone.

~ Elza

By Amy Tan in The Hundred Secret Senses